Author Archive: Lightning Epps

Your Dog Really Loves You

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I’m in heaven now but I want to make sure you guys read this article about how your cat is just nice to you to get food but your dog really loves you. I have my favorite blanket in heaven and my stuffed bear is here with me too! — Lightning P.S. I made up the part about cats, sorry. Read more →

Goodbye, Everybody

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! This is going to be my last post. I wish you all could have as happy a life as I did. I gave all the love I had and I got all of it back. Thanks for reading my blog. The first needle made me feel sleepy. All my memories are coming back now. I can see my mom and dad and my brothers and sisters. I can smell them. They’re all here now. Every moment I want I can live again. The 2nd needle. So sleepy. It’s like falling, but being wrapped and cozy too. I don’t need to breathe anymore. Goodbye, everybody . . . — Lightning Read more →

We Need to Get a Cat

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I told my owner that we need to get a cat. — Lightning Read more →

Pup Cups Don’t Need To Be Colorful

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! Starbucks gave me a pup cup today in a mini-Frappucino cup. My owner says it’s very colorful, but I can’t see anymore and dogs don’t see colors the same as humans anyway. I like the plain white cups better because they’re wider and it’s easier to get all the whipped cream out. — Lightning A photo posted by Paul Epps (@paulepps) on Jul 3, 2016 at 8:21pm PDT Read more →

Dogs Are Descended From Wolves

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! Did you know that dogs are descended from wolves? Wolves aren’t as big or strong as lions or tigers or bears but on the other hand you never see a wolf in the circus, do you? — Lightning Read more →

Happy National Pet Day

I took some selfies for Pet Day: — Lightning Read more →

I’ve Never Even Been to Chicago

This is not true, I’ve never even been to Chicago. — Lightning Read more →

Affinities Can Kill You

Boy, 9, mauled to death by dogs in Yuba County — The Sacramento Bee Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! This article says that a 9-year-old (in human years) boy was killed by 3 pit bulls that belonged to his older sister. It says that his sister has an affinity for pit bulls because she thinks that pit bulls are not dangerous even though a lot of people say they are dangerous and that is not fair to pit bulls. I don’t what an affinity is but it must be something that can kill you or your little brother. Wait — my owner says “affinity” means something you like, like he has an affinity for pugs and because he has an affinity for pugs, all of his family members are still alive. If you own a pit bull, you also need to have a pug to keep the pit bull in… Read more →

Merry Christmas, Starbucks

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I heard that some people don’t like the Starbucks Christmas cups this year. People are silly. My favorite Starbucks Christmas cup was the one with a dog on a sled but the contents of the cup, that’s the main thing. I don’t even mind that most of the time my pup cups have someone else’s name on them. Merry Christmas, Starbucks! — Lightning Read more →

I Can’t See Anymore But I Am Still Handsome

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I’m almost 84 years old now in dog years. I can’t see anymore and my joints are not too good but aging doesn’t dampen the spirits of pugs like it does with people. I can remember where things are in the house (unless someone moves them) so I can still walk around without bumping into a lot of things. The good thing is that I can sometimes smack into a door or a wall or a piece of furniture without affecting my handsome appearance because my face is flat already. — Lightning Read more →

I Don’t Know How Starbucks Stays in Business

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! On weekend mornings my owner goes to Starbucks and brings back a pup cup of whipped cream for me! Today I noticed on my cup that if I don’t love my pup cup they’ll make me another one for free! “The pup cups are always free,” my owner says. “You don’t have to tell them you didn’t love it to get a free one.” I don’t know how Starbucks stays in business if they’re giving away the most delicious stuff for free. — Lightning Read more →

I Will Show You How a Pug Eats an Ice Cream Cone

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! There’s a funny video of dogs eating ice cream on the internet: The puggle on the left is an embarrassment! What kind of dog eats ice cream like that? She would not last one day in the wild! Do beagles eat ice cream like that? I am old and I can’t even see anymore so if there’s something in front of me I can’t tell what size or shape it is but when I decide that it’s edible I CHOMP on it! — Lightning Read more →

Yes, I’m Ready for the Big Game!

People keep asking me, “Lightning, are you ready for the Big Game?” OF COURSE I’M READY FOR THE BIG GAME! Look at me … how could I be any more ready than I already am?! P.S. Wake me up if there are any pug commercials this year. — Lightning Read more →

I Can Still Eat

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! My owner bought each of us a chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A. He’s a fast eater but I ate my whole sandwich before he was even half way done with his! I’m very old now. I can hardly see, hear or walk. But my eating ability has not dropped off AT ALL! — Lightning Read more →

Did Robin Williams Have a Dog?

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I’m seeing a person named Robin Williams on TV a lot. He always seems excited and happy, like a puppy! It’s scaring people that he ended his own life. Dogs never end their own life, no matter what. You might think we couldn’t do that but we could run in front of a car or jump off a balcony, just to name a couple of things. I wonder if Robin Williams had a dog . . . My owner and I are getting old together. We can’t run like we used to, or see very well or hear very well. He’s sad about it sometimes but I think it helps people to see dogs trying our best in every situation. Everything is temporary. — Lightning Read more →

A Pug Story

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! My owner read me a story by Isaac Babel: And Mimka arrived too, curled up on the sofa and fell asleep at once. She was a terrible sleepy-head, but a wonderful dog, good-hearted, sensible, small and pretty. Mimka was a pug-dog. Her coat was light in colour. Even in old age she never grew fat or flabby, never put on weight, but remained shapely and slender. She lived with us a long time, from birth to death, the whole of her fifteen years’ doggy life, and loved us — quite plainly, and most of all Grandmother, who was stern and without mercy to anyone. What friends they were, silent and secretive, I shall tell another time. It is a very good, touching and tender story. Actually that was only part of the story but the rest was kind of boring and I don’t really remember… Read more →

Fear of Lightning

Yes! Especially if you’re a dog! Ordinarily, I’m very loving but I don’t put up with a lot of nonsense! — Lightning Read more →

Lightning’s 6 Keys to Marital Bliss

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! What does a dog know about marriage is what you are probably asking yourself. Well, I know about lighthearted enjoyment of life and overcoming negativity, and negativity is a big problem in human relationships. That is what I see. So here are my tips: Be positive and not negative. Remove all negativity. I have done this every day now for 10 years. You should start out and try for at least 30 days in a row. Show your partner every day that you love them and appreciate them. If your partner says or does something that you don’t understand, be curious about it and not judgmental. Make your partner feel completely safe around you. Have fun together. Be a predictable source of pleasure. — Lightning Read more →

We Named the Dog “Indiana”

Read more →

Snakes. Why’d it Have to Be Snakes?

Read more →

Next Page »