EppsNet Archive: Death

Joan Rivers, 1933-2014

4 Sep 2014 /

I’ll miss her . . . she was funny, she pushed the envelope and she didn’t apologize.

RIP Joan Rivers


Don Pardo, 1918-2014

18 Aug 2014 /
Don Pardo

Don Pardo

In February 2002, I published a list of people I (incorrectly) thought were dead:

  • Joey Bishop – TV host
  • Ernest Borgnine – actor
  • Red Buttons – actor
  • Kitty Carlisle – game show panelist
  • Alistair Cooke – TV host
  • Buddy Ebsen – actor
  • Glenn Ford – actor
  • Eugene McCarthy – U.S. senator
  • Jack Paar – TV host, “The Tonight Show”
  • Don Pardo – TV announcer
  • Artie Shaw – clarinetist and bandleader
  • Byron White – U.S. supreme court justice
  • Richard Widmark – actor

With the death of Don Pardo this evening, all of those people are actually dead:

  • Joey Bishop – died 10/17/2007, age 89
  • Ernest Borgnine – died 7/8/2012, age 95
  • Red Buttons – died 7/13/2006, age 87
  • Kitty Carlisle – died 4/18/2007, age 96
  • Alistair Cooke – died 3/30/2004, age 95
  • Buddy Ebsen – died 7/6/2003, age 95
  • Glenn Ford – died 8/30/2006, age 90
  • Eugene McCarthy – died 12/10/2005, age 89
  • Jack Paar – died 1/27/2004, age 85
  • Artie Shaw – died 12/30/2004, age 94
  • Byron White – died 4/15/2002, age 84
  • Richard Widmark – died 3/24/2008, age 93

R.I.P. Don Pardo


Did Robin Williams Have a Dog?

13 Aug 2014 /

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning!

I’m seeing a person named Robin Williams on TV a lot. He always seems excited and happy, like a puppy! It’s scaring people that he ended his own life.

Dogs never end their own life, no matter what. You might think we couldn’t do that but we could run in front of a car or jump off a balcony, just to name a couple of things.

I wonder if Robin Williams had a dog . . .

My owner and I are getting old together. We can’t run like we used to, or see very well or hear very well. He’s sad about it sometimes but I think it helps people to see dogs trying our best in every situation. Everything is temporary.

— Lightning paw

On the Ottoman


More Words and Phrases I’m Sick Unto Death Of: “He Was Even Better as a Person”

12 Aug 2014 /
Aung San Suu Kyi

Aung San Suu Kyi greeting supporters from Bago State on 14 August 2011. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A person named Will Arnett was taping the Conan O’Brien show yesterday when they found out about Robin Williams’ untimely demise.

Arnett said this: “As funny as he was — he’s truly one of the all-time greats — he was even better as a person.”

That’s a reliable formulation: As great as he was as a [thing the person was known to be great at], he was even better as a person.

Of course because the person was known to be an outlier at the one thing, he (or she) was almost certainly NOT even better as a person.

How great was Robin Williams as a comedian? Top 10? I don’t know, that’s pretty competitive . . . I’m thinking of Groucho, Cosby, Charlie Chaplin, Steve Martin, George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Leno, Letterman . . .

But I’d say Top 20, definitely. So according to Will Arnett, Robin Williams was one of the 20 best people of all time!?

Was he a better person than Buddha? The Dalai Lama? Jesus? Mother Teresa? Abraham Lincoln? Gandhi? Socrates? Albert Schweitzer? Raoul Wallenberg? Nelson Mandela? Aung San Suu Kyi? Mr. Rogers? Your sweet, elderly grandma? Billions of other people doing their best to get along in the world?

I get that you might find yourself on the spot to say something nice about a person and you can’t think of anything to say but this “even better as a person” bullshit cannot be eradicated too soon in my opinion.


Robin Williams, 1951-2014

11 Aug 2014 /
Robin Williams Walk of Fame

Robin Williams dies at 63 in apparent suicide — LA Times

Past a certain point in life, there’s not a great deal to look forward to. I imagine it’s more difficult if the process includes transitioning from fame to anonymity.

Maybe he should have taken up golf . . .


Unintended Consequences: The Death of George Washington

16 Jul 2014 /
George Washington

In 1799, George Washington fell ill with an infection. Doctors at that time believed that illnesses were caused by an imbalance of fluids in the body. In particular, they believed that fevers were caused by an excess of blood, so they treated Washington’s fever with five separate bloodlettings, which together drained off over half the blood in his body.

Not only did the bloodletting not have a healing effect, it probably hastened his death.

The human body is a very complex mechanism. Society is a very complex mechanism. You might decide, with good intentions, to tinker with a complex mechanism thinking that even if your intervention doesn’t achieve the full benefit you’re hoping for, it will at least be better than nothing.

No — tinkering with a complex mechanism when you have no idea what you’re doing is only going to make things worse.

Related Links

“In Praise of Passivity” by Michael Huemer


What Comes Around Goes Around

16 Jul 2014 /

Via MSN News:

honor-killing

It’s a little-known fact that if a woman survives an honor killing, the would-be killers must themselves be killed in an honor killing for botching the original honor killing.


Futility

5 Jul 2014 /
BODIES

We saw BODIES: The Exhibition at the Luxor in Las Vegas. You’ve probably heard about this . . . dissected bodies are preserved and displayed for educational purposes.

Most of the bodies are displayed in athletic poses with props: baseball, basketball, tennis racket, etc.

One of the bodies is aiming a dart with his right hand while holding a second dart in his left hand. Of course he’s never going to need that second dart because he’s never going to throw the first dart. Because he’s dead.

It creates a sad effect in my opinion . . . plans, unbeknownst to the planner, that will never come to fruition. Futility doesn’t always end with death.

Meanwhile . . . I overheard a young woman telling her girlfriend that one of the cadavers had “a nice butt.” Live fast, die young, leave a good-looking corpse.


Louis Zamperini, 1917-2014

3 Jul 2014 /

Killed by Prayer

30 Jun 2014 /

Thumbs down

A woman on Facebook a couple of days ago asked everyone to pray for her seriously ill father. Today, he died. Go figure.

Had he made a miraculous recovery, we would have said that prayer “worked” . . . but what does it mean when you pray for someone to live and he dies?

I had a college professor . . . his exams were graded by a graduate assistant, but students had the option of appealing grades to the professor. That’s not unusual, but most professors will either raise the grade or leave it as is. This guy, however, would either raise the grade, leave it as is or lower it. Risky!

Maybe God operates on the same principle. When you put someone’s fate in his hands, he retains the option of saying “toodle-oo.”


Eli Wallach, 1915-2014

24 Jun 2014 /

Legendary character actor dies at age 98.


People Who Have Died

14 Jun 2014 /

I am getting aware of the fact that I keep writing and thinking about people who have died. I love living. I do not want to die for a long time because I am not ready. I suppose if I thought I was going to die, I could get ready given a period of time, but I am not sure about that. Some folks think that this is not a good thing to think about. I envy the control they must have over their thinking processes.

— Neil Young, Waging Heavy Peace

Dying at the Right Time

6 Jun 2014 /
John Lennon and Paul McCartney

Paul McCartney has 5,700,000 Likes on Facebook. John Lennon has 15,000,000 Likes, despite being dead for more than 30 years.

As Nietzsche used to say, “One must discontinue being feasted upon when one tasteth best; that is known by those who want to be long loved.”


(Willis) Tower of Terror

31 May 2014 /

Cracks appear on Willis Tower’s 103rd-story ledge TODAY

Been there, done that, took a picture:

Willis Tower

It was boring. You know what would make it more exciting? If they put up a sign that said ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK and three to five times a year the glass cracked and people plunged to their death.

Is that too much? OK, switch it to one plunge every three to five years.


People I Thought Were Dead

26 May 2014 /

See You in Hell, Carl Douglas

5 May 2014 /

Satan

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan -- PE]

“It put a smile on my face that finally [Donald Sterling] would be unable to deny the racist allegations against him,” said Carl Douglas, a lawyer who represented former Clippers general manager Elgin Baylor in a lawsuit against Sterling.

Carl Douglas is best known as a member of the O.J. Simpson defense team. O.J. Simpson has done some regrettable things, like murdering a couple of white people, but at least he’s never made negative remarks about Magic Johnson photos on Instagram.

See you in Hell . . .

P.S. Carl Douglas the lawyer should not be confused with Carl Douglas the “Kung Fu Fighting” singer. Him, I like.


Pope John Paul II Just Killed a Guy

25 Apr 2014 /

Man crushed by giant crucifix dedicated to Pope

A man has been crushed to death after a giant crucifix dedicated to Pope John Paul II collapsed, just days before a historic Papal canonisation in Rome.

The 30-metre-high (98ft) wooden and concrete cross fell during a ceremony in the Italian Alpine village of Cevo, near Brescia. Another man was taken to hospital.

The structure was dedicated to John Paul II on his visit to the region in 1998.

ITV News

It’s clear to me that the Pope intended to kill this man. What’s the rule? Does this cancel out one of his life-saving miracles?

If you believe that a dead person can be the agent of unexplained happenings on Earth, then you’ve got to take the bad with the good. If the Pope gets credit for a miracle when a woman’s health improves after seeing his picture in a magazine, then he should take the rap when his crucifix falls over and kills someone.

pope-crucifix


South Korea Ferry Disaster

24 Apr 2014 /

The stories coming out of this South Korea ferry disaster are wrecking me . . . I say that as someone who normally finds death interesting, especially on a large scale.


Gabriel García Márquez, 1927-2014

19 Apr 2014 /
Gabriel García Márquez

Gabriel García Márquez, the influential, Nobel Prize-winning author of “One Hundred Years of Solitude” and “Love in the Time of Cholera,” has died, his family and officials said.

He was 87.

CNN reported the death of García Márquez with more or less equal weightiness as the following “top stories”:

I didn’t cherry-pick those stories, by the way. They were all listed as Top Stories on CNN.com.

CNN is a “serious” news outlet. García Márquez’s death was also reported in the “popular” media, amongst reality show updates, celebrity pregnancies and Kardashians.

Orwell wrote about a society in which books are banned. As it turns out, there’s no need to ban books because no one has any interest in reading one. We’re drowning in a sea of trivia.

RIP Gabriel García Márquez


More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of

9 Apr 2014 /

People who hijack the occasion of another person’s death to offer up long-winded tributes – to themselves:

“My fondest memory of the deceased is the time many years ago when he fixed me with his penetrating gaze and, in that intense manner of speaking he had that brooked no dissension, he told me how great I am. What an inspiring moment! Blah blah blah . . . me me me . . .”

Thank you, Professor Pompous.

Stuck in India - Humayun's Tomb


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