I Don’t Think I Would Be Allowed to Run a Store


The convenience store where I buy sodas in the morning has literally four signs at the entrance saying wear a face covering if you come in the store.

This morning a guy comes in with no face covering and a cup. The girl at the register says to him, “You can’t come in without a face covering.”

“I’m just going to get a cup of water,” he says. So there’s another problem, which is that nobody knows the provenance of that cup and he’s going to push it into a public water dispenser.

“You can’t be in here without a face covering,” the girl says a little more loudly.

“I said I’m just going to get a cup of water!” Which he does.

When I get to the register, I say to the girl, “I don’t think I could run a store because I would pick up the rifle that I keep behind the counter, stick it in that guy’s eyeball and say ‘I’m going to count backwards from two, and when I get to one, you better be out of the store. Thank you.”

“You’re going to kill a guy for not wearing a mask?!”

“No, not the mask. I don’t care if he wears a mask or doesn’t wear a mask or shoves a mask up his ass. I’m going to kill him for breaking the rules. That’s law and order, baby. Although I expect the deterrent effect would be enough to prevent the loss of life.”

The Last Words of the COVID Patient


This mask-wearing thing has really developed into a holy war . . .

People want to blame President Trump for virus deaths but there are a lot of people out here who aren’t going to be told what to do (e.g., wear a mask) based on what somebody else believes! This is America and that’s not the way things are done!

I don’t know a single healthcare professional who doesn’t advise wearing a mask, but for some reason every RV salesman and 7-11 clerk thinks they’re qualified to evaluate medical research.

“Do some flippen research,” they say.

I tell you what, I wouldn’t go to my doctor’s office for a Big Gulp, and I wouldn’t go to 7-11 for medical advice unless I was really tired of living and I’d rather be dead.

I wonder how many COVID patients’ last words were “The clerk at 7-11 said wearing masks is for suckers”?

How to Kill a Boycott


“I’m disappointed to see that this yogurt I’m eating is the official yogurt of the NFL. I’m not happy about it. Don’t like it.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I’m boycotting the NFL.”


“Too much bullshit.”

“You’ve never watched the NFL anyway.”

“Yeah, well don’t let that get around. It’ll dilute the impact of my boycott.”


Hey Google! Does Joe Biden Have Dementia?


Here’s a fun experiment you can try out yourself . . .

Pull up a Google search bar and type “does joe biden have dementia.” Of course you know Google has an autocomplete feature to fill in common searches. Here’s what happened when I started to type “does joe biden have dementia”:

Does Joe Biden have dementia?

According to Google, the top search starting with “does joe biden have” is “does joe biden have a dog”! Are people making decisions about presidential candidates based on whether or not they have a dog?!

Here’s the result when I type in the whole search phrase:

Does Joe Biden have dementia?

There’s no autocomplete at all! Apparently I’m the only person in the entire universe to enter the search phrase “does joe biden have dementia.”

Now switch search engines. I switched to DuckDuckGo and started typing the same search phrase. Here’s the result:

Does Joe Biden have dementia?

With DuckDuckGo, I only have to type three letters to get an autocomplete for “does joe biden have dementia”!

I’m not even sure what the right word is for what Google is doing here. “Dishonest” is not strong enough and I don’t think “sinister” is either. Maybe “corrupt” or “malignant.”

They buried that search. And there doesn’t seem to be anyone in the organization who cares or feels safe in saying “That is some bullshit right there and regardless of political persuasion, I’m not going to be part of it.”

Thus spoke The Programmer.

A Lot of Controversies Are Spoiled By a Guy Who Actually Know What He’s Talking About


I saw this headline today on theroot.com:

A Judge Asked Harvard to Find Out Why So Many Black People Were In Prison. They Could Only Find 1 Answer: Systemic Racism

The author of the article is someone named Michael Harriot, whose bio describes him as a “world-renowned wypipologist.” (Look it up.)

The section that caught my attention was where the author proposes and rejects other explanations for the number of black people in prison. An excerpt:

“White people make up roughly 74% of the Massachusetts population while accounting for 58.7% of cases in our data,” the study explained. “Meanwhile, Black people make up just 6.5% of the Massachusetts population and account for 17.1% of cases.”

Of course, that could only mean that Black people commit much more crime, right?


That’s it. No further explanation. No link to relevant data. Just “Nope.”

I added a comment to the article:

“Of course, that could only mean that Black people commit much more crime, right?


According to the FBI statistics, black citizens commit about half the murders in the United States (https://ucr.fbi.gov/crime-in-the-u.s/2016/crime-in-the-u.s.-2016/tables/expanded-homicide-data-table-3.xls).

Maybe Harvard could do a study on why there are so many men in prison. Systemic sexism, probably.

My comment went into moderation, from where it quickly disappeared completely. Throw a fact at these fools and you immediately become persona non grata.

My Boyhood Sports Icons Are Dying: Tom Seaver, Lou Brock


Tom Seaver Lou Brock

Would There Be No One to Remember


Did you suffer at the end
Would there be no one to remember
Did you banish all the old ghosts
With the terms of surrender
And could you hear me calling out your name
Well I guess that I will never know

Last night I dreamed about you
I dreamed that you were weeping
And your tears poured down like diamonds
For a love beyond all keeping
And you caught them one by one
In a million silk bandannas that I gave you long ago

— Emmylou Harris, “Michelangelo”

The Silence is the Voice of God


Our path is worn our feet are poorly shod
We lift up our prayer against the odds
And fear the silence is the voice of God, of God, of God

And we cry Hallelujah, Hallelujah, we cry Hallelujah

It is the heart that kills us in the end
Just one more old broken bone that cannot mend
As it was now and ever shall be amen, amen, amen

— Emmylou Harris, “The Pearl”

And That’s the Truth: 93 Percent Peaceful

Sojourner Truth

[And That’s the Truth is a feature by our guest blogger, Sojourner Truth– PE]

Somebody put out a report sayin that 93% of Black Lives Matter protests in the US were peaceful.

Now if’n you got a brain in yo head, you realize that statement don’t mean a goddamn thing.

Fust off, what counts as a protest? One guy on a street corner with a sign. Is that a protest?

Next thing, what is “peaceful”? I mean, I seen clowns on the TV telling me they at a “peaceful” protest and there’s a big fire goin on behind em.

Fiery But Mostly Peaceful

So I dont know what a protest is and I dont know what “peaceful” is but even if I take the numbers they give me, 7 percent is 617 riots in 220 cities.

Man, I bet Hitler is in Hell right now going “Why didn’t I think of this? Hey, I wasn’t a bad guy. Look at the percentage of people I didn’t kill.”

And that’s the Truth!

Traffic Stops and Swimming Pools

person about to dive on swimming pool
Photo by Emilio Garcia on Unsplash

We know that people can maintain an unshakable faith in any proposition, however absurd, when they are sustained by a community of like-minded believers.

—Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow

When I was younger (we’re all very well-behaved now 🙂 ), I had several friends and family members who had unpleasant run-ins with police, where they were cuffed or arrested or beaten, the common thread being not that they were black (they were all white), but they were all wise-asses who didn’t respect authority and couldn’t find it within themselves to be compliant to a police officer.

One day my 9th-grade gym teacher told us (again, all white boys) to be excessively polite to police officers — yes sir, no sir — have your day in court if it came to that, but better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

In my experience, the narrative that only black citizens have run-ins with cops and have no agency over whether the encounter escalates is quite wrong.

I say this as background to a conversation I had recently with a local lunatic regarding race . . .

“Are you scared of dying every time you get pulled over?” she asked. “And would you, without reservation, be a black person in America right now?”

“Good question . . . my family would be in for quite a shock. A ‘black person in America’ . . . who would I be? Barack Obama? Lebron James?

“There’s a model for being successful in America, even as a member of a marginalized group.

“On the traffic stop, I’ve heard that cops pull over black motorists just because they’re black, so I always wonder why they’re pulling me over. But I’m not scared of dying.”

“So your answer is no, whether you realize it or not. And every black American is scared of dying at a traffic stop. Every. Black. American.”

“Why? People of all races are killed at traffic stops.” I knew that introducing a fact would be the knockout blow. “And do you mind if I ask how many black Americans you talked to before reaching that conclusion?”

“I researched it as part of my PhD studies. I’ve seen Chris Rock on Comedians in Cars . . .”

“You did your PhD studies by watching comedy shows on TV?”

“I’ve read at least 7 books on the subject. I listen, I observe. I’ve read and listened to Donald Glover.”

“Aren’t all the people you’ve mentioned still alive? Maybe this ‘dying at traffic stops” thing is not a rational fear.”

“So if you want to say something stupid like ‘People of all races die at traffic stops’ . . . I’m not going to waste my time on white men who don’t want to learn anything.”

“What is your issue with ‘People of all races die at traffic stops’? It’s an indisputable fact that blows up the whole fake narrative. I’m a scientist. I deal with facts and rationality. You deal with anecdotes, emotion, urban legends, some kind of mind-reading trick that allows you to see inside the head of ‘every black American,’ and you assume that if anyone sees the world differently than you do, it’s because they have something to ‘learn.’

“You want to teach me something? How many Americans die annually at traffic stops, broken down by race?”

“I don’t know that. I’d have to look it up.”

“The number is about 100. It breaks down pretty evenly by race: 30 black, 30 white, 30 Hispanic. Only the black deaths make the news, but even without looking case by case at how many had open warrants, how many had weapons in the car, how many resisted arrest, the probability of being killed at a traffic stop is extremely low. It’s not a rational fear. It’s just something that’s pumped up by hustlers in exchange for money and votes from gullible people like you, and to advance an anti-cop agenda.

“I read a while back that about 50 people a year are struck by lightning. Are you scared of being struck by lightning? I’m not. It’s too rare. But it’s almost twice as common as a black motorist being killed at a traffic stop.”

“I can also tell you that about 100 black Americans a year die in swimming pool accidents. Can you peer into the minds of ‘every black American’ and tell me if they live in fear of swimming pools? 100 is still a very small number but it’s a far more common cause of death than traffic stops.

“Maybe we can defund the police and invest in swimming lessons.”

Biden Blames Trump For Riots Carried Out by People Who Hate Trump


Joe Biden has emerged from his basement to blame President Trump for riots carried out by people who hate President Trump.

Bear in mind that these are liberal groups, rioting in liberal cities, with liberal mayors, and liberal city councils, promoting radical liberal causes, and supported by liberal money.

Amidst sinking poll numbers, Joe, the media and others on the left have pivoted from months of “Violence? What violence?” to “Rioting is terrible but it’s all Trump’s fault.”

Fiery But Mostly Peaceful

There’s a Fine Line Between Comedy and Elder Abuse


Thomas Jefferson: Electoral Enthusiasm

Thomas Jefferson

My fellow Americans –

I see a lot of enthusiasm on the part of people who want to vote against President Trump.

I also see a lot of enthusiasm on the part of people who want to vote for President Trump.

What I don’t see is even one person with any enthusiasm about voting for Joe Biden.

I’d be more excited to vote for a tent pole than to vote for Biden. I’d be more excited to cast a vote for coronavirus than to vote for Biden.

Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson: You Don’t Need a Weatherman to Know Which Way the Electoral Wind is Blowing

Thomas Jefferson

My fellow Americans –

Let me share with you something I read this morning:

A new poll predicts a landslide victory for President Donald Trump this November.

Trump leads Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden by 3 percentage points in the latest Democracy Institute/Sunday Express poll 48%-45%, with pollsters predicting Trump will rout Biden in delegates, 309-229, as the president holds a lead over the former vice president in the swing states of Florida, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin.

On Wednesday of this week, Joe Biden restated his support for peaceful protests but, crucially, for the first time, condemned the violence that has been going on for months under the banner of “protesting.”

When a candidate changes his tune three quarters of the way through a race, it is not because he knows he holds a winning hand. It’s because the electoral ground is shifting beneath his feet.

Thomas Jefferson

I Blame Donald Trump


U of Alabama COVID cases

Former Socialists on Socialism


The RNC 2020 speaker who’s made the biggest impact on me thus far is Maximo Alvarez, a Florida businessman whose family fled Cuba when he was 13 years old. Here’s an excerpt:

I heard the promises of Fidel Castro. And I can never forget all those who grew up around me, who looked like me, who could have been me, who suffered and starved and died because they believed those empty promises. . . .

Those false promises — spread the wealth, free education, free healthcare, defund the police, trust a socialist state more than your family and community — they don’t sound radical to my ears. They sound familiar. . . .

But the country I was born in is gone – destroyed.

I may be Cuban born, but I am 100-percent American. This is the greatest country in the world. I said this before. If I gave away everything I have today, it would not equal 1 percent of what I was given when I came to this great country of ours: The gift of Freedom.

Many Americans now seem quite glib and sanguine about socialism, free this, free that, sharing all the good things of the land, etc. — but when you talk to someone who’s actually lived in a socialist country, they tell you that they couldn’t wait to get out.

Garry Kasparov, former world chess champion and former resident of the Soviet Union, contributed the following tweet to a discussion of socialism several years ago:

And That’s the Truth: Jacob Blake

Sojourner Truth

[And That’s the Truth is a feature by our guest blogger, Sojourner Truth– PE]

I seen the Jacob Blake video from two or three different angles. From what I can tell, a neighbor called police, told them Blake shouldn’t be there, he took someone’s keys and wouldn’t give em back.

One officer showed up, called for another officer, they called for more officers. They tried to arrest Blake, he wasn’t gonna have it. [Editor’s Note: Mr. Blake had an active arrest warrant related to charges of third-degree sexual assault, trespassing, and disorderly conduct, in connection with domestic abuse.]

They tasered him, tried to physically subdue him, he gets up, walks around his car, opens the driver-side door and leans inside.

What’s he got inside the car? I don’t know but I don’t aim to find out by having him pick it up and kill me with it.

I got another video for you. It’s pretty similar. Guy resisting arrest, gets tasered, physically subdued . . . the cops can’t get him into a position to get cuffs on him. Then they let him walk around his car, lean in the driver side, he pulls out a gun and starts shooting, then drives off.

And that’s why I ain’t lettin Blake get into that car. I’m sorry but I don’t care how many people take a knee, if one of us is gotta be killed then I prefer that it be him. His kids was in that car! What was his plan? Get in the car and speed off? That ain’t a good plan! He’s a danger to hisself, to those kids and everyone in the community.

I’ve heard black parents say they teach their boys to fear the cops. If they asked me, I’d say teach em not to abuse women, not to sexually assault women, not to resist arrest, have your day in court. Teach em it’s better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

And that’s the Truth!

I Blame Donald Trump


On this date, Aug. 24, in the year 79 A.D., an estimated 20,000 people died when Mount Vesuvius erupted, burying the Roman cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum in volcanic ash.

Pompeii and Mount Vesuvius
View of Pompeii and Mount Vesuvius

DNC 2020 Notes (So Far)

  • It’s too bad Barack Obama wasn’t president of the United States for 8 years because he would have been able to fix all these systemic problems he seems to think we have.
  • I get that convention speakers are expected to take shots at the incumbent but at some point don’t they have to address why Donald Trump’s tweets are more of a threat to our democracy than cities in flames, anarchy in the streets, looting, rioting and police departments being shut down?
  • I live in California. We’re currently having rolling blackouts in 100-degree heat, in part because we are increasing reliance on wind power, which is greeny-green-green but also unpredictable and unreliable. Our governor, Gavin Newsom, who can’t keep the lights on despite skyrocketing taxes, got a speaking slot at the convention (although fellow Californian Willie Brown did not) hand over mouth

Michelle Obama Fact-Checked by Associated Press


Michelle Obama Fact-Checked by Associated Press Over Kids and ‘Cages’ Remark

Surprising! Normally as a Democrat you really have to go off the rails to motivate a media organization to fact-check you.

“Trump used facilities that were built during the Obama-Biden administration to house children at the border. They are chain-link enclosures inside border facilities where migrants were temporarily housed, separated by sex and age,” AP fact-checkers said.

It noted that photos of children in housing centers that were circulated by Democratic officials online to criticize Trump were actually taken in 2014.

These pictures actually “depicted some of the thousands of unaccompanied children held by President Barack Obama,” AP said.

The “ripping migrant children from their parents and throwing them into cages” distortion was the most urgent issue in the world right up till the day everyone forgot about it, so why the AP is fact-checking it at this late date I do not know, but better late than never I guess . . .