EppsNet Archive: Disease

Playlists for Pandemics

 

But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell I know right now you can’t tell But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see A different side of me I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired I know right now you don’t care But soon enough you’re gonna think of me And how I used to be — Matchbox Twenty, “Unwell” Read more →

We Need a Better Coronavirus Metric

 

The U.S. reports a record day of cases: 36,880 new coronavirus cases were reported on Wednesday, which is the largest one-day total since the start of the pandemic. Florida, Oklahoma, South Carolina and Texas reported their highest single-day totals. — Medium This is misleading, isn’t it? We’re doing more testing. It’s a lot easier to get tested than it used to be. You don’t need to have symptoms. You don’t need a doctor’s order. Pharmacies are now doing drive-thru testing. The CVS in my neighborhood takes testing appointments at 10-minute intervals from 9am to 5pm. And they’re not easy to get. People are booking them up. I just got my test yesterday (results next week). It sounds like from that 36,880 number that more people are being infected. It sounds like that is what’s being implied. But there’s really no way to know that from the data provided. Obviously if… Read more →

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Virus Preparation Critics

 

I’m hearing a lot of people questioning why our country wasn’t better prepared for the coronavirus pandemic. Which countries were prepared? Can you get me a list? Were you prepared for everything that’s happened in your life? You weren’t? Do you consider yourself inadequate? Were you prepared for tragedy? Who is prepared for the unimaginable? Read more →

Joe Biden on Coronavirus, Ebola and (Not) Swine Flu

 

My fellow Americans – Another presidential election year is upon us! I saw one of the Democratic candidates, Sleepy Joe Biden, on the television talking about the current coronavirus outbreak with Jake Tapper, who asked him, “What, if anything, do you think you would be doing differently if you were president right now?” “I know what I would have done differently,” Biden exclaimed. “What we did in the Ebola crisis!” (The 2014-2016 Ebola outbreak was in Western Africa. The heroes of that story were the medical workers who actually went to Africa at the risk of their own lives to combat it.) Because Tapper, like the rest of the CNN punchinellos, is a Democratic water carrier, he refrained from expressing any astonishment regarding the irrelevance of the Ebola crisis, and also refrained from asking what would have been an obvious and good follow-up question: “According to the CDC, in the… Read more →

Stop Screwing Around and Cure Something!

 

A doctor asked me if I watch Game of Thrones . . . “No,” I said. “Shouldn’t you be spending your time reading medical journals instead of watching mindless entertainments?” I feel like this is what gives disease the upper hand, medical professionals wasting their time watching television shows. Stop screwing around and cure something! Read more →

Spartans Are Overrated

 

Some of my work colleagues participated in a Spartan Race this past weekend, which seems like a good way to acquire a bacterial infection but to each his own. Slightly off-topic but Spartans didn’t fight very well and instead of fleeing, they let themselves all be killed by Persians . . . so I’ve always wondered why Spartans have become synonymous with positive qualities like commitment and toughness and resilience, instead of being remembered as milksops with cool headgear . . . Read more →

George Washington Died on this Day in 1799

 

On this date, Dec. 14, in 1799, George Washington, the American revolutionary leader and first president of the United States, died of acute laryngitis at his estate in Mount Vernon, Virginia. He was 67 years old. That is according to History.com. Acute laryngitis is not something that’s likely to kill you today but in 1799, medical “science” was still so medieval that doctors believed that diseases were caused by an imbalance of fluids in the body. In particular, they believed that fevers were caused by an excess of blood and they treated fevers by bleeding the patient. Not surprisingly, draining off almost half of Washington’s blood not only didn’t cure him, it probably killed him. The moral of that story is: When you don’t know what the heck you’re doing, just leave well enough alone. Read more →

See You in Hell, O Ye of Little Faith

 

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Greetings from the underworld! I was catching up on Facebook this morning and saw that a woman is going in for brain surgery and her family and friends are asking for prayers for her recovery. Isn’t that overkill — prayer and brain surgery? Why not just pray for her recovery and if she doesn’t make it, you chalk it up to God’s will? Some “true believer” religions, e.g., the Christian Science church, do that. They believe more in prayer than in medicine. They decline medical care because they believe that God can heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons, etc. as he did in the Bible. These are the folks you hear about when they come up on criminal charges after refusing medical care for their seriously ill children and the… Read more →

It’s Not That Hard to Be a Saint in the City

 

Pope John Paul II is being canonized this weekend because of 667,302 prayers for divine intervention, he miraculously answered two, years after he was already dead. What sort of evidence is required to certify that an earthly phenomenon was caused by a dead person? William of Occam would have pointed out that there are simpler explanations for a sick person getting well, e.g., The disease responded to treatment. The disease went into remission. The patient was misdiagnosed and did not really have the disease in the first place. I assure you that if 667,302 people with diagnosed medical ailments prayed to my dog, in at least two of those cases (and more likely, thousands), something unusual would happen. Years ago, a lower GI series revealed that I had a golf ball-sized (4 cm) tumor in my colon. The doctor did a colonoscopy a few days later and the tumor was… Read more →

Sick Day

 

A full day of sleep, systematic overdose of cold medicines, and phlegm reduction techniques (like hocking and nose blowing) that tend to be disruptive to people when practiced non-stop in the workplace can really help in battling a tough cold. It’s also a perfect excuse to close your eyes, curl up in a ball and hide from the world, which is my preferred leisure-time activity anyway . . . Read more →

Diagnosis Please

 

What disease is indicated when a fecal sample smells of menthol? I’m asking for whoever used the men’s room before me this morning . . . Read more →