We’re having an extended family holiday get-together today, including a gift exchange.
My wife did the gift shopping. She’s passive-aggressive about it because she really believes that other family members, especially my mom, use the holidays to clean unwanted items out of their closets, wrap them up and give them to us as Christmas presents.
I’ve explained to her that these people simply don’t have any style or taste, so even those these are items that you would stuff in the back of a closet, they actually see them as pretty nice gifts.
Here’s a rundown on what she bought this year: My ex-sister-in-law is getting a box of Harry & David pears, normally $40 but obtained at a deep discount. My great uncle is getting a box of pears. My parents and my sister’s family — a box of pears.
“And the best thing,” she says, “is it says $39.99 right on the box.”
“I assume you’re going to take that off.”
“I don’t think I can. It’s right on the box.”
“Uh . . .”
“Don’t complain. Lucky enough they’re getting anything in this economy.”
This is Paul’s wife: Dear Friends and family, here I am at your request. This story is not true. (a lot of them are not true). Paul makes it up to make it more interesting. He is a writer and of course he has to make it fun to read.