EppsNet Archive: Music

Angel From Montgomery

12 Jan 2016 /

Just give me one thing, Lord
That I can hold on to
To believe in this livin’
Is just a hard way to go


A Problem Like Maria

30 Dec 2015 /
The Sound of Music

I’m an engineer. If you ask me to solve a problem like Maria, I’ll solve it.


Lover of Life, Singer of Songs

27 Dec 2015 /
Singer

I know the lyrics to a lot of songs . . . not current hits so much but if we’re listening to an oldies type of radio station, which we, the Epps family, are doing in the car right now, I pretty much know every song they play.

“I should be a singer,” I announce. “I would have a tremendous repertoire of songs.”

“But you can’t sing,” my son says.

“Hmmm . . . that’s a legitimate point that I don’t really have an answer for.”


In Spite of Ourselves

9 Dec 2015 /
John Prine Live

She don’t like her eggs all runny
She thinks crossin’ her legs is funny
She looks down her nose at money
She gets it on like the Easter Bunny
She’s my baby I’m her honey
I’m never gonna let her go

He ain’t got laid in a month of Sundays
I caught him once and he was sniffin’ my undies
He ain’t too sharp but he gets things done
Drinks his beer like it’s oxygen
He’s my baby
And I’m his honey
Never gonna let him go

— John Prine, “In Spite of Ourselves”

You Tell Me It’s the Institution

22 Nov 2015 /

Well, you know, you better free your mind instead . . .


The Sign Said, “You’ve Got to Have a Membership Card to Get Inside”

16 Nov 2015 /

Apeman

16 Oct 2015 /

I don’t feel safe in this world no more
I don’t want to die in a nuclear war
I want to sail away to a distant shore
And make like an ape man.


Time Passes and Love Fades

7 Oct 2015 /

Frankie Ford, 1939-2015

4 Oct 2015 /

I have a quote for you on that “One-Hit Wonder” thing. I’d like to go on record right here saying, whoever that disc jockey was that coined that phrase, well he’s a no-hit wonder! I mean, it can get rude. A DJ did that to me one time in his introduction. I turned to him and said, “Well, you’re a no-hit wonder. What have you ever done?” Some people have five records that sell a million each. Some sell none. I’ve had one that sold 30 million! And I’ve outlived that one record. I’ve been 38 years at this and it’s still going.

RIP, Frankie Ford


A Pug is Playing the Drums

22 Sep 2015 /

The Perfect Murder, Revisited

21 Sep 2015 /

Headline

Man hanging on branch

I have long maintained that the best way to kill someone and get away with it is to push them off a cliff. It’s simple, clean. no need to dispose of evidence, and reasonable doubt is almost assured.

It’s not totally foolproof however. Let’s look at where the defendant in this case went wrong:

Harold Henthorn scouted the remote area of the popular park 75 miles north of Denver nine times before bringing his wife with him. He was searching for the “perfect place to murder someone,” where there would be no witnesses and no chance of her surviving, prosecutor Suneeta Hazra said.

Don’t make nine trips to reconnoiter the scene of the crime. Don’t even make one trip. It’s both unnecessary and highly suspect.

Prosecutors argued the fatal fall was reminiscent of the death of Henthorn’s first wife, Sandra Lynn Henthorn, who was crushed when a car slipped off a jack while they were changing a flat tire in 1995 — several months after their 12th wedding anniversary. Henthorn has not been charged in that case, but police reopened the investigation after Toni Henthorn’s death.

Details of the earlier case dominated the trial. A paramedic who responded to the 1995 accident testified that Henthorn didn’t seem upset by what had happened, and an investigator said a shoe print found on the vehicle suggested it might have been pushed.

There’s a reason magicians never repeat the same trick. Just count yourself lucky for getting away with killing the first wife. A shoe print?! No . . . don’t kill any more wives.

Why was the first wife under the car to change a tire? I’ll lift the tire, honey, and you get under there and help me pull it on from the back. I would not want to explain that in a court of law.

 

She inherited a million bucks and when she died it came to me
I can’t help it if I’m lucky


The Ceiling Seems Very Low

10 Sep 2015 /

http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2015/09/10/codeorg-hadi-partovi-computer-science-back--school-kids-teachers-women-minorities/71905738/

I don’t know if this is good news or bad news. It would help to know what “trains” means but I read the article and it doesn’t say. Reporters need to be more inquisitive.

Can someone with no knowledge of computer science or programming be “trained” to teach computer science or programming? What would that entail? How long would it take?

Can someone who’s never played an instrument or listened to a piece of music be “trained” to teach a music class?

Can someone who’s never picked up a drawing pencil or visited a museum be “trained” to teach an art class?

Can someone who doesn’t speak Spanish be “trained” to teach a Spanish class?

The ceiling on any of these approaches seems very low compared to hiring actual programmers, musicians, artists and Spanish speakers . . .

Thus spoke The Programmer.


Abeyance

25 Aug 2015 /
Mirror

Photo by Siderola

Guess what, Dad and I finally figured out Pandora,
and after all those years of silence, our old music
fills the air. It fills the air, and somehow, here,
at this instant and for this instant only
—perhaps three bars—what I recall
equals all I feel, and I remember all the words.

— Rebecca Foust, “Abeyance”

Always Something to Learn

21 Jun 2015 /

When Pablo Casals was asked at age 93 why he continued to practice the cello three hours a day, he replied, “I’m beginning to notice some improvement.”


I rocked down to Electric Avenue but I can’t decide what to do next . . .

Posted by on 6 May 2015

Janis Joplin – Ball & Chain

14 Apr 2015 /

I can’t imagine anyone ever left a Janis Joplin concert thinking, “I didn’t get my money’s worth. She didn’t put anything into it.” That looks like Cass Elliot mouthing “oh my god” at the end . . .


Doing What I Wanted To

5 Apr 2015 /

I’m just doing what I wanted to and what feels right and not settling for bullshit and it worked. How can they be mad at that?

— Janis Joplin

Trains 2, Fitness Experts 0

20 Mar 2015 /

Two months after fitness expert and reality TV star Greg Plitt was killed by a Metrolink train in California, another personal trainer was struck and killed Tuesday in Georgia by a freight train.

Achilles Williams, 30, a popular Atlanta-area personal trainer, was skipping rope near the train tracks filming a YouTube workout video when he was sideswiped by a speeding freight train, a spokesperson at the Fulton County coroner’s office confirms to PEOPLE.


At the Piano Studio

5 Mar 2015 /

piano

There’s a new woman at the front desk tonight when I go in for my piano lesson . . .

“I need to pay for March,” I say.

“What is your child’s name?” she asks.

“Casey. But he’s not taking the lessons, I am.”

Tags:

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of

4 Mar 2015 /
  • Celebrities showing off their post-baby bodies
  • Anyone who asks for privacy by issuing a press release through their publicist
  • Anyone with a go-to karaoke song

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