EppsNet Archive: Death

Suck it Up, Censors!

 

This is kind of obvious but have you noticed that when someone is revealed to have done something they shouldn’t have done, they try to deflect the blame to whoever revealed the wrongdoing? It’s becoming customary, almost compulsory, on any point of contention to assert that your opponent’s position is not only wrong but that it would result in a loss of safety for, and in fact the probable death of, some unfortunate person or persons. Suck it up, censors! Read more →

Another Reason Dogs are Better Than Cats

 

That is a badass sheepdog. Killed 8 coyotes single-handed! Btw, I don't mean to offend cat people but cats are useless for killing coyotes. https://t.co/Luy9qX0Ezg — Paul Epps (@paulepps) December 5, 2022 Read more →

When a Mass Murder is of No Interest

 

Three University of Virginia football players were shot to death a few days ago. This has not set off a national media frenzy despite the fact that the victims were young, black, unarmed and not involved in the commission of a crime at the time of their death. They won’t get the “say his name,” George Floyd martyr treatment, no Black Lives Matter protests or condemnations, and very little press coverage at all, considering we’re talking about a mass murder of three black college students sitting on a bus. Why? Because the shooter looks like this: Read more →

Messaging vs. Reality

 

I live in California. Gavin Newsom’s main flaw is that he’s very stupid. Democrats are not getting destroyed on messaging. I don’t even know what the Republican message is. I know the Democratic message is “MAGA Republicans, extreme MAGA Republicans, fascists.” Now that is a losing message, I grant you, because Democrats who aren’t insane, for whom politics does not play a destructive force in their life, have friends, neighbors, co-workers, family members, etc., who are Republicans and understand that while Republicans have different political views, they aren’t trying to put Democrats in gulags. Democrats are getting destroyed by reality. Republicans are running on GDP, inflation, lying about inflation, recession, lying about recession, gas prices, food prices, stock market, crime, border security, fentanyl deaths, energy independence, foreign policy, supply chain, social corruption, silencing, lies, pronouns and fucking with children. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe the Republicans could… Read more →

In Which We Learn That You’re Much More Likely to be Killed by a Bed Than by a Political Extremist

 

‘We are a tinderbox’: Political violence is ramping up, experts warn — Los Angeles Times Politically motivated violence has ebbed and flowed throughout U.S. history. Currently, America is going through an upsurge in right-wing violence, according to researchers who track attacks and other incidents. They say today’s climate is comparable to that in the mid-1990s, when a similar wave of right-wing violence culminated in the 1995 bombing of the federal office building in Oklahoma City, which killed 168 people. I’ll call bullshit on that. I can do that. If someone pulls the the Oklahoma City bombing out of their ass and makes a gratuitous suggestion that it’s about to happen again, I get to gratuitously deny it. In fact, to avoid having to repeat myself, I’ll call bullshit on most of the article. It’s extremely slanted. There were 9,625 threats against members of Congress and their families last year, according… Read more →

Arrested and Conceivably Killed

 

To be fair, the plan to kill children is still under review. 🙂 Michael Beschloss on MSNBC warns America is just "six days away" from the end of democracy, historians, and the rule of law. And the start of a brutal GOP dictatorship in which our children could be "arrested and conceivably killed." https://t.co/4kFJuORA8r via @mediaite pic.twitter.com/SPByfPIV1k — Caleb Howe (@CalebHowe) November 3, 2022 Read more →

Woman’s Body Found in Santa Clarita Clothes Donation Box

 

Woman’s body found in Santa Clarita clothes donation box — msn.com Maybe she didn’t understand that you’re supposed to remove the clothes before putting them in the box. Actually, she was stuck in the donation slot so it seems more likely that she was there to collect (ie., steal) the donations. Read more →

It’s Called Acting, My Dear Boy

 

Bros Actor Guy Branum Blasts The Whale and Brendan Fraser’s Casting — movieweb.com In which a couple of fat gay actors complain that Darren Aronofsky’s upcoming move The Whale casts Brendan Fraser, who is not gay or especially fat, as a 600-pound gay man. “Who knows more about being an obese queer man than an obese queer man?” asks Daniel Franzese, an obese queer man. This reminds me of a story (which admittedly Dustin Hoffman has said is not quite accurate) about Marathon Man, in which Hoffman starred with Laurence Olivier. Hoffman showed up one day having not slept the night before so he could shoot a scene in which his character had not slept the night before. Olivier thought it was absurd. “It’s called acting, my dear boy,” he said. Olivier in that movie played a cold-blooded Nazi killer, that is, a cold-blooded Nazi who killed people, not a… Read more →

What Kind of Dogs Were They?

 

The dogs were pit bulls. I haven't been so shocked since Claude Rains discovered gambling at Rick's Café. https://t.co/eBN7UuKLPy — Paul Epps (@paulepps) October 8, 2022 Read more →

And That’s the Truth: White People Gotta Commit More Violent Crimes

 

[And That’s the Truth is a feature by our guest blogger, Sojourner Truth– PE] I just read that black people commit the majority of violent crimes in America. And there ain’t that many black people! They shouldn’t be committin more violent crimes than every other race put together. And I hates to say it but I can tell just from readin a headline whether or not I click through on the link I’m gonna see a black face on the other side. Man Kills Restaurant Worker Because His French Fries Were Cold — That’s a black guy. Restaurant Worker Kills Man for Complaining That His French Fries Were Cold — That’s a black guy. Man Killed Resisting Arrest — That’s a black guy. Man Kills His Wife Because She Won’t Shut Up — Ok, that could be anybody. Nine People Shot Outside a Club — Black guys. Wake up, white… Read more →

Verbal Blunder of the Week Competition

 

Competition was intense in the Verbal Blunder of the Week competition . . . First was the Joe Biden “I see dead people” gaffe: "Jackie are you here? Where's Jackie?" Rep. Jackie Walorski (R-IN) died in a car accident in August pic.twitter.com/cHc3b7zPmE — Charlie Spiering (@charliespiering) September 28, 2022 KJP tried to explain that Biden was trying to locate the deceased congresswoman in the audience because she was “top of mind”: .@CeciliaVega: "What happened at the Hunger Event today? [Biden] appeared to look around…for…a member of Congress [Jackie Walorski] who passed away last month…What happened there?" KJP: He "was acknowledging her incredible work…She was on his mind…top of mind" pic.twitter.com/LhEECd4QBR — Curtis Houck (@CurtisHouck) September 28, 2022 I suppose when I listen to Beatles music or to his own music, John Lennon is “top of mind” for me but I don’t look around the room trying to locate him. These… Read more →

U.S. Gun Deaths Per Capita

 

This hurts the US in the gun deaths per capita stats, the fact that mass murders in other countries are often carried out with bombs https://t.co/HcHykXTOk7 — Paul Epps (@paulepps) September 30, 2022 Read more →

Republican Extremists

 

Shannon Brandt, 41, struck and killed [18-year-old Cayler Ellingson] with his Ford Explorer SUV early Sunday in an alley. His mother said Ellingson called and asked her if she knew Brandt (she did). The boy called again a short time later and said that “‘he’ or ‘they’ were chasing him.” The mother could no longer reach him after that. Court documents said, “Brandt admitted to striking the pedestrian with his car because he had a political argument with the pedestrian and believed the pedestrian was calling people “to come get him.” He claimed the teen was part of an unspecified Republican “extremist group.” Brandt was released on bond. — dailysignal.com He was a MAGA Republican, a threat to the country like Joe Biden said. So I crushed him with my truck. To make America safe for democracy. Read more →

It All Depends on Who’s Slinging the Hash

 

"Cries." Boo hoo. Maybe you disagree but wishing the Queen of England an excruciating death is something one could take exception to without even knowing the race of the person who said it. https://t.co/07rFN8AVfi — Paul Epps (@paulepps) September 16, 2022 I don’t think the sentiment would play any better coming from a white person. The article goes on to say that the professor has faced “violent threats, harassment and abuse.” OK, first of all, let’s all keep our hands to ourselves. No violence. But still, of all the people who claim to have received violent threats or death threats, how many have actually been violently attacked? How many have died? The only case that comes to my mind is Salman Rushdie, and he didn’t get a death threat from a lone nut, he got a death threat from a global religion. Other than that, I have to call bullshit… Read more →

Here’s Something You Won’t Learn at Harvard Business School

 

Maybe leave this news clipping on your boss's desk. There's something they don't teach you at Harvard Business School and you didn't even need a student loan. https://t.co/dG8DwGHkc1 — Paul Epps (@paulepps) September 15, 2022 Read more →

And That’s the Truth: Some Things You Caint Do

 

[And That’s the Truth is a feature by our guest blogger, Sojourner Truth– PE] Minnesota Timberwolves ‘disappointed’ in Anthony Edwards, who apologizes for using anti-gay comments in Instagram video — espn.com I’m gonna tell y’all a little secret. They ain’t really “disappointed” and he ain’t really sorry. I don’t know what he said on the video. I can probly guess. I been called some names myself. Done called other people some names too. Mebbe you has too. It’s life, people, grow up. It’s jus like Dave Chappelle says, you can kill a nigger and nobody care but you caint hurt the feelings of a gay person. And that’s the Truth! Read more →

Next, Please

 

Always too eager for the future, we Pick up bad habits of expectancy. Something is always approaching; every day Till then we say, Watching from a bluff the tiny, clear Sparkling armada of promises draw near. How slow they are! And how much time they waste, Refusing to make haste! Yet still they leave us holding wretched stalks Of disappointment, for, though nothing balks Each big approach, leaning with brasswork prinked, Each rope distinct, Flagged, and the figurehead wit golden tits Arching our way, it never anchors; it’s No sooner present than it turns to past. Right to the last We think each one will heave to and unload All good into our lives, all we are owed For waiting so devoutly and so long. But we are wrong: Only one ship is seeking us, a black- Sailed unfamiliar, towing at her back A huge and birdless silence. In her… Read more →

The Final Slur

 

Reports indicate that Her Majesty has bestowed a great honor upon Meghan Markle by requesting her to be the recipient of the “Final Slur:” a traditional rite whereby the British Monarch utters their final racist remark before death. Markle will be the first non-Irish beneficiary. https://t.co/Z9PmuG7X1M — American Gaeltep (@Carlists4Pete) September 8, 2022 Read more →

Going

 

There is an evening coming in Across the fields, one never seen before, That lights no lamps. Silken it seems at a distance, yet When it is drawn up over the knees and breast It brings no comfort. Where has the tree gone, that locked Earth to the sky? What is under my hands, That I cannot feel? What loads my hands down? — Philip Larkin, “Going” Read more →

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