EppsNet Archive: Abraham Lincoln

Bernie Sanders is Wrong About Everything But He’s Raised the Intellectual Climate

Socialism has been discredited about as thoroughly as possible, but one thing I greatly admire about Bernie Sanders is this: He’s never made a political issue of the fact that he’s Jewish. He doesn’t say “It’s high time we had a Jewish president.” He doesn’t say “If you’re Jewish, you should vote for me because I’m Jewish.” And most importantly,… Read more →

Teaching Computer Science: Ski Week

Corona del Mar High School doesn’t just take Presidents Day off . . . they take the whole week off and call it Ski Week. It’s a total non sequitur in terms of paying tribute to our nation’s greatest leaders. George Washington didn’t ski. Abraham Lincoln didn’t ski. “How do you know Abraham Lincoln didn’t ski?” a student asks. “He… Read more →

More Words and Phrases I’m Sick Unto Death Of: “He Was Even Better as a Person”

A person named Will Arnett was taping the Conan O’Brien show yesterday when they found out about Robin Williams’ untimely demise. Arnett said this: “As funny as he was — he’s truly one of the all-time greats — he was even better as a person.” That’s a reliable formulation: As great as he was as a [thing the person was… Read more →

Serious People Don’t Ski

Five men, including three prominent Long Beach community and business leaders, were killed and one person seriously injured Wednesday when their Salt Lake City-bound plane crashed along a runway at Long Beach Airport and burst into flames. The group of six were on their way to ski in Park City, Utah, friends said. — Los Angeles Times I think we’ve… Read more →

Twitter: 2010-09-17

RT @SteveMartinToGo: OMG. President Lincoln has been shot! Wait, whoa, my internet connection is SUH-LOW. # Read more →

Show Me the Canadian Money

I handed the girl at the McDonalds drive-thru a Canadian 5-dollar bill and asked her, “Who is that guy?” “I don’t know,” she said. “I only came here three years ago and I’m not really into money.” When we got back to the hotel, I asked the guy at the front desk the same question. He had no idea. I… Read more →

Twitter: 2009-07-04

RT @diablocody: I ordered a bunch of Yankee Candles while drunk. Now the house smells of pie and remorse. # RT @darthvader: I love national holidays where blowing up a rebel stronghold can easily be considered a spectacular “finale.” # Weinerschnitzel: 2 chili dogs plus chili cheese fries for $3. Ain’t that America! # RT @diablocody: Ah, the patriotic “flag… Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: A Birthday Gift

My fellow Americans — Did you know that I was born on this date in 1743? Probably you didn’t because nobody makes a big deal about it like Washington’s birthday or Lincoln’s. That used to really bother me but I’m okay with it now. Anyway — it’s MY birthday but YOU get the gift. Point your browser at the Guess… Read more →

Great Orators of the 7th Grade

I can’t really hear what my son is holding forth on downstairs — just snippets about tyranny, racism, slavery, Abraham Lincoln, Harriet Tubman, civil rights and child abuse — which means his mom must have asked him to turn off the TV and get started on homework . . . Read more →