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• Time marches on!! We are all dying!!! We are coming to the end of our lives!!! Happy New Year!!! #

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler says he has entered a rehab clinic to treat an addiction to pain killers he has taken to cope with 10 years of performance injuries.

— Reports: Aerosmith’s Tyler enters rehab – MSN Entertainment News

I hate to say I told you so . . . well, okay, I don’t hate it . . .

My dad asks me, “You know what’s a good thing about getting old?”

“A lot of people you don’t like are dead?” I suggest.

“No, you can hide your own Easter eggs.”

“What?”

Learn all the tricks you can while you’re young . . .

— Lightning

The Backstreet Boys have been forced to cancel their New York City promotional tour because member Brian Littrell has been diagnosed with the swine flu. The other three members — Nick Carter, Howie Dorough and AJ McLean — have seen a doctor and are not showing any symptoms.

— PopEater

Disease and injury seem to be the only ways to put a stop to these played-out musical acts. Evidently no one ever wakes up one morning and realizes that they’re just too old for this shit . . .

• My uncle fell down and cracked his head open. He's 80. No, he's not a member of Aerosmith. #
• RT @ericmusselman: Jerry West "Sometimes talent gets in the way of people being able to play well together " #

RAPID CITY, S.D. (AP) — Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler was airlifted to a hospital after falling from stage during a concert at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in western South Dakota.

— MSN Music News

Hey Steve — maybe life is trying to tell you something. Let’s listen closely and see if we can hear what it is . . .

YOU’RE OLD!

Stop trying to suck every last dollar out of your former glory and retire, you geriatric bastard . . .

I have to say, it has been nice to watch Griffey’s career unfold in an old-school, pre-PED way; instead of belting 57 homers at age 39, he’s barely hanging on to a job. It’s refreshing. It’s the human body doing what it’s supposed to do at that age: fail. Thanks for sucking, Ken Griffey Jr. And I mean that in a completely genuine way. I swear.

— Bill Simmons

Aerosmith bassist Tom Hamilton has been forced to pull out of part of the band’s summer tour as he recovers from surgery, according to their website.

— BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Another injury plagues Aerosmith

What kind of surgery? A hip replacement?

Earlier this summer, the band postponed seven shows after Steve Tyler, 61, injured his leg at a gig in June.

I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP!

News flash, boys: You’re old. Do you have those motorized carts that old people ride around on?

If not, have your attendants push you out on stage in your wheelchairs and maybe nobody gets hurt . . .

Ex-Blondie singer Deborah Harry, who played a solo show here in Orange County last night, is 62 years old . . .

Will you come to see me Jack
     When I’m old and very shaky?
Yes I will for you’re my dad
     And you’ve lost your last old lady
     Though you traveled very far
To the highlands and the badlands
     And ripped off the family car
Still, old dad, I won’t forsake you.

Will you come to see me Jack?
     Though I’m really not alone.
Still I’d like to see my boy
     For we’re lonesome for our own.
     Yes I will for you’re my dad
Though you dumped me and my brothers
     And you sizzled down the road
Loving other fellows’ mothers.

Will you come to see me Jack?
     Though I look like time boiled over.
Growing old is not a lark.
     Yes I will for you’re my dad
     Though we never saw a nickel
As we struggled up life’s ladder
     I will call you and together
We will cuddle up and see
     What the weather’s like in Key West
On the old-age home TV.

— Grace Paley, “Enormous Changes at the Last Minute”

From wnbc.com: Even More Famous Women: How They’ve Aged

It’s a photo slideshow. My comment after viewing it:

I was at the corporate office of a well-known company here in Irvine yesterday when I saw the name “Tim Jones” on one of the offices.

“Hmmm,” I thought, “I used to work with a Tim Jones [not his real name] about 20 years ago. I wonder if it’s the same guy?”

The door was closed, but I was able to peep through the glass as I walked by and saw what looked to be Tim Jones’ grandfather.

It’s amazing how Tim Jones has fallen apart over the last 20 years while I myself have not aged a single day . . .

Two men within a mast length of Rick Hedrick’s homemade 32-foot sailboat have toiled away on their boats for 30 years each. Another for 25 years. Another recently died before his life’s work saw the briny sea.

By comparison, Hedrick, 61, of San Clemente, has practically set a land-speed record. He only had to give up 17 years – working every weekend and two or three nights a week after work to complete his life’s dream. . . .

“Yes, I’m anxious,” Hedrick said last week at the Boat Yard, where men dream of water, sometimes for half their lives. “The only thing I have ever wanted to do is go sailing. But now that I’m here, I’m reflecting on everything. I’ve spent so much of my life here. I haven’t lived a normal life. I’m never home. I’m 61. I wonder, did I pay too great a price?”

— Orange County Register, “O.C. man spent 17 years building his dream boat”

Continue reading Building a Boat

I’m 46 years old. I’m no longer young. I hate it when people ask how old I am, but it’s only going to get worse.

So far, I feel like I’m aging more gracefully than a lot of people — without the use of hair coloring, ponytails, earrings, sports cars, and cosmetic surgery.

I’m still married to my first wife.

To the dads of several of my son’s friends, I pose this question: If you are in fact a bald, middle-aged fat-ass, how long can you pretend to still be young and hip?

I buy my first pair of reading glasses. My wife almost weeps when she sees them.

“You’re getting old,” she says.

[Ed. Note: The unusual spellings are from the original source.]

If I could live again my life,
In the next – I’ll try,
- to make more mistakes,
I won’t try to be so perfect,
I’ll be more relaxed,
I’ll be more full – than I am now,
In fact, I’ll take fewer things seriously,
I’ll be less hygenic,
I’ll take more risks,
I’ll take more trips,
I’ll watch more sunsets,
I’ll climb more mountains,
I’ll swim more rivers,
I’ll go to more places – I’ve never been,
I’ll eat more ice creams and less (lime) beans,
I’ll have more real problems – and less imaginary ones, I was one of those people who live prudent and prolific lives – each minute of his life, Offcourse that I had moments of joy – but,
 if I could go back I’ll try to have only good moments,

If you don’t know – thats what life is made of,
Don’t lose the now!

I was one of those who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, without a hot-water bottle,
 and without an umberella and without a parachute,

If I could live again – I will travel light,
If I could live again – I’ll try to work bare feet at the beginning of spring till   the end of autumn, I’ll ride more carts,
I’ll watch more sunrises and play with more children,
If I have the life to live – but now I am 85, - and I know that I am dying …

— Jorge Luis Borges, “Instants”

Sometimes I feel really old . . .

I’m not getting any younger
I’m not getting any smarter
I’m not getting any healthier

Sometimes I feel like 45 would be a pretty good age to die . . .

Related Links

• “Men at Forty” by Donald Justice

I’m listening to a radio ad in which a man purporting to be a medical doctor is pitching an herbal rejuvenator:

Call now and I’ll send you my free report on aging and its effect on energy and sex drive!

Let me guess: they go down . . .

NEW YORK (AP) — Olivia Goldsmith, a best-selling novelist whose book First Wives Club was made into a movie starring Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler and Diane Keaton, has died. She was 54.

Goldsmith had been in a coma since last Wednesday after complications resulting from anesthesia during plastic surgery . . .

Continue reading Dogfood