EppsNet Archive: Snails

Thomas Jefferson: Snails, Coups and Fake News

 

My fellow Americans – I recently read that scientists at UCLA made snails “remember” things that never happened. Why am I not impressed? Snails?! We have fake news that makes people remember things that never happened. Remember the “attempted coup” at the U.S. Capitol last week? That never happened. That’s what the fake news called it: an “attempted coup.” What is a coup? Isn’t it overthrowing an existing government and replacing it with a new one? The government is not a building. It’s not a room. Stealing Nancy Pelosi’s lectern doesn’t make you the new leader of the country. It’s not that easy. We declared a coup in 1776. But we still had to fight a war for the next seven years to actually make it real. There was no coup or attempted coup at the U.S. Capitol. You just remember something that never happened. Read more →

I Love This Joke

 

A guy is sitting on his sofa when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and THROWS it as far as he can. Three years later — the same guy hears a knock at the door. He opens it and the snail says, “What was that all about?” I love this joke because, if you’re like me, you identify with the snail’s perseverance in the face of inexplicable setbacks . . . Read more →