EppsNet Archive: Love

EppsNet at the Movies: A Man Called Ove

10 Feb 2018 /

A Man Called Ove is about love, death, friendship, aging, hope and heroic decency in the face of disaster. The film was nominated for two Academy Awards and was the highest-grossing foreign language film in the United States in 2016.

Tom Hanks is attached to star in a remake of this movie. I mention that in the hopes of motivating you to watch the original.

The Tom Hanks version will be terrible because the movie, as the title suggests, is about an ordinary man with a common name and the ordinary details that make up his life. Having the role played by a famous movie star is exactly the wrong thing to do.

Highly recommended!

Rating: 5 stars

A Man Called Ove

Ove, an ill-tempered, isolated retiree who spends his days enforcing block association rules and visiting his wife's grave, has finally given up on life just as an unlikely friendship develops with his boisterous new neighbors.

Director: Hannes Holm
Cast: Rolf Lassgård, Bahar Pars, Filip Berg, Ida Engvoll

IMDb rating: 7.7 (29563 votes)


Ghosts

22 Jan 2018 /

You must not think that what I have
accomplished through you

could have been accomplished by any other means.

Each of us is to himself
indelible. I had to become that which could not

be, by time, from human memory, erased.

I had to burn my hungry, unappeasable
furious spirit

so inconsolably into you

you would without cease
write to bring me rest.

Bring us rest. Guilt is fecund. I knew

nothing I made
myself had enough steel in it to survive.

I tried: I made beautiful
paintings, beautiful poems. Fluff. Garbage.

The inextricability of love and hate?

If I had merely made you
love me you could not have saved me.

— Frank Bidart, “The Ghost”
 

By Robert Lowell:
"The Ghost" by Robert Lowell


How Did the Rose Ever Open Its Heart?

17 Jan 2018 /
Last rose

How
Did the rose
Ever open its heart

And give this world
All its
Beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light
Against its
Being,

Otherwise,
We all remain

Too

Frightened

Hafez
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Love Both

2 Jan 2018 /


Notes on Existential Well-Being

16 Dec 2017 /

I’m taking an online class on existential well-being . . . posting some notes and thoughts:

Well-being implies physical health, comfort, pleasure.

It is also essential for human beings to have relationships with other people and to have a place in society.

We speak of personal well-being when a person is able to develop their talents and feel at peace with him or herself.

Beauty, compassion, truth, love — these are experiences of the “life force” or the “spirit.” In these spiritual experiences we transcend our limited self. We become part of something bigger and participate in universal qualities that nourish and enhance life.

We are conscious of the physical, the social, the personal and the spiritual dimensions of human experience. We make no hierarchy between these dimensions.

We recognize that human life is also characterized by suffering, pain and many limitations. We acknowledge that because of limitations, we are challenged to use our full potential to realize our physical, social, personal and spiritual existence in our given situation.


Crossing the Border

11 Nov 2017 /

It takes so little, so infinitely little, for a person to cross the border beyond which everything loses meaning: love, conviction, faith, history. Human life — and herein lies its secret — takes place in the immediate proximity of that border, even in direct contact with it; it is not miles away, but a fraction of an inch.


What’s So Funny ‘Bout Peace, Love and Understanding?

22 Oct 2017 /

As I walk through
This wicked world
Searchin’ for light in the darkness of insanity.
I ask myself
Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?


Your Dog Really Loves You

29 Sep 2017 /

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I’m in heaven now but I want to make sure you guys read this article about how your cat is just nice to you to get food but your dog really loves you.

I have my favorite blanket in heaven and my stuffed bear is here with me too!

— Lightning paw

P.S. I made up the part about cats, sorry.

still-life-with-pug

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One Thing I Can’t Tolerate is Intolerance

27 Jul 2017 /

One of my “progressive” Facebook friends posted:

I’ve always wondered why white people who use the defense “I have black friends” to defend their “I’m not a racist because” arguments, never seem to tag their supposed black friends. Where are they?

Fresh take! Now I’ve always wondered why some people think they have the moral authority and supernatural power to look into the hearts of others and label them racists.

I’m all about tolerance and love and anyone who doesn’t think the same way I do is a racist, sexist, homophobic Nazi!

We seem to be living in a time when the first person to call “racist” is ceded the moral high ground.

I’m not a racist because I called you a racist first!


Our Town

13 Jul 2017 /


And I can see the sun settin’ fast
And just like they say nothing good ever lasts
Well, go on now and kiss it goodbye but hold on to your lover
‘Cause your heart’s bound to die
Go on now and say goodbye to our town, to our town
Can’t you see the sun’s settin’ down on our town, on our town
Goodnight


Lightning, 2003-2017

1 Apr 2017 /

Lightning alert

Lightning sleepy

We got Lightning as a Xmas present for our boy in 2003.

Things we learn from dogs:

  • Unconditional love
  • Nothing lasts forever

Later in life, Lightning lost most of the use of his back legs. He had to drag them a little when he tried to walk. He couldn’t jump anymore and couldn’t go up or down the stairs but he never complained about that.

He also lost his eyesight. Never complained about that either. He never got sad or frustrated when he occasionally walked into a wall or a piece of furniture. He had a good mental map of the house and didn’t need or want help to get around.

Last year, the vet thought he might have a leaky heart valve but that turned out not to be the case. His heart was invincible all the way.

The only thing he ever got sad about was toward the end, he didn’t like to be alone. He whimpered if I was in the house and he couldn’t be wherever I was. He couldn’t be fooled on this. He could smell when I was anywhere in the house.

My wife and I were with him all the way to the end. I didn’t cry until afterwards.

Last meal: In-N-Out cheeseburger and a pup cup from Starbucks.

He would probably like to be remembered like this . . . a video of a family trip to the beach when we were all more or less in our prime . . .

RIP Lightning


In a Flash

11 Nov 2016 /

In a flash you could walk by your true love or miss your path in life, and you’d never have the chance to recover it . . .

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In Spite of Ourselves

9 Dec 2015 /
John Prine Live

She don’t like her eggs all runny
She thinks crossin’ her legs is funny
She looks down her nose at money
She gets it on like the Easter Bunny
She’s my baby I’m her honey
I’m never gonna let her go

He ain’t got laid in a month of Sundays
I caught him once and he was sniffin’ my undies
He ain’t too sharp but he gets things done
Drinks his beer like it’s oxygen
He’s my baby
And I’m his honey
Never gonna let him go

— John Prine, “In Spite of Ourselves”

What Parents Know

3 Nov 2015 /

Children grow up. Love is day by day. Letting go is not easy.


More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: People Married to Their Best Friend

20 Sep 2015 /
Rhett and Scarlett

It’s not very romantic, first of all. Did Romeo and Juliet marry their best friend? Did Liz and Dick marry their best friend? Did Scott and Zelda marry their best friend? Did Rhett and Scarlett marry their best friend?

A married person has to fill so many roles already: husband/wife, parent, sex partner, wage earner, handyman, cook, mental health professional, grammar coach, etc., etc., etc. A little help on the best friend front would be a welcome breath of fresh air.

I don’t know who my wife’s best friend is and I don’t care, as long as it’s not me. Men: if you need a best friend, buy a dog.


In every living thing there is the desire for love. — D.H. Lawrence


Love Conquers All . . .

30 Jun 2015 /

. . . including pleasure, peace, common sense, liberty and self-determination.


If You Love It So Much, Why Don’t You Marry It?

24 Jun 2015 /

Men and women can marry each other, men can marry men, women can marry women . . . someday it will be legal to marry the sound of your own voice because some people are really in love with the sound of their own voice.

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e e cummings wishes you a happy fathers day

21 Jun 2015 /

e. e. cummings

my father moved through dooms of love
through sames of am through haves of give,
singing each morning out of each night
my father moved through depths of height

this motionless forgetful where
turned at his glance to shining here;
that if (so timid air is firm)
under his eyes would stir and squirm

newly as from unburied which
floats the first who, his april touch
drove sleeping selves to swarm their fates
woke dreamers to their ghostly roots

and should some why completely weep
my father’s fingers brought her sleep:
vainly no smallest voice might cry
for he could feel the mountains grow.

Lifting the valleys of the sea
my father moved through griefs of joy;
praising a forehead called the moon
singing desire into begin

joy was his song and joy so pure
a heart of star by him could steer
and pure so now and now so yes
the wrists of twilight would rejoice

keen as midsummer’s keen beyond
conceiving mind of sun will stand,
so strictly (over utmost him
so hugely) stood my father’s dream

his flesh was flesh his blood was blood:
no hungry man but wished him food;
no cripple wouldn’t creep one mile
uphill to only see him smile.

Scorning the Pomp of must and shall
my father moved through dooms of feel;
his anger was as right as rain
his pity was as green as grain

septembering arms of year extend
less humbly wealth to foe and friend
than he to foolish and to wise
offered immeasurable is

proudly and (by octobering flame
beckoned) as earth will downward climb,
so naked for immortal work
his shoulders marched against the dark

his sorrow was as true as bread:
no liar looked him in the head;
if every friend became his foe
he’d laugh and build a world with snow.

My father moved through theys of we,
singing each new leaf out of each tree
(and every child was sure that spring
danced when she heard my father sing)

then let men kill which cannot share,
let blood and flesh be mud and mire,
scheming imagine, passion willed,
freedom a drug that’s bought and sold

giving to steal and cruel kind,
a heart to fear, to doubt a mind,
to differ a disease of same,
conform the pinnacle of am

though dull were all we taste as bright,
bitter all utterly things sweet,
maggoty minus and dumb death
all we inherit, all bequeath

and nothing quite so least as truth
—i say though hate were why men breathe—
because my Father lived his soul
love is the whole and more than all

— e.e. cummings, “my father moved through dooms of love”

Is Dignity an Obstacle to Success?

27 May 2015 /

Sometimes life requires that we take jobs below our station until we learn skills, offer apologies even when we are wronged, suck-up to power when necessary, work long hours when we “deserve” some rest, risk embarrassment in front of witnesses, risk failure and humiliation, and get rejected by the people we hope to love. In that sort of game, the player unburdened with human dignity usually wins.


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