EppsNet Archive: Gays

Matt Who?

 

Matt Damon is GAY?! Are you KIDDING me?! Wait — what? Matt BOMER is gay?! Why is THAT news? Read more →

How to Make a Living as a Porn Actor

 

Marc Randazza, First Amendment lawyer who represents porn companies, said about porn: “Honestly, the gay side’s where all the money is. There might be 30 straight guys who can make a living at it, but if you’re willing to get f*cked in the ass, I can get you five grand right now.” — New York Magazine Read more →

This Problem Solves Itself

 

Universal yanked a movie trailer in which Vince Vaughn’s character says “electric cars are gay.” Fortunately, it’s a Vince Vaughn movie so no one will see it anyway. Read more →

A Personal Reflection on Current Events

 

My best friend in college hanged himself. He wasn’t gay. It broke my heart, but nobody famous took any notice. We’re all against bullying of course, but it’s a fact of life. Everyone gets targeted for whatever it is that makes them different, and if you’re absolutely normal in all respects, you’ll be targeted for being too perfect. I put my son in tae kwon do classes at an early age. I said it was for fitness and confidence and all the usual stuff, but really it was so that any needlessly cruel behavior directed toward him could be addressed via a kick in the teeth. Sometimes you have to beat someone’s ass to teach him how to get along with the rest of the human race . . . Read more →

Here Come the Brides

 

We went to a wedding over the weekend, although it won’t be recognized as such by the state of California because both people involved were women. One of the women is Asian, the other Mexican. Both are in their late 20s, both pretty, and they seem to be very happy together. The reception was held at The Reef restaurant, affording a beautiful view of Long Beach harbor and the downtown lights beyond. The bride wore white. The other bride also wore white.   We couldn’t find a “bride and bride” wedding card at the Hallmark store. We asked an employee about it, an older woman. “You want what?” she said. “A bride and bride card. All the wedding cards are bride and groom, a man holding a woman’s hand. What we want is a bride and bride card.” “We don’t have anything like that,” she said. “You should get some.”… Read more →

Here’s a Strange Fact

 

Prop 8 was approved by a majority of California voters, it was overturned today, and yet I haven’t heard one person say that they’re anything but happy about it. I think a lot of people are not comfortable with the idea of same-sex marriage but would rather not say so outside the privacy of the ballot box for fear of being labelled by loving, inclusive Prop 8 supporters as hateful, bigoted, hypocritical assholes who should all go burn in hell . . . Read more →

The Democratic Party

 

The Democratic Party is really a synthesis of environmentalists and peace advocates with a few gay rights activists and public employee unions thrown in. — Dick Morris Read more →

Personal Preferences

 

One of my son’s friends, his parents split up some time back because his dad, as it turned out, was not really attracted to women. I met the gentleman for the first time last night at a school concert. How he was able to convince anyone, including himself, that he’s not gay is a mystery. “Did you notice they’re opening a new restaurant at South Coast Plaza?” he said in a voice as gay as Christmas. “They’ll be serving only locally grown food. I was on my way to the Apple Store . . .” Now I’m not saying that every man who cares about where his food is grown or owns an Apple product is gay but . . . “I own an Apple product,” my son says. “Yeah, an iPod,” I reply. “That’s okay. That’s mainstream.” Read more →

John Hughes, 1950-2009

 

Very sad news. Love him or hate him, you had to admire his originality as a filmmaker. An openly gay man known for his pencil-thin mustache . . . wait, what?! John Hughes died? Oh, he was TERR-ible! Ferris Bueller’s Day Off — worst movie I ever saw! For a moment there I thought you said John Waters had died . . . Read more →

Twitter: 2009-07-15

 

Flamboyantly gay flight attendant on our Buffalo-to-Newark flight. In-flight entertainment: Bruno. No they didn't show a movie. # Read more →

Twitter: 2009-06-09

 

RT @postsecret: A creative pool of photos on flickr that combines the past with the present in a ghostly way. http://ad.vu/nsee # RT @HeyTammyBruce: Adam doesn’t look gay, he looks one step away from a Marilyn Monroe wig, a boa and a name change to Eve. # Read more →

Kelly McGillis is GAY?!

 

‘Top Gun’s’ McGillis ‘done with the man thing’ — msnbc.com Wow . . . she’ll make a nice tuna sandwich for some lucky lesbo. I remember when I saw her naked in Witness. I had an erection lasting more than four hours and had to call my doctor. He said don’t worry about it, he had the same thing . . . Read more →

Microblog: 2009-04-20

 

Carrie Fisher on her core audience: Alcoholics, addicts, gay (both sexes), mentally ill & people named Erica – http://twurl.nl/hvswww # You know my motto: I never metacognitive I didn’t like. # Temps are soaring in the OC. Treated myself to an ice-cold lemonade at lunch… # @NoReinsGirl That’s why I stockpile rum, coke and ice. Emergency preparedness! in reply to NoReinsGirl # Read more →

Core Audience

 

Carrie Fisher on her core audience: Alcoholics, addicts, gay (both sexes), mentally ill & people named Erica…… Read more →

A Gay Mexican Guy with a Mohawk

 

I went to get my hair cut at lunch. There was one guy waiting ahead of me and two stylists — a woman, and a gay Mexican guy with a Mohawk. Am I a bad person for praying that Mohawk would finish first (he did) and take the other guy? My son says when he was in Washington, D.C., he saw shops where all the hair cutters were men. “That’s different,” I explain. “Those are barbers. Barbers don’t mess around with you like stylists. I don’t want a gay guy with a Mohawk running his fingers through my hair. Note the fact that he’s a Mexican doesn’t matter at all. I mean, I’m not a racist or anything.” Read more →

Proposition 8

 

On Nov. 4, my fellow Californians and I will vote on Proposition 8, an initiative to ban same-sex marriages, which were made legal by a state Supreme Court ruling in May. I know a guy — let’s call him Trog . . . Trog seems to have emerged from the mists of time untouched by human evolution. Not surprisingly, Trog supports Proposition 8 and he feels strongly enough about it that if you stop by his office, you’ll see a fair amount of Yes on 8 campaign material. Now I have to say that the idea of two people of the same sex getting married and making out with each other — provided they’re female and hot — does far less to tarnish my view on the sanctity of marriage than does the thought of some woman allowing this mouth-breathing ape to clamber on top of her and deposit his… Read more →

Issue of the Day

 

People my age or a little younger may remember some years ago, when the issue of burning the American flag suddenly became the most important issue in the country. People were so riled up about it that a constitutional amendment was proposed to make flag burning illegal. Read more →

Love and Marriage

 

Love and marriage Go together like a horse and carriage. Ha Ha Ha! What a joke! To young people, gay people, young gay people, I would say this: Don’t confuse “I love you” with “I want to marry you.” Read more →

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