My 14-year-old son informs me that he is not “wasting his years” the way I am . . .
“Is that what I’m doing?” I ask. “‘Wasting my years’? How am I wasting my years? Taking care of you?”
“My years are fully utilized and non-refundable,” he says.
“You’re a schmo.”
“Meanwhile, you’re wasting your years, calling people schmoes.”