“I’m still mad at the former guy for killing 500,000 of us. Anybody else feel the same way?” “I’m actually mad that he kept you alive. Also, there are 3 million global COVID deaths. Who are you mad at about those? Also, aren’t you from Toronto? What do you mean by ‘us’?” “I mean human beings.” “If you care about human beings, then why are you using the 500,000 number instead of 3 million? I get it, you didn’t like Trump. He’s gone. Why are you still spouting the same low-IQ bullshit? Move on already.” Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Toronto
Where I’m Coming From
After a visit to the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto, we stopped by a Subway where an Asian woman with a strange accent made our sandwiches. “Have you been to the Hockey Hall of Fame up the street there?” I asked her. No answer. “It’s great!” I said. “We came all the way from California to see it.” “I came from Buffalo,” she said. “Really? Where’d you come from before Buffalo?” I asked. “I saw Niagara Falls,” she said. Read more →
Downtown Toronto
Downtown Toronto looks pretty much like downtown anywhere else, but it is the first place I’ve ever seen a street performer playing a set of bagpipes . . . Read more →
Toronto in July
We’re off to Toronto for a week for NARCh. I wonder what the weather’s like in Toronto in July. At least there won’t be thunderstorms every day like the NARCh tournaments we went to in Florida. Let me check the forecast . . . Read more →
Team A vs. Team B
My son and I are leaving Wednesday night for Toronto where his 16-and-under team, the Devil Dogs, is playing in the NARCh roller hockey tournament. Do the Dogs have a chance to contend? Short answer: I don’t know. That’s why they play the games. Longer answer: They’re in a round-robin bracket with teams from New York, Canada and two teams from Michigan. If you get through the round-robin games and into the single-elimination rounds, anything can happen. Let’s say Team A is good enough to beat Team B 9 games out of 10, or even 99 games out of 100. There’s still that one game that Team B wins, and in single elimination, that’s all you need. Whether that’s good news or bad news depends on whether you’re Team A or Team B. Read more →
I Have Some Fundraising Ideas
My son’s roller hockey team is going to Toronto in July for NARCh. We’re batting around fundraising ideas to help defray the cost of the trip. How about an old-fashioned kissing booth? Kiss a hockey mom for $10! Or a pie toss! Throw a pie in the face of a hockey mom for $10! Better yet — dealer’s choice! Kiss a hockey mom or throw a pie in her face — $10. And we’ll throw in a package deal: A kiss and a pie — in either order! — for only $15! Surprisingly, only one of the moms thinks this is a good idea . . . Read more →