Wasted Years

My 14-year-old son informs me that he is not “wasting his years” the way I am . . .

“Is that what I’m doing?” I ask. “‘Wasting my years’? How am I wasting my years? Taking care of you?”

“My years are fully utilized and non-refundable,” he says.

“You’re a schmo.”

“Meanwhile, you’re wasting your years, calling people schmoes.”

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