EppsNet Archive: Naps

Meditation

 

I’ve taken up meditation. Or rather I’ve taken to calling taking naps “meditation.” What’s the difference? You close your eyes, clear your mind . . . same goddamn thing. Read more →

Ovid Had Some Off Days

 

Ovid had some off days: "There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled." — Broethius (@Broethius) December 30, 2014 Read more →

Happy Mothers Day!

 

Hi Mom! It’s me, Lightning! Happy Mothers Day! Sometimes I wonder if you’re still alive. I know you could be, even though I’m almost 70 years old myself. Here’s a recent picture of me . . . I’m taking a lot of naps now that I’m older. Although come to think of it, I took a lot of naps when I was younger too! I can’t move my legs very well now — my back legs, mostly. They don’t hurt, but I can’t feel them very much and I can’t tell where they are. It’s funny that I used to be the fastest pug and now I’m the slowest. I remember you told me that dogs teach people about two things: Unconditional love, and Nothing lasts forever. Everything ends so don’t take anything for granted, even for one day. If you don’t hear from me next Mothers Day, it’s not… Read more →

It’s Not Easy Being a Dog

 

I’m taking a nap upstairs but I’m hearing noises from downstairs. When I hear a noise, I have to estimate how likely it is to be food-related, and how likely it is if I get up and go downstairs I’ll be able to get some of it. I can stay right here and snooze. That’s a sure thing. Or I can go downstairs and try to get some food. But if I get up and go downstairs and I don’t get any food, then a good nap has been spoiled. I have to do this estimation every time I hear a noise. Being a dog is not as easy as people think. — Lightning Read more →

My Kid Needs to Learn to Set an Alarm Clock

 

“I’m taking a nap,” the boy says. “I need to wake up at five.” “Okay,” I reply. “Five o’clock,” he says. “Okay.” “What time do I need to wake up?” “Five.” “That’s right.” Read more →

Twitter: 2010-12-22

 

RT @yoyoha: When technology finally makes me obsolete, I'm going to take a nice long nap. # RT @yoyoha: "I know you're not crazy" is a good thing to say to a crazy person. # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-10-26

 

RT @SarahKSilverman: I’m starting a campaign called Naps for Jesus. So basically every time I take a nap, it’ll be for Jesus. #napsforjesus # RT @eddiepepitone: Make no mistakes I tell very small children! Be perfect! Life is like a bank heist! Then I walk away crying. # RT @eddiepepitone: I always strike out at the weakest person in my prayer circle but I make up for it by bringing delicious baked goods. # RT @MrsRupertPupkin: A good way to spend the day is to repeatedly track the shipping status on recent Amazon or Zappos orders. # RT @kausmickey: Chevy: You already bought it! #betterchevyslogans # Read more →