EppsNet Archive: Soft Drinks

Monday Night at the Chevron

20 Mar 2017 /
Chevron

I like the sodas at Chevron . . . they’re not restaurant quality, but they’re better than the flat, tasteless sodas you get at most other gas stations.

On the downside, Chevron as often as not has some donate-a-buck-to-charity shakedown going on at the register. Today the place is plastered with photos of bald children with brave smiles on their faces . . .

“Would you like to donate to St. Jude pediatric cancer research?” the clerk asks.

“I already donated two dollars last week and they haven’t cured it yet?”

 

Meanwhile, I notice another employee plucking all the hot dogs off the rotisserie with a pair of tongs and dropping them in a trash can . . .

“You have to throw those out if they sit too long?” I ask the clerk.

“Yes.”

“Do you ever pluck a couple off and eat them if you’re hungry?”

“No,” he says, with the kind of look someone would give you if you asked them to eat something inedible . . .


More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of

3 Jan 2015 /

Larry Culpepper


How to Tell if Your Food Server is a Robot

1 Jan 2015 /

I’ve been reading some articles recently about increased use of robots in the food service industry. I think we had a robot server the other day at the Jack in the Box drive-thru. My boy ordered a medium Mountain Dew with his meal and I ordered a large Coke Zero with mine.

“Which one is the Mountain Dew” I asked the woman (robot) at the window as she handed us the drinks.

“The medium one,” she said.

Only a robot would answer the question that way. A human would say “The yellow one.” Because it’s a dopey question and a human recognizes why it’s a dopey question and answers accordingly. The robot only knows that the medium drink is the Mountain Dew and the large drink is the Coke Zero.

Girls at table with robot


Soft Drinks

14 Sep 2009 /

It seems like there always someone trying to put a damper on my enjoyment of super-size soft drinks . . .

“Soda is bad for your brain,” my son says. “The brain is mostly water and soda dehydrates it.”

“How does soda dehydrate my brain,” I ask, “considering that soda is mostly water?”

“I don’t have all the facts on that,” he says. So at least he’s honest.

“If you don’t mind,” I say, “I’m going to keep drinking the sodas until you have them.”


False Advertising

14 Sep 2009 /

There’s a sign in the Taco Bell/KFC drive-thru advertising a “Value Drink” for 99 cents. It looks like a pretty sweet deal because the cup is at least three feet tall.

“How big is the Value Drink?” I ask the drive-thru voice.

“16 ounces,” she says.

“Really? It looks a lot bigger than that on the sign.”

“It’s a trick,” she says. “That’s not the actual size.”

“In that case,” I say, “just give me a large Diet Pepsi.”