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• RT @ChelseaVPeretti: Just saw a forgettable documentary about Alzheimer’s. #
• 4 Steps to Generating Your Next Breakthrough – Harvard Business Review http://goo.gl/xGRa #

Except aging, death, poverty, diminished capacity, criticism, loss of love and ill health.

At the doctor’s office this afternoon, there was a man about 70 years old in the waiting room wearing a Peterbilt cap and holding a similar cap in his hands.

Later I asked the nurse why the guy needed two caps.

“He left his cap here on his last appointment,” she said. “We gave it back to him today so now he has two.”

“Oh that makes sense,” I said. “I was thinking it was maybe a symptom of whatever it is he’s being treated for.”

Here’s some information that will ruin your day if not your entire life: Deborah Harry is 65 years old today! How is that possible?

A Facebook friend posted some photos from the Backstreet Boys concert in L.A. last weekend. Most of the “boys” now have worse hairlines than I do.

Shouldn’t bands named Boys or Kids be forced to retire when they start to go bald?

Or at least change their name from, say, New Kids on the Block to Old Guys on the Porch?

My wife gives the boy a plate of donettes as he comes down for breakfast. Then she asks me, “Do you have 10 dollars you can give him?”

Checking my fund supply, I find that I have a five-dollar bill and two ones.

“I have seven dollars,” I say, holding up the bills. “Fifty years of life and this is what I have to show for it. Seven dollars.”

“You are such a whiner,” my wife says.

The boy jumps into the conversation at this point. “There’s only five donuts here,” he says. “These definitely come in a package of six.”

“Okay, I modify my statement,” I say. “Fifty years of life has given me seven dollars and a donut. Not even a large donut. A donette.”

• Time marches on!! We are all dying!!! We are coming to the end of our lives!!! Happy New Year!!! #

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler says he has entered a rehab clinic to treat an addiction to pain killers he has taken to cope with 10 years of performance injuries.

— Reports: Aerosmith’s Tyler enters rehab – MSN Entertainment News

I hate to say I told you so . . . well, okay, I don’t hate it . . .

My dad asks me, “You know what’s a good thing about getting old?”

“A lot of people you don’t like are dead?” I suggest.

“No, you can hide your own Easter eggs.”

“What?”

Learn all the tricks you can while you’re young . . .

— Lightning

The Backstreet Boys have been forced to cancel their New York City promotional tour because member Brian Littrell has been diagnosed with the swine flu. The other three members — Nick Carter, Howie Dorough and AJ McLean — have seen a doctor and are not showing any symptoms.

— PopEater

Disease and injury seem to be the only ways to put a stop to these played-out musical acts. Evidently no one ever wakes up one morning and realizes that they’re just too old for this shit . . .

• My uncle fell down and cracked his head open. He's 80. No, he's not a member of Aerosmith. #
• RT @ericmusselman: Jerry West "Sometimes talent gets in the way of people being able to play well together " #

RAPID CITY, S.D. (AP) — Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler was airlifted to a hospital after falling from stage during a concert at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in western South Dakota.

— MSN Music News

Hey Steve — maybe life is trying to tell you something. Let’s listen closely and see if we can hear what it is . . .

YOU’RE OLD!

Stop trying to suck every last dollar out of your former glory and retire, you geriatric bastard . . .

I have to say, it has been nice to watch Griffey’s career unfold in an old-school, pre-PED way; instead of belting 57 homers at age 39, he’s barely hanging on to a job. It’s refreshing. It’s the human body doing what it’s supposed to do at that age: fail. Thanks for sucking, Ken Griffey Jr. And I mean that in a completely genuine way. I swear.

— Bill Simmons

Aerosmith bassist Tom Hamilton has been forced to pull out of part of the band’s summer tour as he recovers from surgery, according to their website.

— BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Another injury plagues Aerosmith

What kind of surgery? A hip replacement?

Earlier this summer, the band postponed seven shows after Steve Tyler, 61, injured his leg at a gig in June.

I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP!

News flash, boys: You’re old. Do you have those motorized carts that old people ride around on?

If not, have your attendants push you out on stage in your wheelchairs and maybe nobody gets hurt . . .

Ex-Blondie singer Deborah Harry, who played a solo show here in Orange County last night, is 62 years old . . .

Will you come to see me Jack
     When I’m old and very shaky?
Yes I will for you’re my dad
     And you’ve lost your last old lady
     Though you traveled very far
To the highlands and the badlands
     And ripped off the family car
Still, old dad, I won’t forsake you.

Will you come to see me Jack?
     Though I’m really not alone.
Still I’d like to see my boy
     For we’re lonesome for our own.
     Yes I will for you’re my dad
Though you dumped me and my brothers
     And you sizzled down the road
Loving other fellows’ mothers.

Will you come to see me Jack?
     Though I look like time boiled over.
Growing old is not a lark.
     Yes I will for you’re my dad
     Though we never saw a nickel
As we struggled up life’s ladder
     I will call you and together
We will cuddle up and see
     What the weather’s like in Key West
On the old-age home TV.

— Grace Paley, “Enormous Changes at the Last Minute”

From wnbc.com: Even More Famous Women: How They’ve Aged

It’s a photo slideshow. My comment after viewing it:

I was at the corporate office of a well-known company here in Irvine yesterday when I saw the name “Tim Jones” on one of the offices.

“Hmmm,” I thought, “I used to work with a Tim Jones [not his real name] about 20 years ago. I wonder if it’s the same guy?”

The door was closed, but I was able to peep through the glass as I walked by and saw what looked to be Tim Jones’ grandfather.

It’s amazing how Tim Jones has fallen apart over the last 20 years while I myself have not aged a single day . . .

Two men within a mast length of Rick Hedrick’s homemade 32-foot sailboat have toiled away on their boats for 30 years each. Another for 25 years. Another recently died before his life’s work saw the briny sea.

By comparison, Hedrick, 61, of San Clemente, has practically set a land-speed record. He only had to give up 17 years – working every weekend and two or three nights a week after work to complete his life’s dream. . . .

“Yes, I’m anxious,” Hedrick said last week at the Boat Yard, where men dream of water, sometimes for half their lives. “The only thing I have ever wanted to do is go sailing. But now that I’m here, I’m reflecting on everything. I’ve spent so much of my life here. I haven’t lived a normal life. I’m never home. I’m 61. I wonder, did I pay too great a price?”

— Orange County Register, “O.C. man spent 17 years building his dream boat”

Continue reading Building a Boat