EppsNet Archive: Soda

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Chevron

I like the sodas at Chevron . . . they’re not restaurant quality, but they’re better than the flat, tasteless sodas you get at most other gas stations. On the downside, Chevron as often as not has some donate-a-buck-to-charity shakedown going on at the register. “Would you like to donate a dollar to CHOC?” the clerk asks as he rings up my soda. “No, but if Chevron wants to take a dollar out of the price of that soda and donate it, I’m okay with that.” If I want to donate to CHOC, I’ll donate to CHOC. If Chevron wants to donate to CHOC, let Chevron donate their own money to CHOC. Don’t strong-arm the customers into donating, then pat yourself on the back for your charitable activities. Read more →

Soda Sticker Shock in Seattle

Seattle is trying to discourage its citizens from drinking sugary beverages by imposing a 1.75-cent per ounce tax on all sugary drinks sold in the Emerald City. A $15.99 case of Gatorade at the Seattle Costco now has an added tax of more than $10. A case of Coke is now $7.35 more expensive than the Diet Coke or Coke Zero. Sticker shock! What will people drink instead of sugary beverages? Coffee. Seattle drinks a lot of coffee. Is coffee good for you? What if you put sugar in it? Beer. At these prices, it’s cheaper than soda. Diet soda. Are artificial sweeteners better for you than sugar? Fruit juice. Not taxed but contains a lot of sugar. Should there be a tax on all-you-can-eat buffets? How about a tax credit for eating a vegetable? Or maybe — just maybe — the tax code was not designed for and shouldn’t… Read more →

College Student Dumps Drink on Lakers Fans Who Sat for the National Anthem

I like to see kids taught not to do something just because other people are doing it . . . Read more →

Income Inequality Explained

I saw this sign at a gas station soda fountain . . . Read more →

A Brutally Honest Tagline

A Brutally Honest Tagline https://t.co/3hndnyEYTS #branding #startup #brand pic.twitter.com/r8KvhSR9Kt — Igor Naming Agency (@igornaming) March 16, 2016 Read more →

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Michael Bloomberg

Michael Bloomberg decides against run for president — CNN Money The only thing I know about Bloomberg’s political career is that he banned the sale of large cups of soda in New York. Forget that I think drinking large cups of soda is one of the great pleasures of life, anyone who can’t mind his own goddamn business a little better than that, anyone who considers himself entitled and qualified to tell people what to do with their lives at that kind of a micro level, should be beaten with sticks, not elected to public office. What would he do as president, institute a national bedtime? Read more →

Lesson Learned at the Drive-Thru

This Coke Zero I got at the Del Taco drive-thru tastes more like root beer than any other Coke Zero I’ve ever had. Possibly the guy in front of me or behind me is wondering right now why his root beer tastes like Coke Zero. Note to self: In future visits to fast food drive-thrus, take a sip of the drink before driving off with it. Read more →

The Day is Off to a Disappointing Start

After I already ordered and paid for my breakfast taco and extra large Diet Pepsi at Del Taco, the girl informs me that they’re out of extra large cups. “I can’t believe it,” she says. “And I already charged you for it!” “Hmmm . . . just give me a large then, if you have any large cups around.” “I’m so sorry. Next time you’re here, I’ll give you a free one.” “The extra large soda really holds the whole morning together for me.” “I know, I’m a big soda drinker myself. My boyfriend is too and so is my dad. He lives on extra large sodas.” “Drinking extra large sodas is one of the great pleasures of life, in my opinion.” “The large cup feels small in your hand, doesn’t it?” “It does. I like things that feel big in my hand.” Very disappointing. This never happens at Taco… Read more →

Regrets, I’ve Had a Few

I had three boxes of Coke Zero at the self-checkout. After I took each one out, scanned it and put it back in the cart, I realized that I could have just taken one box out and scanned it three times. Woulda, coulda, shoulda . . . Read more →

Aside

This Diet Pepsi tastes like paint thinner. If this is my last update ever, I love you guyzzz . . .

I Remember it Had a Yammy Aftertaste

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Living on the Edge

I’ve just poured myself a Diet Pepsi when my son announces that diet sodas are unhealthy. “They add things to the diet sodas so they’re even more unhealthy than regular sodas.” I ask him, “What do they add?” “I didn’t get that far into it,” he says, “The article started to get boring.” “In that case, I’m going to go ahead and drink this thing.” Read more →

A Couple of Tips on Bad Parenting

1. Give your son a fashionable name like Tanner, Braden or Travis. You can handicap a child for life with a goofy name. You can give him a sorry start from which he’ll never recover. By the way, you know what’s a good name? Paul. Paul is a name that’s stood the test of time. It dates back to the Bible . . . Tanner is not even a name. Braden is not a name. Travis is a name, but it’s a hillbilly name, like Zeke. If you’re tempted to name your boy Travis, go ahead and name him Zeke. 2. Use up your moral authority on things of no importance. I was in Subway this afternoon and heard a man telling his kids, “No soda. You’ve had too much soda lately.” It turns out by soda, he meant cola, because he let the kids fill up their drinks with… Read more →