EppsNet Archive: Cigarettes

Lose the Pastels and the Mopey Attitude

9 Jul 2015 /

Human of New York

  1. Americans love gay people. Since this photo has been posted, it has 60,000 shares, 60,000 comments (including presidential candidates) and 640,000 (that’s six hundred and forty thousand) likes. In the short time since the Supreme Court’s gay marriage ruling there’s been a national competition to see who can demonstrate the most elation about it. (OK, if you’re gay, a few bad apples will dislike you based on that alone but that’s true if you’re identifiable as a member of any group, which we all are.)
  2. I’m afraid about the future. I’m afraid people won’t like me. Leave out the part about being homosexual and you could post a picture of anyone. The percentage of Americans who can’t get through the day without medication — I’m including self-medication via alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, food, etc. — is a lot closer to 100 than it is to zero. Nobody’s life is a fairy tale, kid.
  3. How old is this boy? He looks about 10. Is he really old enough to have fully sussed out his own sexuality? Maybe he is but it seems far from certain.
  4. Find some role models, like Ellen and that Doogie Howser kid. Lose the pastels and the mopey attitude. Dress like a man and keep it peppy.

Doogie Howser   Ellen


The Best-Laid Plans . . .

15 Nov 2013 /
http://laist.com/2013/11/15/man_who_burned_to_death_at_weho_hal.php

As if any more evidence was needed that smoking is bad for your health.

Should I ever happen to kill myself while trying to perform a simple task — I’m trying not to, but if it does happen — please don’t publish a photo of me in a college hoodie.

Au revoir, professor!

UT alum


First They Came . . .

29 Sep 2010 /

I can make a firm pledge. Under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes.

— Barack Obama, Sept. 12, 2008

There must be some mistake then because I just got an email from our accounting department stating that effective January 1, 2011, over-the-counter drugs will require a doctor’s prescription when an FSA claim for reimbursement is submitted.

That doesn’t even make sense. Of course I don’t have a prescription for OTC drugs. Why would I pay a doctor to write me a prescription for something that I can just walk into Walgreen’s and buy it?

Hi Doc, I’ve got a terrible cold so I just stopped by to drop a $30 co-pay and get a prescription for some Nyquil.

And if I can no longer pay for ibuprofen, aspirin, cough/cold medication, etc., with pre-tax dollars through my FSA, that makes my taxes go up. Did I mention that I earn less than $250,000 a year?

They came first for the smokers with last April’s increase in the cigarette tax from 39 cents a pack to $1.01 (even for smokers making less than $250,000), and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a smoker.

Then they came for the tanners with the 10 percent tanning bed tax (no exemption for tanners making less than $250,000), and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a tanner.

Then they came for me and by that time no one was left to speak up . . .


Twitter: 2010-07-26

26 Jul 2010 /
Twitter
  • RT @joshcomers: May take up smoking again just as a way to get out of terrible indoor conversations. #

Promises, Promises

2 Apr 2009 /

WASHINGTON — One of President Barack Obama’s campaign pledges on taxes went up in puffs of smoke Wednesday.

The largest increase in tobacco taxes took effect despite Obama’s promise not to raise taxes of any kind on families earning under $250,000 or individuals under $200,000.

This is one tax that disproportionately affects the poor, who are more likely to smoke than the rich.


A Time to Worry

24 Dec 2008 /

It was a weird day for dog walking. Just after Lightning had a run-in with a rottweiler, who fortunately turned out to be docile, we came upon a young man and what looked like his mom walking a pit bull.

The woman said “Hold ‘im, Cody” to the kid in a chain-smoker voice and I veered Lightning in another direction.

I wasn’t taking any chances because they looked exactly like the kind of people who’d own a violent pit bull. You’ve got Ma, the chain-smoking meth addict, and her boy Cody, the kid with the white trash name.

Whenever I hear someone say “Hold ‘im, Cody” to a guy with a pit bull, I am outta there . . .