EppsNet Archive: Bill Simmons

KO

You’re my worst case scenario for my career in 12 yrs: a pious, unlikable blowhard who lives alone. — Bill Simmons on Keith Olbermann Read more →

Twitter: 2010-02-04

RT @sportsguy33: To honor the Mike Dunleavy era, I just botched my drive-thru order at Arby's, then blamed House and the drive thru lady. # Read more →

Twitter: 2009-09-22

RT @sportsguy33: My postgame question 4 Tony Sparano: "Tony, that's one of the worst coaching jobs I've ever seen. I dont have a question." # When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it: http://bit.ly/rJ4kd # RT @diablocody: "I learned JavaScript, so my personal website is getting really dynamic." #1999IceBreakers # Read more →

Old School

I have to say, it has been nice to watch Griffey’s career unfold in an old-school, pre-PED way; instead of belting 57 homers at age 39, he’s barely hanging on to a job. It’s refreshing. It’s the human body doing what it’s supposed to do at that age: fail. Thanks for sucking, Ken Griffey Jr. And I mean that in a completely genuine way. I swear. — Bill Simmons Read more →

Twitter: 2009-07-08

RT @sportsguy33: "I'd like a non-fat decaf latte" is a fancy way of announcing, "I suck, don't ask me out." # Got a free smoothie for filling up my stamp card! All my hard work is finally coming to fruition! # Read more →

Twitter: 2009-07-05

RT @sportsguy33: The 4th of July is like one super-slow home run trot as the English stare us down from the mound. Suck it, England! # RT @presentationzen: A pie chart of procrastination http://post.ly/16VO # When the only tool you have is a suicide bomb, every problem looks like a jihad — Best of the Web Today # What a match! Unbelievable… # Why didn't God send the swine flu to the Atheist Kids camp? http://bit.ly/EQtfE # Read more →

Whatever Happened Five Minutes Ago

The whole “whatever happened five minutes ago was the biggest thing that ever happened” school of making sports arguments has to be one of the most annoying sports media trends of this decade. — Bill Simmons Amen, brother! As far as I can tell, sports media do three things: Make predictions. Second-guess coaches and game officials. Blow things out of proportion. None of which add to anyone’s understanding or enjoyment of the games . . . Read more →