EppsNet Archive: Work

By Way of Explanation

14 Aug 2014 /

Bed
I was yelling this morning and I scared the dog. I wasn’t angry at him or at anyone in the house, I was angry about a whole life insurance scam we got in the mail. (That’s redundant, isn’t it? “Whole life insurance scam”?)

Anyway, the dog got scared and crawled under the bed. His joints, especially in his back legs, are not too good anymore and once he got under the bed, he couldn’t get back out. I had to crawl under there myself, roll him on his side, which he didn’t like, and then slide him out.

That’s in case you’re wondering why I showed up late for work this morning looking like I just crawled out from under a bed . . .


The Softball Waivers

24 Jul 2014 /

Our company’s having an in-house softball game tonight, hosted at a field across the street at UC Irvine . . .

Three-Quarter Century Softball Team

Members of the Three-Quarter Century Softball Club: St. Petersburg, Florida (Photo credit: State Library and Archives of Florida)

That’s not our actual team in the picture, the difference being that the players in the picture look like they may have been athletes at one time.

I’m not playing because I have a piano lesson tonight. (Actually, I wouldn’t have played anyway because I can no longer do things like run and see that used to serve me so well on the diamond all those years ago. But the piano lesson is a convenient excuse.)

Everyone who is playing had to sign a waiver provided by UCI. Good move. Company softball games are rife with injuries. I picture a scenario like this:

Dear UCI Parents,

We regret that your students are not able to graduate on time, but as you know, we’ve had to cut back drastically on our course offerings since the infamous softball lawsuit of 2014.


How to Not Cry at Work

24 Jul 2014 /
Top LinkedIn posts

The most read post on LinkedIn today is “How To Not Cry At Work” with (as I write this) 241,549 views.

The second most read post — and a very distant second with 101,906 views — is “It’s time to stop using recruiting agencies.”

That can’t be good. What does it say about the American workplace that the most pressing issue is how to avoid crying?


More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Great West Retirement Services

6 Jul 2014 /

Because I changed jobs recently, I want to roll over a 401k into an IRA. I filled out the form, mailed it in to Great West Retirement Services — they manage the 401k — and got this in return:

The enclosed benefit request is being returned for additional and or missing information. We require the following item(s) be completed before processing can take place:

  • Please have this request completed on the attached current version of the distribution form. The form this request was submitted on is now discontinued.

OK, first of all, the form isn’t being returned for additional or missing information. I filled out the form I was given and you’re telling me it’s now discontinued. You can’t figure it out anyway? You really need me to fill out ANOTHER 6-PAGE FORM with EXACTLY THE SAME INFORMATION in a slightly different format?!

And I love this part: “Please have this request completed . . .” I DON’T HAVE SOMEONE WHO COMPLETES FORMS FOR ME! I HAVE TO DO IT MYSELF, YOU FUCKING PRICKS!


Two Mediocrities Are Not Better Than One

23 Jun 2014 /

Effective executives rarely suffer from the delusion that two mediocrities achieve as much as one good man. They have learned that, as a rule, two mediocrities achieve even less than one mediocrity — they just get in each other’s way.

— Peter Drucker, The Effective Executive

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow

19 Jun 2014 /

I believe what I believe, and I have not yet believed a single thing only because it was believed by others, nor do I intend to. I can be grateful for this, at least: that I have kept myself. I have not once dressed up in a costume. There may be stronger consolations, but not many. Be that as it may, I cannot live differently than I do. Whatever the reasons for this, good or bad, they exist. Evidently that is enough. So, early tomorrow, I must get up again to do what I have done today. I will get up early to do this, and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, and there is nothing to discuss.

— Evan Connell, Mr. Bridge

Hard Deadlines

7 Jun 2014 /
Alarm Clock 3

Does saying “This task has to be done by Friday” increase the chances that the task will be done by Friday?

No, but it increases the chance that it won’t be done before Friday.

Better question: Why isn’t it done now?

Thus spoke The Programmer.


Limit Your Meeting Attendance

4 Jun 2014 /

If there’s any question as to whether your presence is required, compare your own goals to the meeting’s reason and decide whether the benefit of attending is greater than the benefit of doing something else. To make this decision, ask yourself two questions: “What’s in it for me?” and “What bad thing would happen if I pass on it?”

If the answer is close to “nothing” and “nothing,” find a reason not to attend.


Now We Can All Feel Good About Ourselves

18 May 2014 /
Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook

Sheryl Sandberg

Sheryl [Sandburg] wrote the homage or essay or ass-kissing-memo or whatever we are calling the Time 100 writings, about Beyonce. Sheryl talks about how Beyonce has changed the music industry. She’s a leader in song and dance and performance. But there’s exactly nothing surprising until Sheryl adds, “Beyonce does all this while being a full-time mother.”

In that little sentence, Sandberg does something very big. Sandberg declares that you can have a full-time job and be a full-time mother.

This is convenient. Because now Sandberg is a full-time mom who spends some days away from the kids signing autographs. And running Facebook. And Beyonce is a full-time mom who spends some days away from her daughter on billion-dollar concert tours. So basically anyone who gave birth is a full-time mom regardless of how much of their time is spent on kids. Now we can all feel good about ourselves regardless of our choices.


Time Management

9 May 2014 /

We had a time management seminar at the office today but I couldn’t find a way to fit it into my schedule.


The Surprising Benefits of Nonconformity

28 Mar 2014 /

New research finds that under certain circumstances, people wearing unconventional attire are perceived as having higher status and greater competence.


Forget About Female Leadership

22 Mar 2014 /

Everyone can shut up about “let’s get more women into leadership positions.” Because they don’t want leadership positions. Or they’d get them. Obviously. Women want to have time for their kids. And leaders – especially top-down leaders – dedicate their lives to their work. There won’t be female leadership and male leadership. There will be people who lead at home and people who lead at work. People will take ownership of outcomes for the areas of life they care most about.


How to Answer Stupid Job Interview Questions

15 Mar 2014 /

Via Liz Ryan


Some Links

26 Jan 2014 /

A Display of Interest, However Shallow

17 Dec 2013 /

He himself did not care what happened at the house during the day. There was no more reason for her to be curious about his work than for him to be concerned with the groceries, laundry, getting the children to school, and whatever else she did. Yet it would seem rude, almost brutal, to drop the pretense and admit that neither particularly cared what the other was doing. A display of interest, however shallow, made life easier.

— Evan Connell, Mr. Bridge

Friends Are Inconvenient

6 Dec 2013 /

Dilbert


Are Walmart Employees Underpaid?

30 Nov 2013 /

Attention, disgruntled Walmart employees! What does it mean to say you’re underpaid? Doesn’t it mean that there’s at least one other employer willing to pay you more than you make now?

If that’s the case, go work for another employer. If that’s not the case, then you’re not underpaid. You’re lucky to have the job you have.


Six Drucker Questions that Simplify a Complex Age

10 Nov 2013 /
Peter Drucker dies at 95

Peter Drucker

Via Harvard Business Review.

My personal favorite is “What would happen if this were not done at all?”


Cleaning on the Day Shift

15 Oct 2013 /
Cleaning

A couple of months ago, the cleaning staff at our office started working during the day, instead of after hours.

Whatever improvements were supposed to accrue from that have evidently not come to pass because starting next month, they’re going back to the night shift.

What I will miss most about having them around during the day is their impeccable sense of timing in closing the men’s room twice a day for cleaning at the precise moments that I urgently need to use it.


A Tradeoff

24 Aug 2013 /

Okay . . . but who would be raising our kids? Or is that not important?


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