Author Archive: Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson: On the Removal of My Statue From New York City Hall

 

My fellow Americans – On Monday, the New York City Public Design Commission unanimously voted to remove a statue of me from New York City Hall. The statue has been there for nearly a century and was originally created to celebrate religious liberty. The City Council’s black, Latino, and Asian caucus said that the statue “symbolizes the disgusting and racist basis on which America was founded.” May I make a humble request? I’d like my statue to be replaced by a statue of George Floyd robbing a pregnant woman. Pillars of social justice like Floyd are the types of people we should be honoring, not slave owners like myself or George Washington, who never did anything for anyone. Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: Why is President Biden So Unpopular?

 

My fellow Americans – According to White House press secretary Jen Psaki (whom I would nail so hard that whoever pulled me out would be named King of England), the COVID-19 pandemic is to blame for President Biden’s poor approval rating, which has fallen to a new low in recent polling. Point taken, but of course Biden and the Democrats campaigned on the pandemic being the fault of Trump and the Republicans, who failed to “follow the science.” And yet after nine months of glorious science-based leadership in Washington, here we are, no better off than before as far as I can see. Psaki also failed to mention the botch-up in Afghanistan, an unprecedented border crisis (including migrants coming in already infected with COVID), inflation, consecutive dismal job reports, and ongoing debt default brinksmanship. Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: Without Citing Any Evidence

 

My fellow Americans – I noticed during the Trump presidency that the press developed an affectation where they reported everything he said as “Trump said ‘blah blah blah,’ without citing any evidence.” [Emphasis is my own.] Why Trump was the only human being held to this standard was never clear to me, but I thought of it again this week and perhaps it’s time for a resurrection of “without citing any evidence.” For example, President Biden’s announcement of a victorious withdrawal from Afghanistan might have been better presented as “President Biden, without citing any evidence, called the American withdrawal from Afghanistan a success.” Or when the August jobs report was released, showing that the economy added a disappointing 235,000 jobs vs. an estimate of 720,000, to which the president responded “The Biden plan is working,” more meticulous reportage could have been “‘The Biden plan is working,’ said the president, without… Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: Afghanistan Withdrawal a “Victory”?

 

My fellow Americans – President Biden has declared our withdrawal from Afghanistan a success. With all due respect, has this man lost his fucking mind? Imagine King George in 1783 declaring the British withdrawal from America a success. Afghanistan was our longest war — 20 years — but it’s not like we were fighting World War II over there. There had not been a US combat fatality in a year and a half until Biden got 13 soldiers blown up, left at least hundreds of Americans stranded with no way out of the country, created a humanitarian crisis affecting tens of millions of people, has our allies around the world pissing themselves, has turned America into a global laughingstock, and his response is that what happened was inevitable, despite his previous promises that it was not inevitable. As one president to another, I say to Mr. Biden that when you… Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: Why Are Democratic Cities Such Disaster Areas?

 

My fellow Americans – A lot of people ask me, “Tom, why are Democrat-run cities such shitholes?” I was reminded of this by President Biden’s upcoming “soak the rich” tax plan. In my view, there are three Democratic philosophies that destroy American cities. For example, did you know that Detroit in 1950 was the richest city in America? Now it’s a wasteland where half the residents can’t even read. The first philosophy is that Democrats hate rich people because “they don’t pay their fair share.” What is their “fair share”? What is your “fair share” of what someone else has worked for? I would suggest it’s nothing, but Democrats enact punitive tax rates on the most productive people, who then leave town and go somewhere else. The second philosophy is that Democrats hate business because corporate fat cats “don’t pay their fair share.” So they enact anti-business policies, the result… Read more →

Thomas Jefferson on Impeachment 2.0

 

My fellow Americans – I remind you that members of Congress are your employees, hired and paid by you, the American people, and that, as you know, they have decided to waste their time on a second impeachment proceeding, a charade for which, like the first impeachment, the outcome is known in advance, rather than to conduct more important business, which might include confirming cabinet appointments, COVID relief, or getting our children back in school. Think about any employer you’ve ever had and what the result would be if you said “I know you hired me and you’re paying me to do important work, but I’ve decided instead to just waste everyone’s time and money.” Read more →

Thomas Jefferson on Impeachment

 

My fellow Americans – Now that the dimwits in Congress have decided to run an impeachment trial on a president who is no longer in office, I suppose they could decide to impeach me, even though I am not only no longer in office but dead. The charges would likely relate to the fact that I was a slave owner. I don’t think it will happen though, given my approval rating vs. theirs. I actually have a monument in Washington, D.C., which certainly none of the current congressional fatheads will receive. Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: Snails, Coups and Fake News

 

My fellow Americans – I recently read that scientists at UCLA made snails “remember” things that never happened. Why am I not impressed? Snails?! We have fake news that makes people remember things that never happened. Remember the “attempted coup” at the U.S. Capitol last week? That never happened. That’s what the fake news called it: an “attempted coup.” What is a coup? Isn’t it overthrowing an existing government and replacing it with a new one? The government is not a building. It’s not a room. Stealing Nancy Pelosi’s lectern doesn’t make you the new leader of the country. It’s not that easy. We declared a coup in 1776. But we still had to fight a war for the next seven years to actually make it real. There was no coup or attempted coup at the U.S. Capitol. You just remember something that never happened. Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: Founding Principles

 

My fellow Americans – In the aftermath of the recent unrest at the U.S. Capitol, I’m unpleasantly surprised by how many people believe they understand our country’s founding principles but in fact have no idea what they’re talking about. Truth: The founding fathers were a bunch of bad-asses who were ready to overthrow the government because it put a tax on their breakfast beverage — and it wasn’t even coffee. The founders were determined to have their concerns addressed by an unresponsive government one way or another. (Just bitching on Twitter until you got banned wasn’t an option in those days.) Yes, we are too obsessed today with mindless entertainment and gadgetry to stage an actual revolution, but that is what we celebrate on July 4: the violent overthrow of an unresponsive government. Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: I’m Spinning In My Grave

 

My fellow Americans – I read a Rasmussen report stating that 47% of voters think the presidential election was stolen via fraudulent behavior by Democrats. You might say, well, those 47% are just the Republican losers, but the numbers include 30% of Democratic voters and 39% of independents. Huge: "How likely is it that Democrats stole votes or destroyed pro-Trump ballots in several states to ensure that Biden would win?" Democrats – 30% – 20% say Very Likely (VL)Unaffiliated – 39% – 29% say VLRepublicans – 75% – 61% say VLAll Voters – 47% – 36% say VL https://t.co/NMDryxyLzq pic.twitter.com/EblRuV2AXY — Rasmussen Reports (@Rasmussen_Poll) November 20, 2020 As I understand it, on election night, ballot counters in several states (WI, MI, PA) all got tired at the same time, sent Republicans home, then caught a second wind and found hundreds of thousands of Biden ballots. If you think of it… Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: It’s Not Over Till It’s Over

 

My fellow Americans – Call me crazy — Old Crazy Tom — but I still believe Donald Trump has a strong chance to overturn this election based on voter fraud. There are three prerequisites for a crime to take place: Motive, e.g., getting Hitler out of the White House. Opportunity, e.g., to lose ballots, to “find” ballots, to deliberately miscount ballots, to tamper with voting or vote-counting software, etc. A feeling that one can get away with it, or at least that it’s worth the risk. Numbers 1 and 2 are a slam dunk in this case. A lot of people would balk at number 3, but not everyone. Let’s dive a little deeper . . . Pennsylvania: I believe the Supreme Court has already instructed Pennsylvania to segregate ballots that came in late but were counted anyway. The obvious reason for that instruction is to retain the possibility of… Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: Why the Polls Are Wrong (Again)

 

My fellow Americans – The 2016 presidential election polls showing Hillary Clinton, the greatest candidate for any office in the history of candidates, with a 99 percent chance of winning were wrong, and the 2020 polls are wrong too, for the same reason which is . . . Ninety-plus percent of the news media is in the tank for the Democratic party. They don’t give you news, they give you the opinions they want you to have, and they hide anything they don’t want you to know. Hunter Biden? Never heard of him. A Cato Institute study found that 62 percent of Americans have political views they are afraid to share, including 77 percent of conservatives. There are a lot of “progressives” out there who’d like to see you dead if you’re not as loving as they are. Better to just keep your non-liberal opinions to yourself, including to pollsters.… Read more →

Read My Lips: No New Frackses

 

My fellow Americans – This Biden fellow is the biggest liar on two feet. I heard him on last night’s debate saying “I never said I oppose fracking.” “You said it on tape,” President Trump replied. “Show the tape!” Biden said angrily. “Put it on your website!” OK, first of all, here’s the tape: View this post on Instagram A post shared by President Donald J. Trump (@realdonaldtrump) on Oct 22, 2020 at 10:59pm PDT Second, Biden knows he said it, he knows he said it on tape . . . I’d seen the tapes many times myself. Why on God’s green earth would he stand there and not only lie about it but insist that his opponent produce a tape of him lying about it? It’s the most shameless thing I’ve ever seen! Given the audacity of it, do I believe he’s taken millions of dollars from foreign entities?… Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: Electoral Enthusiasm

 

My fellow Americans – I see a lot of enthusiasm on the part of people who want to vote against President Trump. I also see a lot of enthusiasm on the part of people who want to vote for President Trump. What I don’t see is even one person with any enthusiasm about voting for Joe Biden. I’d be more excited to vote for a tent pole than to vote for Biden. I’d be more excited to cast a vote for coronavirus than to vote for Biden. Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: You Don’t Need a Weatherman to Know Which Way the Electoral Wind is Blowing

 

My fellow Americans – Let me share with you something I read this morning: A new poll predicts a landslide victory for President Donald Trump this November. Trump leads Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden by 3 percentage points in the latest Democracy Institute/Sunday Express poll 48%-45%, with pollsters predicting Trump will rout Biden in delegates, 309-229, as the president holds a lead over the former vice president in the swing states of Florida, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin. — newsmax.com On Wednesday of this week, Joe Biden restated his support for peaceful protests but, crucially, for the first time, condemned the violence that has been going on for months under the banner of “protesting.” When a candidate changes his tune three quarters of the way through a race, it is not because he knows he holds a winning hand. It’s because the electoral ground is shifting beneath his feet. Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: Why Trump Won and Will Again

 

My fellow Americans – George Orwell — a Brit, yes, and a socialist to boot, but also a man who looks more prescient by the day — used to say that if liberty means anything at all, it means the ability to tell people things they do not want to hear. The main reason Trump won in 2016 (and will again) is this: Many Americans see the progressive left as thought police, telling them what they can and can’t talk about, what they can say, what they can think, what words they can use, and calling them racists and Nazis if they don’t fall in line. There is a deep, deep resentment of that in our country and Trump is the person most determined to push back on it. Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: Unity!

 

Donald Trump is the first president in my lifetime who does not try to unite the American people—does not even pretend to try. Instead, he tries to divide us. — Former Defense Secretary James Mattis My fellow Americans – That is the most ridiculous statement I’ve ever read about politics. The Democratic party platform, as I understand it, is: If you’re not white, you can’t make it in America because of racism. If you are white, you can’t make it because of One Percenters and Wall Street fat cats. If you’re a woman, you can’t make it because of sexism and misogyny. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. They’ve got race wars, class wars, culture wars, gender wars, all going on at the same time. It’s everybody against everybody. Unite us, indeed! Read more →

Joe Biden on Coronavirus, Ebola and (Not) Swine Flu

 

My fellow Americans – Another presidential election year is upon us! I saw one of the Democratic candidates, Sleepy Joe Biden, on the television talking about the current coronavirus outbreak with Jake Tapper, who asked him, “What, if anything, do you think you would be doing differently if you were president right now?” “I know what I would have done differently,” Biden exclaimed. “What we did in the Ebola crisis!” (The 2014-2016 Ebola outbreak was in Western Africa. The heroes of that story were the medical workers who actually went to Africa at the risk of their own lives to combat it.) Because Tapper, like the rest of the CNN punchinellos, is a Democratic water carrier, he refrained from expressing any astonishment regarding the irrelevance of the Ebola crisis, and also refrained from asking what would have been an obvious and good follow-up question: “According to the CDC, in the… Read more →

Thomas Jefferson on John McCain

 

My fellow Americans – Like President Trump, I was not invited to any of the John McCain memorial services, so I offer my final thoughts here. McCain’s service to his country while being held as a POW in Vietnam was admirable beyond measure. Because his father was commander of all U.S. forces in the Vietnam theater, the Vietnamese offered to release McCain, not as a gesture of mercy, but as a propaganda coup, and to show other POWs that members of the elite were willing to be treated preferentially. McCain stated that he would only accept the offer if every man captured before him was released as well. This enraged the Vietnamese, and McCain’s subsequent five years as a POW went very badly for him, as he doubtlessly knew they would. Liberals have been very kind to McCain this week because 1) he’s dead, and 2) he was an enemy… Read more →

“Why Do I Believe What I Believe?”

 

My fellow Americans – About 20 people showed up for Unite the Right last weekend. That would be a disappointing turnout for a pancake breakfast sponsored by the local softball league, let alone a national rally in Washington, DC. White supremacy is like the Flat Earth Society, not non-existent, but extremely marginal. It’s a boogeyman to scare people about things that are not real. A good question to ask is “Why do I believe what I believe?” For example, “Why do I believe in a resurgence of white supremacy when only 20 people in a nation of 300 million can be persuaded to show up at a rally?” Possible answers include “I saw it on the internet” or “I heard it on TV.” These are perhaps not good answers, in that they open us up to manipulation for political gain, financial gain, and increased readership and viewership. Read more →

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