Author Archive: Paul Epps

EppsNet at the Movies: Baby Driver

16 Jul 2017 /

The dialogue is awful and the characters are trite — the criminal mastermind in his secret lair, the beautiful but deadly femme fatale, the trigger-happy psychopath, etc. — but once they stop talking and the action kicks in, it’s terrific!

Also: great soundtrack!

Rating: 4-stars

Baby Driver

After being coerced into working for a crime boss, a young getaway driver finds himself taking part in a heist doomed to fail.

Director: Edgar Wright
Cast: Ansel Elgort Baby
Jon Bernthal Griff
Jon Hamm Buddy
Eiza González Darling

IMDb rating: 8.2 (92,431 votes)


The Victimized Media

16 Jul 2017 /

In the age of Trump, it’s acceptable for reporters to claim they “never wanted to be part of the story,” while waiting in a green room to go on TV and talk about themselves.

Joe and Mika


A Couple of Questions About Commerce

14 Jul 2017 /

Receipt with batteries

  1. Why are store receipts so damn big? I bought a couple of 3V batteries at Office Depot and got a receipt as long as my arm. (The receipt is shown upside down to discourage you from stealing my identity.)
  2. Why do chip readers have to honk at you when your transaction is approved? I get that they’re reminding me to remove my card but why not remind me via a pleasant jingle?
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Woman Knocks Over $200K Artwork Trying to Take a Selfie

14 Jul 2017 /


Our Town

13 Jul 2017 /


And I can see the sun settin’ fast
And just like they say nothing good ever lasts
Well, go on now and kiss it goodbye but hold on to your lover
‘Cause your heart’s bound to die
Go on now and say goodbye to our town, to our town
Can’t you see the sun’s settin’ down on our town, on our town
Goodnight


Privilege

12 Jul 2017 /
Theodore Roosevelt

There can be no grosser example of privilege than that set before us as an ideal by certain socialistic writers the ideal that . . . the man who is vicious, foolish, a drag on the whole community, who contributes less than his share to the common good, should take out what is not his, what he has not earned; that he shall rob his neighbor of what that neighbor has earned. This particular socialistic ideal would be to enthrone privilege in one of its grossest, crudest, most dishonest, most harmful and most unjust forms.

— Theodore Roosevelt, 1908

“I’m Not Pointing Any Fingers . . .”

10 Jul 2017 /

. . . I say to the only other person who lives in my house, “but SOMEone plucked the toppings off the leftover pizza.”

Pizza

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Today Would Have Been a Good Day

10 Jul 2017 /

I’ve always been tempted to short Abercrombie & Fitch stock based on the abysmal quality of people I see wearing their merchandise.

Today would have been a good day to actually do it, as a deal to sell the company fell through

(If you’re not familiar with stock charts, today’s activity is reflected in the vertical purple bar plummeting toward the bottom right of the chart.)


Sounds Like a Plan

9 Jul 2017 /

Sounds like a plan


More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of

7 Jul 2017 /

People who say “What does this button do?” and immediately press the button without waiting for an answer . . .


Amber Alerts

7 Jul 2017 /

I got an Amber Alert on my phone last night. The same Amber Alert is posted today on those lighted freeway billboards.

How did we decide that child abduction is the one activity that merits a notification to the entire country?

In this case, the woman in the photo, Kandice Johnson, stole a car at gunpoint with a 16-year-old boy in the back seat.

I’m going to feel ridiculously bad if this ends poorly, but for a 16-year-old boy, being kidnapped by a femme fatale like Kandice Johnson is maybe not the worst way to spend a few hours of your life . . .


A Tolerance Dilemma

7 Jul 2017 /

Malaysia, Indonesia Muslim groups call for Starbucks boycottChicago Tribune

The problem is Starbucks’ support for LGBT rights.

Sodomy is illegal in Malaysia and punishable by up to 20 years in prison. Homosexuality is not illegal in Indonesia but a case before the Constitutional Court is seeking to criminalize gay sex and sex outside of marriage.

What do you do if you want to embrace both Group A and Group B but Group A wants to put Group B in prison for 20 years and hit them with sticks?


Great Moments in Socialized Medicine: Charlie Gard

4 Jul 2017 /

If I’m understanding this correctly, socialized medicine really does mean that the government decides if you will live or die, and if your children will be allowed to live or die.

I’m glad to see that the current president of the United States is not on board with the idea of a government being able to decide on the life or death of a baby, and to deny the parents of the baby the ability to counter that decree.

This is a good reminder — since there are people who think that “single payer,” i.e., socialized medicine, i.e., the government runs the healthcare system, would be a good thing to have in the United States — that the government, if you’re very old and/or very sick, is not going to give you all that technology and all those drugs for the last couple of years or months or days of your life to keep you going.

It’s too expensive, so they are going to let you die.


Eat a Bag of D*cks

3 Jul 2017 /

I was informed today via email that a bag of gummy penises is a great way to tell friends, family, loved ones or enemies to eat a bag of dicks.

An anonymous package is sent to your chosen recipient containing 2 things: A bag of delicious gummy candies and a note exclaiming “EAT A BAG OF DICKS.”

You remain forever anonymous as you picture them wondering “Who sent this to me?” and “Are there more tasty gifts on the way?”

What are you waiting for?


Grow Taller 4 Idiots

2 Jul 2017 /

Here’s an email I got today. Eccentricities in spelling and punctuation are reproduced from the original.

Mutt and Jeff

Let’s face it, being short is no fun.

There are SO MANY CHALLENGES you have to overcome.

Such as:

People teasing and poking fun at you all the time. Missing out on the girl/guy of your dreams. Being average at sport due to lack of height. And getting a j* b can also be a problem too.

Plus, it’s demoralizing having to look up to people all the time.
Yes, it’s enough to drive to you crazy.

But what can you do about it? Do you just have to accept it, or is there is a solution that works?

Well, there is actually…

And it’s guaranteed to help you grow a minimum of 2-4 inches in just weeks.

It’s called “Grow Taller 4 Idiots” and it’s so ef fective it’s been used successfully by over 194,000 people in 174 countries!

Yes, this system actually works.

Being short will be a thing of the past… changing your life forever.

Go check it out nowz.

Injoy,
Steve C. Kinard

I’m not including the link here lest a reader newly armed with these height increase facts click on it, because, I don’t know, but it sounds like a scam to me . . .

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Signs of Trouble

28 Jun 2017 /

When a headline starts with one of the following, rest assured there’s going to be trouble:

“Bungee jumper . . .”

“Florida woman . . .”

“YouTube gun stunt . . .”

Related link: How Much Paper Does It Take to Stop a .50-Cal Bullet?


This is how it is now. I’m in another chapter of my life.

Posted by on 14 Jun 2017

They’re the Oppressors Now

10 Jun 2017 /

The Washington Post has an update on Brian Talbert, a gay man denied entry to the Charlotte Pride Parade because he voted for Donald Trump:

Talbert — a 47-year-old North Carolina native — said he was one of about 50 people who attended the first pride parade in Charlotte in 1994. He recalled that Christian demonstrators threw rocks and bottles at the marchers and that someone spit in his face. More than two decades later, he said, the discrimination continues — but this time it’s being directed at him by the gay community.

Talbert said he feels betrayed because it shouldn’t matter who you vote for.

“I want them to realize that they’re doing the exact same thing they say bigoted people are doing to them — they’re the oppressors now,” he said. “It’s disgusting, and every gay person in America should feel ashamed.”


Radical New Theory

8 Jun 2017 /


One Thing I Can’t Tolerate is Intolerance: Gays for Trump Edition

8 Jun 2017 /
http://www.fox5ny.com/news/259656209-story

Well, so much for acceptance and tolerance . . .

The banned group is called Gays for Trump. Brian Talbert, a member of the group, said, “It was going to be fun. We wanted to be energetic. We wanted to show that we weren’t the racist, bigot, misogynistic . . . We wanted to show that we are Americans, love our country and our president. We wanted to be there to celebrate gay pride. Everything fell into place except being able to celebrate who I am.”

Where that strategy fails is that showing Trump supporters are not anti-gay, racist, bigots, misogynists, etc., is not part of the mainstream gay agenda. Quite the opposite. The agenda is to keep that stereotype alive and keep those labels in play.

“For a group of people to claim to want tolerance, acceptance, and give it to every single person you can imagine to give it to, for them to sit back and judge me for exercising my right as an American to choose my leader without judgment is hypocritical,” Talbert said, stating the extremely obvious.

A spokesperson for the Charlotte Pride organization said in written statement:

“Charlotte Pride envisions a world in which LGBTQ people are affirmed, respected and included in the full social and civic life of their local communities, free from fear of any discrimination, rejection, and prejudice.”

Unless they happen to be Trump voters, in which case take a hike . . .


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