EppsNet Archive: Work

Cleaning on the Day Shift

 

A couple of months ago, the cleaning staff at our office started working during the day, instead of after hours. Whatever improvements were supposed to accrue from that have evidently not come to pass because starting next month, they’re going back to the night shift. What I will miss most about having them around during the day is their impeccable sense of timing in closing the men’s room twice a day for cleaning at the precise moments that I urgently need to use it. Read more →

A Tradeoff

 

If female employment rates matched male rates in the U.S., the GDP would rise by 5%. This stat & more: http://t.co/XsBVJW1xtE — Harvard Biz Review (@HarvardBiz) August 25, 2013 Okay . . . but who would be raising our kids? Or is that not important? Read more →

Minimizing Retention

 

From an actual job description for a Software Development Manager: Worth with management and directs to put together a solid SW Development career development plan in alignment with Organization Solutions all-up to grow hi-potential employees and minimize retention. If you’re writing job descriptions and learning English at the same time, there’s no shame in having a native speaker review your work. The job description goes on like that for 10 or 12 more bullet points. I singled that one out because I like the phrase “minimize retention.” I can recommend a couple of people for that. I assume it’s a language problem in this case — that the author meant to say “maximize retention” or “minimize turnover” — but it might be a kick to have a job where your actual charter is to minimize retention. You would not be an easy person to work for. You would take all… Read more →

You Don’t Understand How Phones Work

 

East coast woman on conference call is yelling into the phone. Why? To be heard at a distance? HEY HONEY THE PHONE WORKS ELECTRONICALLY YOU DONT HAVE TO YELL! Read more →

First World Problems

 

When I get coffee from the break room, I try to cycle through the creamers — French Vanilla, Hazelnut and the regular Half & Half. Today I got coffee and I couldn’t remember where I left off in the cycle. I’m in a quandary . . . Read more →

Good News, Bad News

 

Most days I park on Level 5 of the office parking structure because that’s where the open spaces are at the time I arrive.1 This morning I got a spot on Level 1! A guy was pulling out just as I was pulling in and I got the spot. 🙂 Unfortunately, when I went out for lunch, I walked up four levels out of habit and couldn’t find my car. 🙁 1There are actually a lot of open spaces on lower levels but they’re “reserved” for people who aren’t there, which is rubbish. If you’re really that important, you should be the first person in every morning and you can have any parking space you want. Related articles Parking: Tips for Finding the Best Space (allstate.com) Read more →

Opting Out

 

Best-educated moms are also more likely to ‘opt out,’ research finds — Life Inc. Opt out of what? It turns out “opt out” means opt out of the workforce. How is a mom staying home and raising her kids considered “opting out”? Read more →

Home Runs

 

My wife asks how my job is going . . . “I’m hittin’ home runs like Willie Mays!” I reply. “You know Willie Mays?” “No.” “I’m hittin’ home runs like Mark McGwire!” “I know Jackie Robinson.” “Jackie Robinson didn’t hit a lot of home runs.” Read more →

Shooting the Messenger

 

I worked with a woman whose last name was Messenger. Every time I saw her I said “Don’t shoot the Messenger.” I never tired of it . . . Read more →

Aside

Lunch-and-learn today on Developing a Positive Attitude. Was going to sign up but then thought, “What the heck good would that do?”

Time to Worry?

 

A colleague says, “Are you talkin’ to ME?” Oh, and he showed up at work this morning with a shaved head. Read more →

How to Lose Your Job : A Fictional Memoir (Part I)

 

Because of the huge productivity differences between good programmers and bad programmers — 10x? 28x? More? — my biggest leverage point as a development manager is my ability to hire people. At my last job, we had an HR Director named Lucy. In every one of our annual Employee Satisfaction Surveys, Lucy’s group had the lowest scores in the entire organization. Nobody liked or respected her. She was, however, close with the CEO, which made that irrelevant. Lucy’s friend Kathy Slauson runs the Slauson and Slauson recruiting agency, so that’s where we got our programming candidates, who were mostly terrible. The Slauson agency doesn’t specialize in IT candidates, although they do have a “technical recruiter,” who unfortunately knows nothing about technology. They don’t bring candidates in for in-person interviews. They take whatever candidates give them in the form of a résumé and they pass the résumés along to clients like… Read more →

Misperceptions About Teamwork

 

Six Common Misperceptions about Teamwork – J. Richard Hackman – Harvard Business Review Read more →

Goin’ to Bangalore

 

I’m spending a couple of weeks in Bangalore at the end of the month. Travel is the most depressing thing in the world, beating out listening to other people talk about their travels. Bangalore has been called the Silicon Valley of Asia. It’s like the Silicon Valley here in California, but with monkeys and malaria. My boss has cautioned me to drink only the bottled water from the hotel, never the bottled water at the office. “They refill the bottles at the office with their own water,” he said. “The hotel will give you two bottles a day, but I tipped the staff a dollar a day and they left extra bottles in my room. That’s a lot of money over there.” I’m seriously thinking about tipping two dollars a day just to see what the heck happens . . . Read more →

Look Out, You Rock ‘n’ Rollers!

 

My bizness is taking me to Bangalore, India, at the end of the month. I got vaccinated for hepatitis A, hepatitis B, polio, typhoid, tetanus, diphtheria and pertussis. I’m now immune to everything, including your consultations. Read more →

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