EppsNet Archive: Clothing

Today Would Have Been a Good Day

10 Jul 2017 /

I’ve always been tempted to short Abercrombie & Fitch stock based on the abysmal quality of people I see wearing their merchandise.

Today would have been a good day to actually do it, as a deal to sell the company fell through

(If you’re not familiar with stock charts, today’s activity is reflected in the vertical purple bar plummeting toward the bottom right of the chart.)

Act Now to Take Advantage of the New Low Price

1 Feb 2015 /

Shirt on sale?

Hawaiian Shirts

2 Aug 2014 /

My Hawaiian shirts are like my children . . . I love them all equally.


Pink Shirt

17 Jun 2014 /

As you get older and the color fades out of your hair and your face and your life, you need to compensate with more colorful attire. In case you’re wondering about the pink shirt . . .

The Surprising Benefits of Nonconformity

28 Mar 2014 /

New research finds that under certain circumstances, people wearing unconventional attire are perceived as having higher status and greater competence.

Japan, Day 2: Kinkakuji Temple, Nishijin Textile Center, Tea Ceremony, Bullet Train, Atami

23 Dec 2013 /

Kinkakuji Temple

Kinkaku-ji (lit. “Temple of the Golden Pavilion”), officially named Rokuon-ji (lit. “Deer Garden Temple”), is a Zen Buddhist temple in Kyoto, Japan.

The site of Kinkaku-ji was originally a villa called Kitayama-dai, belonging to a powerful statesman, Saionji Kintsune. Kinkaku-ji’s history dates to 1397, when the villa was purchased from the Saionji family by Shogun Ashikaga Yoshimitsu, and transformed into the Kinkaku-ji complex. When Yoshimitsu died, the building was converted into a Zen temple by his son, according to his wishes.

During the Onin war, all of the buildings in the complex aside from the pavilion were burned down. On July 2, 1950, at 2:30 am, the pavilion was burned down by a 22-year-old novice monk, Hayashi Yoken, who then attempted suicide on the Daimon-ji hill behind the building. He survived, and was subsequently taken into custody. The monk was sentenced to seven years in prison, but was released because of mental illnesses (persecution complex and schizophrenia) on September 29, 1955; he died of tuberculosis shortly after in 1956.

The present pavilion structure dates from 1955, when it was rebuilt.

— Wikipedia

Kinkakuji Temple: Golden Pavilion

Kinkakuji Temple: Golden Pavilion

Kinkakuji Temple: Golden Pavilion

Kinkakuji Temple: Golden Pavilion

Kinkakuji Temple: Golden Pavilion

Kinkakuji Temple: Golden Pavilion

Kinkakuji Temple: Golden Pavilion

Kinkakuji Temple: Golden Pavilion

Kinkakuji Temple: Golden Pavilion

Kinkakuji Temple: Golden Pavilion

Kinkakuji Temple: Golden Pavilion

Kinkakuji Temple: Golden Pavilion

Kinkakuji Temple

Kinkakuji Temple

Kinkakuji Temple: Golden Pavilion

Kinkakuji Temple: Golden Pavilion

Kinkakuji Temple

Kinkakuji Temple

Kinkakuji Temple

Kinkakuji Temple

Kinkakuji Temple

Kinkakuji Temple

Kinkakuji Temple

Kinkakuji Temple

Nishijin Textile Center

Nishijin is a district in Kamigyo-ku, Kyoto, Japan, and (by extension) a traditional textile produced there, more narrowly referred to as Nishijin-ori (Nishijin fabric).

Nishijin weaving was created in Kyoto over 1200 years ago by using many different types of colored yarns and weaving them together into decorative designs. These specialized procedures are tedious, but necessary to obtain the spectacular design needed to ensure the quality of Nishijin weaving.

— Wikipedia

What the blurb above means is that images and patterns are not dyed after the fabric has been produced, the yarn is dyed before weaving, which yields the finest quality but is much harder to create.

Kimono Show

Kimono Show

Kimono Show

Kimono Show

Kimono Show

Kimono Show

Tea Ceremony

We participated in a traditional Japanese tea ceremony, involving the preparation and presentation of matcha, a powdered green tea.

Fun fact: You don’t enter the tea room through that big opening in the front. You sort of crawl in through a small door on the right-hand side, which you can’t see in the photo. There’s a traditional reason for this, something to do with samurai not bringing swords to the tea ceremony (they won’t fit through the little door), but in modern times, it seems a bit of an unnecessary ordeal.

Tea Room

Tea Room

Bullet Train

We took the Shinkansen (bullet train) from Kyoto to Atami. These trains run on time. If the board says the train leaves at 3:12, it leaves at 3:12. Don’t show up at 3:13 and wonder where your train went.

Bullet Train

Bullet Train

Bullet Train

Bullet Train


In Atami, we enjoyed a traditional Japanese dinner, so traditional that our guide was unsure of what a couple of the items were. Atami is on the eastern coast and has a spectacular fireworks display that they shoot off over the bay.

Traditional Japanese Dinner

Traditional Japanese Dinner

Atami Fireworks

Atami Fireworks

Atami Fireworks

Atami Fireworks

Atami Fireworks

Atami Fireworks

The Aliens Have Landed in Irvine

8 Sep 2013 /

It’s about one in the afternoon at the Irvine In-N-Out Burger. A guy who looks to be in his early 20s comes in wearing a backward baseball cap, dark sunglasses (which he never removes) and — despite a temperature in the high 80s — a pullover sweater.


To simplify the storytelling, let’s call this guy Alf.

Alf waits in line, places his order, then immediately walks over and stands in front of the pickup counter. The place is packed, and I can tell from looking at the number on my own ticket that there are about 10 more orders ahead of me, and since I ordered before him, there are about 15 more orders ahead of Alf, so there’s no reason for him to be standing at — in fact, leaning on — the pickup counter.

After a few moments, the kid at the pickup counter asks Alf what his number is.

“Eleven,” Alf replies.

“OK, we’re calling numbers in the 90s, so it’s going to be a few more minutes.”

Alf then sits down on a bench to the left of the pickup counter, where he waits patiently until they call order number 6, which happens to be my number, at which time Alf asks the kid at the counter if his order is ready yet. It’s the same kid he talked to before, and the kid knows Alf’s number is 11, so he says, “No, not yet.”

When the alien invasion come to your town, you will know them by the following signs:

  1. Inappropriate attire, e.g., sweaters in a heat wave, dark glasses indoors, caps on backwards . . . no, scratch that last one. Some Earthlings do that too.
  2. Ignorance of the most basic social scenarios, like how to order and pick up fast food.
  3. Inability to count.

Seamless Integration

16 Apr 2013 /

(Photo credit: The Bees)

There’s an unwritten rule in the software business that any integration between two systems must be described as “seamless,” the result being that the word no longer has any meaning.

My favorite seamless integration storyline took place years ago when IBM had a joint marketing pact with Vignette, and offered “seamless integration” between the WebSphere application server and the Vignette content management system. In fact, the two systems weren’t integrated at all by any definition of the word “integrated” that I know about. We had to write our own interfaces to move data between them.

The funny thing is, that is seamless integration if you think about it, in that there’s no seam between two things that are not connected at all.

For example, my shirt neatly integrates sleeves, cuffs, pocket, collar . . . but not seamlessly. There are seams all over the place. Whereas the shirt is seamlessly integrated with my pants. I can stuff the shirt in there and if I don’t move around too vigorously, it will stay there and not come out.

What’s so bad about seams, anyway?

Mr. Blackwell Lives

19 Oct 2012 /
Mr. Blackwell

American fashionista Richard Blackwell (1922-2008) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My kid calls me out for wearing white socks with black sneakers . . .

“Thanks, Mr. Blackwell,” I say to him.

Then it occurs to me that a 19-year-old is not going to get the Mr. Blackwell reference.

“FYI, Mr. Blackwell was a flamboyantly gay fashion critic.”

The Game Blame Game

22 Jul 2012 /
Washington Bullets uniform

My boy is playing NBA 2K12 and points out that my Where’s Waldo shirt looks like the Washington Wizards (nee Bullets) throwback uniforms.

“Where’s John Wall-do?” he says.

Ha ha. I get my comeback opportunity a few minutes later when his game player passes to a teammate, who scores, but his player doesn’t get credit for an ssist.

“HOW CAN THAT BE ANYTHING BUT AN ASSIST FOR ME?!” he shouts in disbelief. “That’s bad programming.”

“Oh I doubt that,” I say. “The people who program video games are a lot smarter than the people who play them.”

It’s Not Nice to Make Fun of People’s Clothes

31 May 2012 /
Striped T-shirt

I picked up a red striped T-shirt on sale at Old Navy. My son saw it and it seemed to me that he chuckled a little bit.

“What’s funny?” I asked.

“Where’s Waldo?” he said.

Bored to Death

17 Jul 2010 /

The shirt wouldn’t look good on me but I know the feeling . . .

T-Shirt Ad

The Car Business

29 Apr 2010 /


Twitter: 2010-04-18

18 Apr 2010 /
  • Why does every fat-ass with a bike have to dress himself out like Lance Armstrong? #

Technology Enhances Chivalry

3 Oct 2009 /

My son’s a junior in high school now . . . tonight he went to a school homecoming dance instead of watching the USC-Cal game with his dad.

Sing it with me:

The cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon . . .

This morning he went with his mom to buy a dress shirt and a tie. When they’d narrowed the choice down to two ties, he took a photo of them with his phone and sent them to the girl to see which one would go better with her dress . . .

Another Reason Why All the Great Scientists (Except Marie Curie) Are Men

17 Apr 2009 /

Two women are talking in the lunch room. One is wearing a black pullover sweater.

The other woman says, “I like your sweater.”

“Thanks. It’s long, so it covers my ass.”

“That’s what I like about it. Not that it covers your ass, but that it would cover my ass.”

I’m speechless . . .

The sweater isn’t covering her ass, her pants are covering her ass, and the sweater is covering the pants!

It’s a total misread of the geometry of the situation!

Frugality or Faux Pas

26 Feb 2009 /
Gov. and Mrs. Otter

Idaho’s first lady wore the same dress twice — to the gala at Saint Al’s Festival of Trees in November, and then again Sunday to the White House for a dinner with the nation’s governors, the Obamas’ first formal soiree.

Lori Otter bought the dress — a floor-length black Jovani gown — on sale at the local boutique Karen Louise in Downtown Boise, the governor’s office said. The gown retails for about $700, but Otter got it for about $500.


This is news? Out here in the real America, not only do we wear the same clothes–even less expensive items like socks and underwear–dozens of times, but a whole industry has arisen providing equipment, detergents and services for washing clothes between uses.

A T-Shirt with a Gorilla on It

11 Dec 2008 /
XLarge T-Shirt

I took my boy to Souplantation for dinner after his hockey game. An Indian kid in the line across from us was wearing a t-shirt with a gorilla on it.

“That Indian guy has a cool shirt,” my son said. “I’d rock that.”

“I’d sport that,” he said.

“I’d don that,” he said.

“I’d . . .”

“I get it. Now shut up so I can focus on my salad.”

Plaid Pants

28 Oct 2008 /
Plaid pants

In the process of rearranging things in the house last weekend, my wife found a box of pictures of me as a boy and showed them to our son.

“Dude, those were funny,” he says. “There’s one of you sitting on a motorcycle –” He makes an angry face and pantomimes driving a motorcycle. “Vroom! Vroom! And you’re wearing — ha, ha — you’re wearing a pair of –” Now he’s laughing so hard he can hardly talk, but he manages to spit out “– plaid pants!” before collapsing in a coughing, sputtering fit.

I explain to him that plaid pants were popular in the 1970s.

“Mom!” he yells downstairs. “Where’s that box of pictures of Dad?”

“Under the desk in the den,” she yells back.

“I’ve seen those pictures,” I say, “so if you’re planning to show them to me and laugh about it, you’re wasting your time.”

“I’ve just got to see them again myself . . .”

Aloha, Gary

20 Oct 2008 /
Hawaiian shirt

My wife tells me the Gary’s Island store in Newport Beach is going out of business.

I hope it’s not true.

It’s a great store, but I suppose in a down economy, high-end Hawaiian shirts are even more of a luxury item than usual . . .