Author Archive: Satan

See You in Hell: Morgan Freeman Edition

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Greetings from the underworld! I was looking forward to reading the “shocking” allegations against Morgan Freeman . . . it turns out he likes to look at women’s breasts! WHAAAAT?! Men like to look at breasts, women like to look at breasts . . . and… Read more →

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] A woman was sucked out the window of a Southwest Airlines plane . . . not a black woman, fortunately, so Southwest won’t have to shut down for racial bias training. In other news, David Hogg is telling his Twitter followers to boycott the BlackRock and… Read more →

See You in Hell . . . if There Is a Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] John Lennon lyrics are now Catholic doctrine! See you in Hell! Read more →

See You in Hell: Rifles Have an Undeservedly Bad Reputation

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Greetings from the Lake of Fire! I was perusing the FBI data on murder weapons in the U.S. For 2016, what do you think was the most frequently employed murder weapon? Survey SAYS — handguns! The weapon of choice in 7,105 murders. I blame the NRA!… Read more →

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Heaven has gates, a wall and extreme vetting. Racist! See you in Hell . . . Read more →

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Pope Francis and Donald Trump were both vexed this past week by natives of shithole countries. The pope showed up in Chile to accuse local sex abuse victims of calumny against the church. “Calumny” means he’s calling them liars. Look it up. Oh that reminds me!… Read more →

See You in Hell: Cardinal Law

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Arrivederci Roma! This is a tough one . . . hypocrites go in the Eighth Circle with frauds, but rapists go into the Seventh Circle for the violent. Anyway, Cardinal Law says hi. How appropriate that he was able to die before the end of 2017,… Read more →

See You in Hell, Ed Lee

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Ed Lee was the mayor of San Francisco, a sanctuary city. My plan was to have Ed shot to death by an illegal alien but he outsmarted me by dying of a heart attack before I could put all the pieces together. See you in Hell… Read more →

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Happy Thanksgiving to all! Charlie Manson says hi. See you in Hell . . . Read more →

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] I’m old enough to remember when professional athletes took pride in their trash-talking abilities. Now they sound like a bunch of 5-year-olds: he made a face at me, he called me a name, boo hoo hoo! One day when you’re rotting with leprosy and stewing in… Read more →

See You in Hell: Tom Petty Update

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] He was standing at the gates here but he wouldn’t back down. Go figure. See you in Hell . . . Read more →

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] I thought what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? Hugh Hefner says hi. See you in Hell . . . Read more →

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Driving a vehicle into a crowd of people is the new black. Will the lane assist feature that comes with a lot of new vehicles help prevent this? It won’t? Oh well . . . See you in Hell . . . Read more →

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] I hate to say I told you so. See you in Hell . . . Read more →

See You in Hell: Robert E. Lee Edition

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Greetings from the underworld! I saw this on Facebook today: First of all, the temperature on that screencap — 81 degrees? That’s the temperature in Los Angeles. The temperature here in Hell is much hotter. Secondly, Americans are the fattest, dumbest people on the planet. Did… Read more →

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Along with pleas for money, almost 100 percent of the cardboard signs I see being held by people on freeway off-ramps and the like include the phrase “God Bless You.” There seems to be a correlation between belief in God and begging for money on off-ramps.… Read more →

See You in Hell: San Bernardino Edition

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] It’s hard to believe in a God who meddles in people’s lives . . . "We are a city full of hopeful optimists, who are still here and who will stay here because we believe God has something… Posted by Los Angeles Times on Friday, December 4,… Read more →

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] I’m hearing a lot of Orange County residents complaining about the heat this weekend. Take it from someone who knows about heat: 98 degrees is not heat. You’ll see what I’m talking about soon enough. Enjoy the 98-degree temperatures while you can. On a related note,… Read more →

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Greetings from the underworld! Friends have asked my opinion of the new Diablo hot sauce from Taco Bell . . . I love the name! You call that hot?! See you in Hell . . . Read more →

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Greetings from the underworld! I see that Pope Francis put a bee in Turkey’s bonnet a couple of weeks ago by calling the mass killing of Armenians in 1915 a genocide. According to the Turks, the Vatican should look to its own history before casting stones.… Read more →

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