Michigan Man Dies in Crash While Masturbating to Porn Video

31 Jan 2016 /
Grim Reaper

Michigan man dies in crash while driving and masturbating to porn on his phoneNY Daily News

Years ago, I was in a public restroom stall in an office building when I felt a mild earthquake. It occurred to me that a bad way to die would be to have a building collapse on you while sitting on a toilet, only to be pulled out of the rubble on the evening news with your pants around your ankles, covered in excrement.

But even that ignominious scenario pales in comparison to the egress of Clifford Ray Jones, age 58, who was driving down I-75 in Detroit with his pants off, watching a pornographic video on his phone. His hands were somewhere other than at the recommended position of 10 and 2 on the steering wheel when he crashed his 1996 Toyota and was hurled out the sunroof.

It’s embarrassing enough to be 58 years old and driving a 20-year-old Toyota, but to be hurled out the sunroof and killed sans pants, that’s the ultimate.

I told my wife, “If this happens to me, when someone asks ‘How did your husband die?’ please make something up. That’s my final request.”


No Comments on Michigan Man Dies in Crash While Masturbating to Porn Video »

Why not be first?

TrackBack URI

RSS feed for comments on this post

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>