Fat Guys on Planes

Kevin Smith

Make them pay for two seats. If they’re in a middle seat, make them pay for three seats.

Then let other passengers have those seats for free if they want them, keeping in mind that the fat guy is going to spill over into your seat, invading your personal space, pinning you in awkward positions and stabbing you with his bristling arm hair.

He may even listen to music on his iPod and do a little fat man dance in his — and your — seat, wobbling around like fat hairy jello.

But you’re flying for free! You still want it?

  1 comment for “Fat Guys on Planes

  1. PE
    PE
    19 Jul 2009 at 7:15 pm

    I sat next to a fat guy on a recent flight from Buffalo and I have to say that, while unpleasant, it doesn’t merit this level of intolerance.

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