EppsNet Archive: Pie in the Face

Teen Solicits Clown to Kill Teacher


Originally she just wanted a pie in the face but the clown upsold her. “For another $50 I can use a FROZEN pie and kill her!” Read more →

I Have Some Fundraising Ideas


My son’s roller hockey team is going to Toronto in July for NARCh. We’re batting around fundraising ideas to help defray the cost of the trip. How about an old-fashioned kissing booth? Kiss a hockey mom for $10! Or a pie toss! Throw a pie in the face of a hockey mom for $10! Better yet — dealer’s choice! Kiss a hockey mom or throw a pie in her face — $10. And we’ll throw in a package deal: A kiss and a pie — in either order! — for only $15! Surprisingly, only one of the moms thinks this is a good idea . . . Read more →

Thanksgiving Pies


Pumpkin pie is my favorite Thanksgiving food, but for throwing in someone’s face, a cream pie becomes the preferred choice. The reason I mention that is that at the Thanksgiving family get-together, one of my nieces, age 19 or 20, announced that she’s always wanted to take a pie in the face. My ex-sister-in-law was more than happy to oblige and immediately started looking around to see what was available. Now a pretty girl taking a pie in the face is not only hilarious, it’s also — dare I say it — kinda hot. Am I right? So it was a real disappointment to find that the only pies available were mince, apple and pumpkin. No cream pies. Well, maybe next year . . . Read more →