FATHER: Would you take out the trash please?
SON: Are you KIDDING?! I’m doing homework! I’ll take out the trash if you read To Kill a Mockingbird and tell me what each chapter is about.
FATHER: I’ve read To Kill a Mockingbird. You want to know what it’s about? ‘Racism is Bad.’ Now take out the garbage.
SON: Mom said my dinner was going to be ready by now and she hasn’t even started cooking it yet.
FATHER: You’re a big boy. Why don’t you make something yourself?
SON: I’m really not happy with the service I’m receiving here.
SON: So was Mom pretty horny when you first met her?
FATHER: Oh Jesus . . .