My son asks how I’m voting on Proposition 8, so I tell him, “I’m not sure I really care that much one way or the other. The amazing thing to me is that same-sex couples actually want to get married. If I hadn’t been allowed to get married, I could have avoided a lot of problems.

“On the other hand, if we get rid of the ‘one man, one woman’ requirement, I’m planning to turn the house into a polygamy compound with Lucy Liu and Scarlett Johanssen as my new wives.

“Bad choices,” he says.

“Who would you pick?”

“Jessica Biel.”

“Okay, we’ll get her too.”

You may be thinking “Nigeria Rules” now, dude, but wait till all 86 of your wives have PMS at the same time . . .