EppsNet Archive: Dogs

DOGTV

 

I’ve got good news and bad news . . . The good news is there’s a new TV network just for dogs called DOGTV! The bad news is the only thing I like to watch on TV is hockey and DOGTV doesn’t have hockey. 🙁 — Lightning Read more →

Dog Talk

 

I know a lot about dogs. I can strike up a conversation with anyone, but only if they have a dog with them. Read more →

Happy Summer Solstice!

 

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! Happy Solstice! Wait — what?! It was yesterday? Well . . . Happy Belated Solstice! — Lightning Read more →

Memorial Day

 

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! It’s Memorial Day and I just wanted to say don’t forget dogs on Memorial Day because dogs also serve in the armed forces and sometimes they get killed but they also stop a lot of people from getting killed.   — Lightning Read more →

News Judgment

 

Dog bites man — not news. Gravy-wrestling model hit in the face with monkey wrench after finding friend having sex on her sofa — now THAT’S news! Read more →

It’s Not Easy Being a Dog

 

I’m taking a nap upstairs but I’m hearing noises from downstairs. When I hear a noise, I have to estimate how likely it is to be food-related, and how likely it is if I get up and go downstairs I’ll be able to get some of it. I can stay right here and snooze. That’s a sure thing. Or I can go downstairs and try to get some food. But if I get up and go downstairs and I don’t get any food, then a good nap has been spoiled. I have to do this estimation every time I hear a noise. Being a dog is not as easy as people think. — Lightning Read more →

At the Dog Park

 

A pug (not mine) is humping a beagle . . . “You could have puggles,” I suggest to one of the owners, “except they’re both boys.” Read more →

How to Make People Love You

 

Let everyone know that you’re really glad to see them. Stay positive. Don’t offer unsolicited advice. The next one is a little hard to explain. For example . . . in the morning, when my owner lets me out of my enclosure, instead of running to my food dish, I run and sit in front of the cupboard to say, “This is where the dog food is kept. Can I have some please?” So . . . Don’t take anything for granted. — Lightning Read more →

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