I love Saturday mornings! My owner takes me to the dog park, then we drive through Starbucks and I get a Pup Cup, which is a paper cup filled with whipped cream. — Lightning Read more →
Author Archive: Lightning Epps
Unfair to Dogs
California man suspected of murdering wife, dog arrested at Peace Arch — Bellingham Herald Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! Here’s what I don’t understand: If a California man is suspected of killing his wife, why would they arrest a dog at the Peace Arch? It doesn’t make sense and it’s not fair to the dog. I’m going to stop reading the news. It’s too upsetting . . . — Lightning Read more →
Lightning’s Book Reviews: Don’t Know Much About History
Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! My owner’s son has this book for his AP U.S. History class. You should read it! The title — Don’t Know Much About History — makes you think of the famous song by Sam Cooke, so right away you want to know more about it! History is fascinating! For example, did you know that the Duke and Duchess of Windsor had ELEVEN pugs?! The Duke used to be the King of England but he had to “adbdicate” (that means quit) so he’d have enough time to walk all of his dogs. I hope that fact is in the book! — Lightning Read more →
My New Favorite Writer is Named Camille Paglia
Hi Everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I wanted to tell you that my new favorite writer is named Camille Paglia! A lot of people say that dogs and other animals can’t think because thought requires language and animals don’t know any language. Well, here is what Camille Paglia says about that: I disagree that language is or should be our primary medium for understanding the world. . . . Words are very important in human development, but they can never adequately explain the awesome mysteries of the universe. Dante dramatized this when Virgil, the Roman poet who is his guide through hell and purgatory, cannot accompany him to paradise. Virgil stands for reason and language, but sacred vision requires a leap into another dimension. . . . Exactly! I wish she said what kind of dog Dante is — maybe a pug! Expanded perception is closer to how animals are instinctively… Read more →
We Played a Fun Game This Morning
My owner’s wife chased me around the island in the middle of the kitchen this morning. What a fun game! It all started when she said “Come here, Lightning” and started walking toward me. When she says “Come here, Lightning,” it almost always means I’m going to have to do something I don’t want to do, like take a bath or go to bed — probably bath in this case, because it was morning — so that’s when I started going around the island. A couple of times she tried turning around and going the other way, like I’m supposed to keep going the same way and run right into her. Let me tell you, pugs are a little too smart for that old trick! Finally, when she saw she couldn’t win the game, she said to my owner, who was standing there watching,”Will you hold him for me?” “Oh… Read more →
Welcome Home!
My owner and his boy are back! I am so happy! My owner’s wife let me sleep on the bed while they were gone. Usually I sleep on my own bed downstairs. When someone says, “Lightning, go nite-nite,” I used to go and lie down on my bed. But now when someone says, “Go nite-nite,” I run upstairs to the bedroom. I’m a fast learner! I sniffed my owner’s clothes when he was gone because it made it seem like he was close by. And I went into the boy’s room sometimes to see if he was back yet. I’m going to be an extra good dog so they won’t go away any more . . . — Lightning Read more →
I Had a Bad Dream
Hi Everybody – I just had the worst nightmare! My owner took me to a country fair and I got lost and we couldn’t find each other! It was so realistic! I’ve never been so sad and scared! But then I woke up and it was just a dream and so I was happy again! — Lightning Read more →
Happy Mothers Day!
Hi Mom! Happy Mothers Day! How are things in Iowa? Here’s a recent picture of me at the dog park. You can see I have an underbite just like Dad. Some people tease me about it but I don’t care. You would be so proud of me. I’m the alpha dog of my whole neighborhood! People think that dogs don’t remember their families but of course I remember you and I always love you even though you’re far away. Your son, Lightning Read more →
Pug vs. Baby
So funny! — Lightning Read more →
The Starbucks Girl Will Be a Good Pug Owner
My owner took me to the dog park this morning and then we went to the Starbucks drive-thru. I like to stick my head out the window and say hi to the drive-thru people! This morning, the drive-thru girl said, “Oh I want a pug so bad! Is it true that they snore?” I don’t snore. “Some do,” my owner said, “but this one doesn’t.” “When I get my pug,” the girl said, “if she snores I’m going to love her snoring SO MUCH!” That’s sweet. What a nice girl. “She’ll be a lucky pug,” my owner said. — Lightning Read more →
¡Las Pugs Enmascaradas!
THIS IS THW MOST INSANE THING IV EVER SEEN! IM LAIUGHTING SOHARD I CANR EVEN TYPE1 LOL!!! — Lightning Read more →
It’s Oscar Night!
What’s with all these awards? They’re always giving out awards. Best Fascist Dictator: Adolf Hitler. — Woody Allen, Annie Hall LOL! Woody Allen cracks me up! I’m not going to watch the Oscars but I hope Slumdog Millionaire wins a lot of awards because my owner says it’s good and because I love movies about dogs. Unless Owen Wilson is in it. — Lightning Read more →
Happy Caturday
A cat in Seattle is having a photo exhibition! I have to admit that a couple of the photos are pretty good. I don’t have a camera. 🙁 — Lightning Read more →
BKFF
Originally uploaded by Izzi:) HA HA, Marshmallow pwned the pug hater! Marshmallow is my BKFF — Best Kitteh Friend Forever. What? You don’t think dogs and cats can be friends? They can! Look — here’s a picture I found on Flickr that proves it . . . — Lightning Read more →
Dog Food Review: Wellness
I don’t like this dog food. I will eat almost ANYTHING, including things that you normally wouldn’t think of as edible, like kleenex from the wastebasket, so if a dog food company produces something I don’t like to eat, they must really be doing something wrong. — Lightning Read more →
Police Dog in Action
One of my owner’s friends sent him this image of a police dog in action. I’ll bet that guy didn’t expect the dog to jump over the car like that! I wish the image was bigger so I could see the look on his face! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! — Lightning Read more →
My Dog Reviews Marley and Me
I love movies about dogs! Wait — is Owen Wilson in that? I HATE Owen Wilson! Whenever I meet a new bitch at the dog park, the first thing I ask her is “Do you think Owen Wilson is funny?” And if she says yes, I am OUTTA there. Rating: Two paws down. — Lightning Read more →
There are Different Kinds of Small Dogs
FYI — I’m a small dog, but I’m not a “pretend to be brave at the end of a leash” small dog, I’m a “this leash really is holding me back” small dog, as a neighborhood Rottweiler learned when he bounded across the street at me a few minutes ago. I don’t like big dogs running up on me — it’s disrespectful — but the woman walking him was too small to hold him back. So I put my front paws on his shoulder and growled in his ear, and when he couldn’t look me in the eye, I knew everything was going to be okay. My owner said later he thought at least one of us was going to be killed . . . — Lightning Read more →
I Got a Snow Globe for My Blog!
One of my owner’s friends gave me a Christmas pug to use on my blog. My first present of the season! Thanks, MS! The pug looks a little sad, probably because someone made him wear that stupid Santa hat. Pugs don’t like to wear hats. We may look like funny little animals, but don’t forget we are descended from the mighty gray wolf. Before you put a Santa hat on a pug, try putting a Santa hat on a wolf. That will teach you a good lesson. Don’t think that the pug is sad because of the snow. Pugs love snow! A day in the snow is the best day ever! Now that I think about it, every day is the best day ever! Oh, one more thing: I do NOT endorse Popdarts.com. Do not go to that site. Go to sites that support pugs. Oops — my owner just… Read more →
My Dog Sends a Bark Out to the Puppy Heroes
A 3-year-old Virginia boy was rescued Saturday after spending the night in the woods with only his puppies to keep him warm. . . . Around 300 people helped search for the missing child, and a command center was set up at the local Baptist church. “God really protected the boy,” Grace Baptist Church Pastor Dave Kline said. “We are happy that we were able to help.” — FOXNews.com God is “dog” spelled backwards! I say God could have saved everyone a lot of time by not letting the boy get lost in the first place. Good thing he had his puppies to keep him warm! Don’t try this with kittens! — Lightning P.S. That is a photo of me keeping my owner warm when I was a puppy. Read more →