EppsNet

One of our exercises in Crucial Conversations training was to “think of a person who is really frustrating to work with,” and to describe in writing a recent interaction with that person in terms of what was actually said, and what you were thinking or feeling but didn’t say.

My responses included the following:

What I Actually Said

This project presents some unique challenges.

What I Didn’t Say

I have a lot of experience managing IT projects, but not in running a day care center or a mental institution, which is what this project requires.

What I Actually Said

That’s not quite the way I would have phrased it.

What I Didn’t Say

Everyone else in these meetings seems to feel constrained by a sense of professionalism and decency that you appear not to possess.

One of my colleagues at our table of four claimed that based on those responses, she could identify the person I was writing about.

Since she and I and the person in question have never worked on anything together, I said she couldn’t, but much to my amazement, she did.

I walked into Starbucks at 5:30 this morning, ordered a drink . . . the Starbucks guy asked my name and wrote it on the cup, despite the fact that I was the only customer in the store.

Whether that would be considered a training success or failure depends on whether Starbucks trains its people to always ask for the customer’s name, or to use situational judgment.

I was hoping the barista would call my name when the drink was ready so I could do a comical “who, me?” take, but she just set it on the counter . . .