EppsNet Archive: Parents

Thomas Jefferson on the Midterm Results

 

My fellow Americans – I thought Republicans would fare better than they did in the recent midterm elections. My reasoning was that Joe Biden and his administration have taken so much away from us that Americans would never vote to continue down the same path. Some of my readers may be financially well-to-do. If you fall into that group, I ask that you consider some of what I’m about to say from the perspective of the majority of your countrymen who live near, at or below the median level of income. Biden has taken away the ability to buy a tank of gas at an affordable price. the ability to buy groceries without gasping in shock at the total cost. the ability to retire comfortably. Retirement accounts have been drained due to the performance of the investment markets and inflation rates have gone through the roof. The ability to retire… Read more →

20 Things You Don’t Have to Apologize For

 

You Never Have to Apologize For… 1. Removing someone from your life that repeatedly crosses your boundaries. ~Bonnie Romano 2. Being who we are, and feeling our feelings. ~Courtney Redd-Boynton 3. Trusting your instincts, even if you can’t explain it. ~Kate Willette 4. We should never apologize if we’re not truly sorry. I don’t believe in apologizing because someone ‘demands’ an apology. ~Olga Baez Rivera 5. Quality “me” time (taking care of ourselves). ~Nath Ray 6. Your opinion—there is no right or wrong opinion, and there’d be a lot less arguments if more people could just respect and appreciate different insights. ~Jennifer Werner Mader 7. Standing up for what you believe in. ~Michelle Galyon-Stallings 8. Living life the way we choose to, regardless of fitting in with other people’s norms. ~Tanya Johns Emery 9. Making decisions about your own future that don’t do any harm to anyone. No one should… Read more →

Tom Brady, Gisele Bündchen File for Divorce

 

I may be ignorant about crucially important details obviously but it seems like the main problem from Ms. Bündchen’s point of view was that her husband had a job. First, I’m super against divorces for people with minor children. Second, there are just few if any people who are as physically attractive as Tom Brady, have the charisma of Tom Brady, have as much money as Tom Brady, and are as good at their job as Tom Brady. So if she’s thinking she’s going to upgrade her spouse, she’s almost certainly deluded or getting bad advice. On the other side, I can’t help thinking that Tom Brady would be able to choose from any number of fabulously attractive women to enliven his social life. Read more →

A Couple of Thoughts on Student Loan Debt

 

I’ve taken out mortgage loans, auto loans, acquired some credit card debt . . . am I forgetting anything? But I’ve never acquired debt and not paid it back. It never occurred to me to do that.   Transferring student loan debt seems like subsidizing irresponsibility. What happens when you subsidize something? You get more of it.   I saw the Secretary of Education being interviewed and although I don’t remember his exact words, he seemed to blame the whole thing on the COVID pandemic. He said it was his job (or the government’s job) to make sure that people can bounce back from that and not be crushed by their student loan payments. I’d like to ask him where he got the idea that it’s the job of the federal government to make sure that citizens don’t suffer financial hardships. In the early days of our country, many people… Read more →

More Words and Phrases I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Assigned at Birth

 

As in, “He was assigned male at birth.” It sounds like other options were available, doesn’t it? Like a child being assigned a name or a house at Hogwarts. Is there any plausible scenario where the child would be assigned anything other than male at birth? Suppose the doctor said, “I assign this child as female.” And then the parents freak out and say “Are you fucking nuts?! He’s not female, he’s got a cock.” “Hmmm,” says the doctor. “Well . . . you’ve got me there.” If it wasn’t so easy to determine the sex of a newborn at a glance — it doesn’t require a medical degree — you could go with a DNA test, since every cell in the human body is marked male or female. That never changes, no matter how many hormones you take or how many surgeries you have. It’s biological and permanent. In… Read more →

After School Drag Shows, What’s Next?

 

I have to chuckle when I see this picture, not just because the guy facing the camera is grotesque, but because my own son grew up in the Irvine school district, which is a very academically oriented district, especially in north Irvine (where we lived) and south Irvine, both predominantly Asian neighborhoods, and if an Irvine kid texted home a photo like this, there’d be a lynch mob in the district office by 3 p.m. the same day. The question on everyone’s lips would be “How is a drag show in a school gymnasium going to help my child get into a top university? Where does this go on the college application?” We all have our little peccadillos, sexual and otherwise. How exhibiting certain of these (though not others), e.g., cross-dressing, not only in public but in schools became a thing that people do is a mystery to me. Speaking… Read more →

And That’s the Truth: Don’t Say Gay

 

[And That’s the Truth is a feature by our guest blogger, Sojourner Truth– PE] Happy Pride Month, which reminds me I wanted to say something about that “Don’t Say Gay” bill in Florida. I never called it the “Don’t Say Gay” bill. Sometimes I called it the “Don’t Say You Ain’t Groomers and Pedophiles When You Obviously Is” bill. Or the “Don’t Fuck Around With My Chillen Behind My Back” bill. Well, my chillen is all growed up now, so I should call it the “Don’t Fuck Around With People’s Chillen Behind They Back” bill. Fuck around and find out, fuckers. Yo sex practices ain’t no interest to me and they sho ain’t no interest to a small child. And that’s the Truth! Read more →

Putting NYC on Blast

 

I’ll be in New York City visiting my son for a few days. His mom is coming along. She’s heard about anti-Asian violence (she’s Asian) in big cities so she’s packing a canister of pepper spray that she bought for $15. I hope the pepper spray comes with instructions so she doesn’t accidentally shoot it into my face or her own face. I’ll be helping out while perps are trying to recover from the pepper spray by side-kicking them into a row of garbage cans. (Do New Yorkers use garbage cans or just throw their trash on the street?) Anyway, if that doesn’t go viral, I don’t know what will. Read more →

It’s Time to Ban Things That Are Already Banned

 

My 4-year-old just FaceTimed to ask what I’m doing to “help the people in Buffalo” and “why did the bad man do this?” Absolutely gutting. This cannot be his normal. It’s time to BAN ASSAULT WEAPONS. #EndGunViolence — Rep. Eric Swalwell (@RepSwalwell) May 16, 2022 “Assault weapons” are already banned in New York. New York has every gun law you could possibly want, including a “red flag” law. Do you have a more serious suggestion than “It’s time to ban things that are already banned”? BTW, the replies to this dubious tweet are hilarious. A couple examples: In the middle of enjoying her after-dinner all-natural watermelon fruit bar popsicle, my 5-year-old leaned back in her chair, looked me dead in the eye and asked, “What will we ever do to escape this inflationary spiral in which this country currently finds itself.” I’m shook AF. — Will Stafford (@WillStaffordLSU) May 17,… Read more →

Democrats Love Protests — Unless . . .

 

Democrats love protests, unless you're a parent at a school board meeting, in which case you're gonna go on a terrorist watch list.https://t.co/dLOAKKt6pi — Paul Epps (@paulepps) May 14, 2022 Read more →

And That’s The Truth: You Can Get It If You Really Want

 

[And That’s the Truth is a feature by our guest blogger, Sojourner Truth — PE] I just seen a couple things. A contrast. One is Michelle Obama’s brother, Craig Robinson, and his white wife gettin their kids kicked outta school. Dependin who you listen to, the Robinsons was either providin helpful feedback to the school on assignments and teaching practices, or they was harassin and disrespectin the teachers and administrators to where the school had enough and kicked em out. How many kids at this school? A thousand? You gonna have a thousand sets of parents tellin the school how it’s gotta be run to their satisfaction? Or these two fools thinkin “Our brother-in-law was president of the U-nited States! We are people of unusual importance and you gonna do it the way we tell you to do it.” Just talk to your kids about the lessons at home. You… Read more →

I’m the Damn Paterfamilias!

 

He couldn’t have just turned off the set? Read more →

Who Should Decide What’s Being Taught in Schools?

 

Nikole Hannah-Jones: Parents shouldn't be in charge of their kids' schooling: "I don't really understand this idea that parents should decide what's being taught. I'm not a professional educator. I don't have a degree in social studies." Yet she wants the 1619 Project in schools. pic.twitter.com/UAjFTCvVmg — Steve Guest (@SteveGuest) December 26, 2021 You don’t understand the idea? OK, the stupidest way to make decisions is to put them in the hands of people with no skin in the game, who don’t pay any price for being wrong. “Educators” don’t lose one dime or one hour’s sleep if their bright ideas turn out to be disastrous for the child. Read more →

See You in Hell, Educators

 

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Greetings mortals! Even though an alarmingly high percentage of Americans think the sun orbits the earth, can’t find the Pacific Ocean on a map, half the residents of Detroit can’t read, rather than teach basic literacy, science or geography, K-12 public school teachers in the U.S. will be teaching “expanding” gender identities and “evolving” sexual orientations. This instruction will be informed by the National Sex Ed Standards: Core Content and Skills, K-12 (Second Edition) I included a link to it because you will not believe me when I tell you what’s in it. For example: BY THE END OF THE 5TH GRADE, STUDENTS SHOULD BE ABLE TO: Distinguish between sex assigned at birth and gender identity and explain how they may or may not differ. Define and explain differences between cisgender, transgender, gender nonbinary, gender expansive,… Read more →

That Is the Way to Get Attention

 

Divorces and separation — that is the way to get attention. Everyone examines his own state and some say: Strange, they were much happier than we are. There are streets in the East 90’s where youngish couples on the wave of success buy town houses and do them over at great expense, uncovering old wood, taking off the stoop so that drunks cannot loiter, making a whole floor for the children to be quiet on. The strain and the cost and the house, a mausoleum with both names on it waiting for the dates to be filled in, drives the couple to separation. The streets are called Death Row. — Elizabeth Hardwick, Sleepless Nights Read more →

Why People Are So Messed Up

 

When I was a kid, I had a cousin Kathy, who liked to eat meals one item at a time. For example, if she had what I had last night, which was salmon, spinach and brown rice, she’d eat all of the salmon, then all of the spinach, then all of the rice. Not necessarily in that order but you get the idea. Some adults in our family would get mad that she ate meals that way and would yell at her to stop doing it. Like, what difference could it possibly make to anyone in what order she eats portions of food? Mind your own goddamn business. Bad parenting is probably my hottest of hot buttons. Or as Philip Larkin used to say: They fuck you up, your mum and dad.     They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had     And add… Read more →

What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?

 

My son is visiting . . . we’re in a different place than the last time he visited so he asks, “What’s the wifi?” “PrettyFlyForAWifi,” I reply. “What is this, 2002?” “Don’t use it if you don’t want to.” Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: Affliction

 

Affliction is a sad, painful movie about “boys and men for thousands of years: boys who were beaten by their fathers, whose capacity for love and trust was crippled almost at birth, men whose best hope for connection with other human beings lay in detachment, as if life were over. It’s how we keep from destroying in turn our own children and terrorizing the women who have the misfortune to love us; how we absent ourselves from the tradition of male violence; how we decline the seduction of revenge.” The beatings, actually, are optional. I don’t remember my dad ever laying a hand on me but my parents were still able to send me into the world afflicted with crippling anxiety, depression and fear of failure. Not much happens in the world, in my opinion, that can’t be explained by good or bad parents. Rating: Director: Cast: IMDb rating: (… Read more →

And That’s the Truth: The Talk

 

[And That’s the Truth is a feature by our guest blogger, Sojourner Truth — PE] Man I am so tired of hearing about “the talk” that black parents supposed to have with their boys. What do they talk about? “Carry guns in your car, resist arrest, get into a fight with a cop, flee the scene of a crime”? That ain’t the same talk white parents give, which is you have an encounter with a cop, you say yes sir, no sir, follow directions, be deferential. Have your day in court if it comes to that. Cop tells you to stand on your head, then stand on your fuckin head. Don’t be some “I know my rights” wiseass. Resistin arrest is a damn poor survival tactic. You dont even need a talk for that. All you got to be is a person living in America to know that. Black boys… Read more →

And That’s the Truth: Jacob Blake

 

[And That’s the Truth is a feature by our guest blogger, Sojourner Truth– PE] I seen the Jacob Blake video from two or three different angles. From what I can tell, a neighbor called police, told them Blake shouldn’t be there, he took someone’s keys and wouldn’t give em back. One officer showed up, called for another officer, they called for more officers. They tried to arrest Blake, he wasn’t gonna have it. [Editor’s Note: Mr. Blake had an active arrest warrant related to charges of third-degree sexual assault, trespassing, and disorderly conduct, in connection with domestic abuse.] They tasered him, tried to physically subdue him, he gets up, walks around his car, opens the driver-side door and leans inside. What’s he got inside the car? I don’t know but I don’t aim to find out by having him pick it up and kill me with it. I got another… Read more →

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