EppsNet

Hangintherejack.com has coupons for two free tacos, valid ONLY today — Tuesday, February 24, 2009 — from 12:00 a.m. to 11:59 p.m.

I know this because my son printed out a sheaf of them last night and asked me to take him to Jack in the Box at midnight for a bedtime taco snack.

When that idea sputtered, he laid out his plan for today as follows:

1. Drive through Jack in the Box on the way to school and get two free tacos for breakfast.
2. Drive through Jack in the Box on the way home from school. His mom will get two free tacos in the drive-through lane while he gets out of the car, goes inside and orders two more free tacos.
3. For dinner, repeat Step 2.

We’re on our way to Black Angus for a family lunch.

My wife is driving . . . she pulls a huge stack of coupons out of the glove compartment and hands them to our son in the back seat.

“Find the Black Angus coupon in there,” she says.

After a while, he says, “Why do we have ten 20% off coupons for Bed, Bath and Beyond?”

“Your job is to find the Black Angus coupon,” she says, “not to criticize people.”

I say, “If you combine all those coupons, they actually wind up paying you to take the merchandise out of the store.”

A while later, he says, “I can’t find a Black Angus coupon.”

I say, “Let me take a look.”

He hands me the coupon stack, which I look through and find it.

“Pwned,” I say. “Why couldn’t you find it?”

“It looks just like the Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons.”

“Do the Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons have a big picture of a steak on them?”

“It’s exactly the same size and the same cardboard and it was mixed in together with them.”

About this time, we pull into the empty parking lot in front of Black Angus to find out that they’re not open for lunch . . .