EppsNet Archive: Television

And That’s the Truth: 93 Percent Peaceful

 

[And That’s the Truth is a feature by our guest blogger, Sojourner Truth– PE] Somebody put out a report sayin that 93% of Black Lives Matter protests in the US were peaceful. Now if’n you got a brain in yo head, you realize that statement don’t mean a goddamn thing. Fust off, what counts as a protest? One guy on a street corner with a sign. Is that a protest? Next thing, what is “peaceful”? I mean, I seen clowns on the TV telling me they at a “peaceful” protest and there’s a big fire goin on behind em. So I dont know what a protest is and I dont know what “peaceful” is but even if I take the numbers they give me, 7 percent is 617 riots in 220 cities. Man, I bet Hitler is in Hell right now going “Why didn’t I think of this? Hey, I… Read more →

Biden Is Not Available

 

Fox’s Chris Wallace: "In our interview last week with President Trump, he questioned whether his opponent Joe Biden could handle a similar encounter. Well, we asked the Biden campaign for an interview and they said the former VP was not available. We'll keep asking every week.” pic.twitter.com/5BIbp6dQ02 — TV News HQ (@TVNewsHQ) July 26, 2020 Read more →

People I Thought Were Dead

 

Mario Andretti, auto racer Leslie Caron, actress Jackie Mason, comedian Mitzi Gaynor, actress/singer/dancer Marla Gibbs, actress Bobby Goldsboro, singer Mikhail Gorbachev, General Secretary of the USSR Howard Hesseman, actor Sally Kellerman, actress Peter Lupus, actor Gavin MacLeod, actor Robert MacNeil, TV journalist Lee Meriweather, actress, former Miss America George Mitchell, U.S. Senator Jaye P. Morgan, singer/game show panelist Bill Moyers, journalist Charley Pride, singer Dean Stockwell, actor Fred Williamson, athlete/actor Read more →

Gimme Some Truth

 

I’m sick and tired of hearing things from Uptight short-sighted narrow-minded hypocrites All I want is the truth, just give me some truth I’m sick to death of seeing things from Tight-lipped condescending mama’s little chauvinists All I want is the truth, just give me some truth I’ve had enough of watching scenes from Schizophrenic egocentric paranoiac primadonnas All I want is the truth, just give me some truth — John Lennon, “Gimme Some Truth” Read more →

Keys to Marital Longevity

 

  Both partners should drink heavily and/or watch a lot of television. Get a dog. Read more →

People I Thought Were Dead

 

Earl Holliman, actor Sonny Jurgensen, football player Bill Mazeroski, baseball player Vera Miles, actress Pete Wilson, politician Read more →

See You in Hell, Charlize Theron

 

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Warmest greetings from Hell! I was leading a hot yoga class when Access Hollywood came on one of the TVs . . . they were raving about Charlize Theron as Mother of the Year if not Mother of All Time because her 3-year-old son announced “I’m not a boy” and this dingbat decided to roll with it and raise him as her “daughter.” Even a crackpot celebrity trying to make noise and draw attention to herself must realize that a 3-year-old has no conception of what “I’m not a boy” means. Right? Maybe he means he’s a space alien. Maybe next week he’ll decide he’s a golden retriever — then what? Put him on a leash and go for a walk? See you in Hell . . . Read more →

Stop Screwing Around and Cure Something!

 

A doctor asked me if I watch Game of Thrones . . . “No,” I said. “Shouldn’t you be spending your time reading medical journals instead of watching mindless entertainments?” I feel like this is what gives disease the upper hand, medical professionals wasting their time watching television shows. Stop screwing around and cure something! Read more →

Commercials That Don’t Fit the NFL Audience

 

These Verizon and Sprint commercials I see on NFL telecasts, where beta male milquetoasts dispense advice on cell phones, seem misdirected toward what I imagine to be the pro football-watching demographic. Also off target: the Dove for Men commercials where metrosexuals meet up to lament the demoisturizing effects of their skin care products. Read more →

Angelino Heights

 

The “Charmed” house: [ Scheerer House, Queen Anne cottage: Out of place amongst the Victorians: Heim House: Sessions House, 1889: The gardener said the house was used in a DiCaprio movie but didn’t know which one (Pretty sure it wasn’t Titanic.): The Michael Jackson “Thriller” house: Read more →

Dawn Wells is 80!?

 

Here’s some information that will ruin your day if not your entire life: Dawn Wells is 80 years old! Read more →

“Why Do I Believe What I Believe?”

 

My fellow Americans – About 20 people showed up for Unite the Right last weekend. That would be a disappointing turnout for a pancake breakfast sponsored by the local softball league, let alone a national rally in Washington, DC. White supremacy is like the Flat Earth Society, not non-existent, but extremely marginal. It’s a boogeyman to scare people about things that are not real. A good question to ask is “Why do I believe what I believe?” For example, “Why do I believe in a resurgence of white supremacy when only 20 people in a nation of 300 million can be persuaded to show up at a rally?” Possible answers include “I saw it on the internet” or “I heard it on TV.” These are perhaps not good answers, in that they open us up to manipulation for political gain, financial gain, and increased readership and viewership. Read more →

Walking in the Rain

 

I’m walking in a California spring rain . . . no umbrella, just like my caveman ancestors. Granted, cavemen couldn’t record their favorite TV shows and watch them at their leisure like we can, but they had a more authentic relationship with the natural world . . . Read more →

This is Where Your PDF Resume Will Take You

 

Received the following advice today: When applying for jobs, never send your resume in .docx format. Fonts don’t always get embedded and hiring managers cannot always open these files. Use PDF. Do we really want to work for managers who can’t open a Word doc? Imagine the world-class mentoring and career development you’re going to get from such a person. I mean, my wife can open Word docs no problem and she can’t even figure out how to turn on the TV. Thus spoke The Programmer. Read more →

A Man Combing His Hair in Public

 

A man in the men’s room at work this morning pulled out a comb and started combing his hair. No, it wasn’t Edd “Kookie” Burns. I mentioned this to a couple of co-workers, neither of whom found it striking, but I haven’t seen a man comb his hair in public since Happy Days went off the air . . . Read more →

People I Thought Were Dead

 

Herb Alpert – trumpeter Max Baer Jr. – actor, “The Beverly Hillbillies” Barbara Bain – actress, “Mission: Impossible” Brigitte Bardot – actress Rona Barrett – gossip columnist Frank Borman – astronaut Roy Clark – musician Roger Corman – film producer Robert Crumb – cartoonist Bill Daily – actor Vic Damone – singer Angie Dickinson – actress Annette and Cecile Dionne – quintuplets Sam Donaldson – TV newscaster Hugh Downs – TV announcer Daniel Ellsberg – released the Pentagon Papers Barbara Feldon – actress Fannie Flagg – actress and game show panelist Larry Flynt – publisher of Hustler Whitey Ford – baseball pitcher A.J. Foyt – auto racer Ron Gallela – celebrity photographer, aka “paparazzo” Whitey Herzog – baseball manager Ernest Hollings – U.S. senator Cloris Leachman – actress Tom Lehrer – musical satirist Jerry Lee Lewis – singer and pianist G. Gordon Liddy – Watergate mastermind Rich Little – impressionist Peter Max… Read more →

Who Will Be Left to Scold the Scolders?

 

Some of the questions Matt Lauer asked Bill O’Reilly during their Today Show interview on Sept. 19: [Your accusers] came forward and filed complaints against the biggest star at the network they worked at. Think of how intimidating that must have been, how nerve-racking that must have been! Doesn’t that tell you how strongly they felt about the way they were treated by you?   Over the last six months since your firing, have you done some soul searching? Have you done some self-reflection? And have you looked at the way you treated women that you think now or think about differently now than you did at the time?   You were probably the last guy in the world that they wanted to fire because you were the guy that the ratings and the revenues were built on, you carried that network on your shoulders for a lot of years.… Read more →

What’s So Funny ‘Bout Peace, Love and Understanding?

 

As I walk through This wicked world Searchin’ for light in the darkness of insanity. I ask myself Is all hope lost? Is there only pain and hatred, and misery? Read more →

The Victimized Media

 

In the age of Trump, it’s acceptable for reporters to claim they “never wanted to be part of the story,” while waiting in a green room to go on TV and talk about themselves. — Washington Examiner Read more →

Chuck Barris, 1929-2017

 

Chuck Barris was well ahead of his time in recognizing how many Americans are willing to make an ass of themselves on television. The quote below is from the movie based on his book Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. I don’t know if the quote is actually in the book but I include it here nonetheless . . . When you are young, your potential is infinite. You might do anything, really. You might be Einstein. You might be DiMaggio. Then you get to an age where what you might be gives way to what you have been. You weren’t Einstein. You weren’t anything. That’s a bad moment. RIP Chuck Barris Read more →

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