EppsNet Archive: Lunch

Never a Dull Moment


“I can’t eat a big lunch because it makes me feel sluggish in the afternoon, you know what I mean?” “No.” “You never eat a big lunch then feel sluggish in the afternoon?” “No, my job is too exciting. Never a dull moment.” Read more →

Parsnip Puree


I hope there’s a special place in Hell for anyone who serves an unlabeled bowl of parsnip puree at a buffet. Parsnip puree, which I’d never heard of before today’s lunch buffet, is indistinguishable from mashed potatoes, until you dish up a big spoonful, take a bite and say “What the hell is wrong with these potatoes?” Read more →

Pushing the Avocado


The girl at Subway was really pushing the avocado today . . . the third time she asked someone, “Do you want anything else on your sandwich? Some avocado, maybe?” I asked her, “Does the avocado cost extra?” “Yes,” she said. “Do you want some?” “No, but I was thinking if it was free it would be a good deal. If I liked avocado.” Read more →

Twitter: 2010-08-06


RT @Jesus_M_Christ: When you see my face on a tortilla or a grilled cheese sandwich that means it’s my lunch, leave it alone. # Read more →

I Went to Juice It Up for Lunch


“I’ll have a Chai Tea smoothie with protein.” “Do you want vanilla or spicy?” the girl asked. “They both sound good. Can I do half and half?” “Uh, yeah. Nobody’s ever done that before.” “I’m pushing the envelope.” Read more →

Somebody Stop Me!


I went to Subway for lunch and ordered my sandwich in an Australian accent: “LEH-us, to-MAH-to . . .” Good times! Read more →