I once killed an Italian man in a duel after he accused me of not understanding Dante. # Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Twitter
Twitter: 2011-01-23
RT @celebinrmonolog: 10-YEAR-OLD WILLOW SMITH: Yo, I've paid my dues! Now gimme my deserved stardom, bitches! # RT @theharryshearer: The voice of empire: “Get used to it, world. We’re not going to put up with nonsense.” Duane (Dewey) Clarridge. # Read more →
Twitter: 2011-01-22
RT @capricecrane: To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world. And to everyone else, you're just some asshole. # Pet peeve: People who pronounce -th as -f, as in "toof" or "boof" # Read more →
Twitter: 2011-01-21
RT @alaindebotton: It's always the scariest people who parade their kids around us to persuade us of their (elusive) humanity. # Read more →
Twitter: 2011-01-20
RT @MrsRupertPupkin: My cat tried to knock over my TV this morning. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING?! # Read more →
Twitter: 2011-01-07
RT @sockelganger: hello table hello rug hello lamp hello window i am lucky to have so many friends # Read more →
Twitter: 2011-01-04
Trying to teach my dog to yawn on command when I say "Sleepy?" Has anyone done this? # If a God has made this world, then I would not like to be the God; its misery and distress would break my heart. — Schopenhauer # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-12-22
RT @yoyoha: When technology finally makes me obsolete, I'm going to take a nice long nap. # RT @yoyoha: "I know you're not crazy" is a good thing to say to a crazy person. # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-12-18
RT @eddiepepitone: Greatest achievements- I once made a small lie into a crisis so big that I had to get plastic surgery done and relocate. # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-12-15
RT @kausmickey: The revolution will not be search-engine optimized! # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-12-11
RT @eddiepepitone: Folks remember: just because we are powerless doesn't mean we can't ruin our health and the lives of those close to us. # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-12-04
RT @eddiepepitone: Revised American dream- one day I will have a very small apartment and be out of jail on work release! # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-12-03
Always start off with what's the problem? http://bit.ly/38tweetables # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-11-22
RT @eddiepepitone: Eating blocks of cheese to fend off despair while the wife plots my death. It must be sunday. # RT @serafinowicz: "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died." # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-11-20
RT @eddiepepitone: when my shrink straps me in for electroshock therapy I know it's going to be a good day if the voltage is just right. # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-11-13
RT @AnnCoulter: My new invention: Men's underwear that makes your organ look huge in one of those new airport scanners. # Fun Fact: Spell check changes "eMetrics" to "emetics." # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-11-05
Sometimes homelessness is life's way of saying you need to lose some weight. # RT @pattonoswalt: Sit-ups! Make 'em a habit! #tweetyour16yearoldself # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-11-04
RT @fakerahmemanuel: Got a text from @speakerpelosi. She said she hasn't been fucked from this many angles since her freshman yr at Trinity. # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-11-02
RT @OnSluts: Monday Affirmation: I made it through Halloween without losing my teeth or my self respect. Well, kind of. # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-10-31
RT @theharryshearer: Is problem with modern politics not enough performance art–or too much? # Read more →