Insulting People as a Public Service


There was a troubled-looking guy in Petco this afternoon giving away packets of Natural Balance dog food. He looked like a meth addict or something.

As I walked past him, he mumbled, without making eye contact, “Want some free dog food?”

“My dog won’t eat that shit,” I said, which is not true, but it certainly took the wind out of his sails.

Now you might say I wasn’t very charming but by verbally assaulting him in that way, I was motivating him to rehabilitate himself and get a real job.

Tough love . . .

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