EppsNet Archive: Caprice Crane

Twitter: 2011-01-26


RT @yoyoha: Every woman has a tiny ball of hatred in her heart that is fed by the actions of everyone around them. # RT @capricecrane: Is there a “Your Kid Looks The Same As Yesterday” button on Facebook? # RT @yoyoha: I’m currently eating graham crackers in the shape of little bunnies. This can’t be helping my street cred. # Read more →

Twitter: 2011-01-22


RT @capricecrane: To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world. And to everyone else, you're just some asshole. # Pet peeve: People who pronounce -th as -f, as in "toof" or "boof" # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-10-29


RT @capricecrane: Every time I almost think humanity will be okay, I see someone struggle with the self-checkout for 20 minutes. # RT @serafinowicz: I have two eyebrows, but they're both over the same eye ":( # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-10-05


RT @BetteMidler: There is no big picture anymore. Just lots of little pictures of sex and violence and product placement. # RT @capricecrane: The thing about reality stars is they don’t get that we’re not laughing *with* them. # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-08-28


Amateur NC ghost hunter looking for ‘ghost train’ hit and killed by real train http://goo.gl/0TaL # “Bonus?! I thought we were all going to get *boners*.” — Disappointed office worker # RT @capricecrane: They say “don’t cut off your nose to spite your face” yet they don’t offer an alternative way to spite your face. # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-08-26


RT @eddiepepitone: Prophets of doom make 13 dollars an hour, life coaches 35 an hour. So who’s full of shit now? # RT @thesulk: “Who’s that actor?” “I don’t know, and I may never know.” (Watching TV Before the Internet) # RT @capricecrane: “Heidi Montag Wants Huge Breast Implants OUT.” She’s getting good at cutting giant boobs out of her life. # Related Articles Heidi Montag Regrets Breast Implants (mtv.com) Read more →

Twitter: 2010-08-21


RT @capricecrane: “Spencer Pratt Writing Tell-All About Ex Heidi Montag.” Chapter One: She marries a douchebag. # RT @TheOnion: Obama To Create 17 New Jobs By Resigning And Finally Opening That Restaurant http://onion.com/a0V23H # Related articles Spencer Pratt to write tell-all book about ex Heidi Montag, as if we don’t already know everything (popwatch.ew.com) Read more →

Twitter: 2010-07-15


RT @eddiepepitone: poor person- I think I am going to kill myself today. rich person- who am I going to kill today. # RT @capricecrane: They can't convict you if they can't hear you. That's why I only violently threaten my exes over an iPhone 4. # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-07-01


RT @capricecrane: MSNBC: "Up to 80 percent of women admit faking it." That is a good headline. So good. SOOO GOOOD. YES! # RT @eddiepepitone: Small town america is nice- a lot of obesity but everybody waves. # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-06-08


RT @capricecrane: Michael Keaton: "I'd do Beetlejuice 2 in a heartbeat." Adding: "Or Batman. Or your laundry. Can I get a ride?" # RT @DanNaturman: O.J. Simpson on Van der Sloot Confession – "Have I taught that boy nothing?" # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-04-21


RT @capricecrane: In every Red Lobster tank, there's one lobster who says: "You guys are so paranoid! It's great here! I love the view!" # RT @eddiepepitone: anyone can join twitter? just found this out. shit. I thought this was an exclusive club- no i.q. standards etc.. damn! # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-02-18


RT @capricecrane: So is this the Tiger Woods press conference where he decides who gets the final rose? # Four Ways of Looking at Twitter – Harvard Business Review: http://bit.ly/9TTYFi # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-01-21


RT @capricecrane: T.S. Eliot: "The world ends not with a bang, but a whimper." Sadly, so do most of my dates. # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-01-16


REG-GIE! REG-GIE! REG-GIE! # RT @capricecrane: Remember: It's not over till the fat lady sings. Or until you tell her she's fat. Then it's over. Except for the running. # Read more →

Twitter: 2009-12-31


RT @OCWeekly: OC Sheriff To Morons: Don't Fire Guns To Celebrate New Year – http://bit.ly/5SOwld # RT @capricecrane: I had that dream again where I was in school giving a report in class, naked. We really should've reported that teacher. # RT @KathySierra: Puppy pics enjoy a lifetime exemption from any and all so-called "rules" about stock photos and cliches. # Read more →

Twitter: 2009-12-18


RT @capricecrane: "Twitter" was the most used word of 2009. Numbers two and three were "I'm" and "broke." # RT @Aimee_B_Loved: Sometimes I drive between lanes and pretend my car is Pacman gobbling up the dashed lines. # RT @FakeAPStylebook: Use "can of whup-ass" only, as whup-ass is not sold in jars, squeeze tubes or resealable bags. # RT @RogervonOech: Never state a problem to yourself in the same terms as it was brought to you. [More at:] http://j.mp/cthirsh # RT @HarvardBiz: Government Health Care: Like the Postal Service? http://bit.ly/4IzozI # RT @capricecrane: I don't know how your car got dented. Maybe it's God saying you shouldn't have cut me off for that parking space. Or me. # RT @diablocody: Eating a gingerbread house for breakfast. A new low. # RT @capricecrane: According to Billboard: "Nickelback: 'Band of the decade.'" That's all. Enjoy the apocalypse. # RT @TheOnion: "Why do… Read more →

Twitter: 2009-12-10


RT @capricecrane: US Weekly: "Gosselin Kids Tell School There's No Santa." Really? Then who took your show off the air you little creeps? # Read more →

Twitter: 2009-11-12


RT @mashable Bill Gates’ Plan for Fixing the World http://bit.ly/4ABw03 # RT @SarahKSilverman: Sometimes when I'm by myself I say out loud, "BarTHelona" & giggle at that lispy accent they have. ah shit, I have fun. # RT @capricecrane: They say a lie gets around the world before the truth gets its pants on. Why the truth is pantsless, no one ever says. # User Story Mapping: modeling user stories for effective understanding of your system and planning incremental releases: http://bit.ly/1LQ17h # If my office gets one degree colder I'm going home… # Read more →

Twitter: 2009-11-04


To know what one really wants is not comparatively easy but one of the most difficult problems any human being has to solve. – Erich Fromm # RT @Aimee_B_Loved: Now that I have a job, I'm gonna make it DRIZZLE! *throws a stack of ones in the air*…can I please have those back now? # RT @capricecrane: Sean Penn's son was arrested at school for drugs. Chavez & Castro are reaching out to the principal for leniency. # Read more →

Twitter: 2009-10-07


RT @capricecrane: A Canadian man climbed into a tiger pit and was mauled. The tiger, when reached for comment…mauled that guy, too. # Read more →

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