Enjoying Life to the Fullest

FARGO — An eyewitness here says a Fourth of July fireworks accident decapitated a Fargo man Monday night. Police identified the victim as Jesse William Burley, a 41-year-old father of two, who enjoyed life to its fullest, said Burley’s stepfather Chuck Asplin of Fargo.

If by “enjoyed life to the fullest,” you mean “had no fucking sense.” He died doing what he loved — being a complete asshole.

Maybe I can’t say that I enjoy life to the fullest, but at least my head is still attached to my shoulders . . .

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