EppsNet Archive: Movie Reviews

Is Christmas a Joyous Day? (A Movie Review)

 

SPOILERS AHEAD! The central character in this movie is a Buddhist monk who has achieved immortality, he looks about 50 but he no longer ages. There is, however, a prophecy that a girl born in the same town that he was born in, but 100 years later, will kill him. [SPOILERS START HERE] So for the last 14 years, he has had his disciples locate and murder every girl born in that city in the year 1999. In most cases, the bodies were disposed of so the cases were treated as missing persons, or in some cases, as accidents. (As I write this, it does seem like the police should have been able to connect the dots a little sooner.) When you see it in a movie like this, it seems grotesque and inhuman that a religious leader would order a mass murder of children in order to preserve his… Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: Affliction

 

Affliction is a sad, painful movie about “boys and men for thousands of years: boys who were beaten by their fathers, whose capacity for love and trust was crippled almost at birth, men whose best hope for connection with other human beings lay in detachment, as if life were over. It’s how we keep from destroying in turn our own children and terrorizing the women who have the misfortune to love us; how we absent ourselves from the tradition of male violence; how we decline the seduction of revenge.” The beatings, actually, are optional. I don’t remember my dad ever laying a hand on me but my parents were still able to send me into the world afflicted with crippling anxiety, depression and fear of failure. Not much happens in the world, in my opinion, that can’t be explained by good or bad parents. Rating: Director: Cast: IMDb rating: (… Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: Night in Paradise

 

I found this film first-rate in every respect except . . . SPOILER ALERT! . . . the way the death of the hero was handled. Didn’t like that at all. That being said, I hope if something similarly bad happens to me that my girlfriend will also pack a gym bag with guns and ammo and massacre an entire restaurant full of the people responsible. That’s a great scene. She comes in, locks the front door, a creepy gangster type comes over and says with a sleazy grin, “No more seats. Come sit with us. We’re nice.” “I didn’t come to eat,” she replies, cocking a gun under his chin. “And get your hands off me.” So he’s the first guy to end up with his brains on the ceiling but not the last! Rating: Director: Cast: IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: Happy Old Year

 

Happy Old Year is a Thai movie about letting go of the past, holding on to the past, self-awareness (or lack thereof). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry . . . I had to take off a star because, and I’m not spoiling anything here, the male lead has two girlfriends, not really at the same time, and I can’t imagine what either of them sees in this selfish putz. I’d give the star back if the lead actress took her clothes off but she doesn’t. 🙁 Rating: Director: Cast: IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: The Garden of Words

 

The Garden of Words is a beautiful short film about loneliness and love and longing, inspired by verses from the Manyoshu, an anthology of ancient Japanese poems: A faint clap of thunder Clouded skies Perhaps rain will come If so, will you stay here with me? A faint clap of thunder Even if rain comes or not I will stay here Together with you. Rain is a central motif in the film. Like the force of love, it can’t be controlled or stopped. Highly recommended! Rating:     Director: Cast: IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: A Star is Born

 

OK, actually I haven’t seen A Star is Born and here’s why: When I go to the movies, I like to see something I’ve never seen before. I don’t care for sequels, prequels, reboots, spinoffs, adaptations of TV shows, video games, comic books or other movies. I don’t like love stories. I find them unrealistic. I read a lot and the books and authors I like mostly exclude the possibility of true love. What is worse than when you want to see a movie and someone spoils it by telling you how it ends? If you’re remaking A Star is Born for the fifth time, everyone already knows how it ends. You’ve spoiled your own movie.   Director: Cast: IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: The Matrix

 

The Matrix is 75 percent juvenile philosophizing and 25 percent sci-fi action. Someone must have told the Wachowski brothers (now the Wachowski sisters) that they’re a lot smarter than they really are because the movie would have been much better with 25 percent juvenile philosophizing and 75 percent sci-fi action. Rating: The Matrix Director: Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski Cast: Keanu Reeves NeoLaurence Fishburne MorpheusCarrie-Anne Moss TrinityHugo Weaving Agent Smith IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: Superbad

 

This inexplicably gets a good rating on IMDb. I couldn’t sit through 10 minutes of it. If your age and/or IQ is somewhere in the teens, you might enjoy it. My rating would be lower but there was one funny joke. Rating: Superbad Director: Greg Mottola Cast: Michael Cera EvanJonah Hill SethChristopher Mintz-Plasse FogellBill Hader Officer Slater IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: Baby Driver

 

The dialogue is awful and the characters are trite — the criminal mastermind in his secret lair, the beautiful but deadly femme fatale, the trigger-happy psychopath, etc. — but once they stop talking and the action kicks in, it’s terrific! Also: great soundtrack! Rating: Director: Cast: IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: The Accountant

 

The Ben Affleck character is at the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum, which means, among other things, that he has no social skills. I also have no social skills. It’s exhausting just to be polite to people most of the time, let alone trying to be fun and interesting. I’d like to be diagnosed with something that gives me a medical excuse for not having to do that. The Ben Affleck character also has some cool and useful skills that he learned from his dad, whereas my dad never taught me anything except how to hold a grudge (not always useful). Rating: Director: Cast: IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: Strictly Ballroom

 

This is my new favorite movie of all time. It has everything: music, dancing, comedy, romance, fear, courage, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters . . . vivir con miedo, es como vivir a medias! Highly recommended! Rating: Strictly Ballroom Director: Baz Luhrmann Cast: Paul Mercurio Scott Hastings, Tara Morice Fran, Bill Hunter Barry Fife, Pat Thomson Shirley Hastings IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: Treeless Mountain

 

I’m in love with this movie. What is about? Read the IMDB plot summary below. It’s also about hanging on to the past, letting go of the past, and the resilience of the human heart. You’re not into that kind of thing? Fine, go watch Hot Tub Time Machine. Come on, you’re better than that. Highly recommended! Rating: Treeless Mountain Director: So Yong Kim (as So-yong Kim) Cast: Chae Gil Byung Pedestrian in City, Jung Gil Ja Minoo’s Mom, Shin Hyun Je Bus Driver, Kim Mi Jung Hyun’s Mom IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

EppsNet Movie Reviews: We Are the Best!

 

Contrary to the IMDB summary below, only two of the girls, Klara and Bobo, have no instruments (or talent). The third girl, Hedvig, is a painfully shy classical guitar-playing schoolmate recruited to teach them about music. This movie is a joy! I don’t know what else to say. See it. Rating: We Are the Best! Director: Cast: IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: A Serious Man

 

When the truth is found . . . to be lies. And all the hope . . . within you dies. What then? Life is bleak. If you try to lead a good life, bad things happen. If you yield to temptation, worse things happen. Religion offers no more wisdom, insight or consolation than a Jefferson Airplane song. P.S. I know the lyric should be “joy” and not “hope” but in the movie the rabbi says “hope.” Rating: A Serious Man Director: Ethan Coen, Joel Coen Cast: Michael Stuhlbarg Larry Gopnik, Richard Kind Uncle Arthur, Sari Lennick Judith Gopnik, Fred Melamed Sy Ableman IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: Gravity

 

As a kid, one of my hobbies was card tricks. When I started learning card tricks, I had the misconception that the quality of a trick was proportional to how difficult it was to perform. Hard tricks = good, easy tricks = lame. Today I can perform exactly zero card tricks. I don’t remember even one. What I do remember though is the general principle that the quality of a trick depends on the effect – what the audience sees – and not at all on how the trick is done. An audience doesn’t know or care if you’ve practiced a trick for years or if you just learned it five minutes ago. The principle applies to things other than card tricks. You can read on IMDb and elsewhere about the technological challenges that had to be overcome in making Gravity. The state-of-the-art cinematography and visual effects would not have… Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: City Lights

 

Could there be a more perfect ending to a film? I’m a sap for a great ending, so I don’t even care that there were maybe a couple of moments where I caught myself thinking “This bit hasn’t really held up well over time.” Rating: City Lights Director: Charles Chaplin Cast: Charles Chaplin (as Charlie Chaplin) A Tramp, Virginia Cherrill A Blind Girl, Florence Lee Her Grandmother, Florence Lee The Blind Girl’s Grandmother IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: The Monuments Men

 

This movie is getting killed on Rotten Tomatoes — 34 percent as I write this. Granted, it’s not in 3-D, doesn’t have robots or aliens or other really fake-looking bullshit, and despite being set during World War II, has only a minimal amount of violent action. (If you like that kind of thing, fear not! We were shown previews for Pompeii, Spiderman, X-Men, some Tom Cruise sci-fi thing . . . rest assured there’s plenty of crap in the pipeline.) The Monuments Men tells an interesting story in an entertaining way, with memorable scenes and characters, and the best female role I’ve seen in a movie since Come Back, Little Sheba. Rating: The Monuments Men Director: George Clooney Cast: George Clooney Frank Stokes, Matt Damon James Granger, Bill Murray Richard Campbell, Cate Blanchett Claire Simone IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: Singin’ in the Rain

 

We saw Singin’ in the Rain on Netflix this weekend. Why this film is so beloved is a mystery to me. It feels thrown together, like someone took a bunch of unrelated songs and wrote a plot around them. Which in fact is what they did. And the songs aren’t that great either. In particular, “Singin’ in the Rain” is not a great song . . . the melody is boring and it’s not a great lyric. The Cyd Charisse sequence seems to have been dropped in from a different movie. The Music Man is better. Mary Poppins is better. The King and I is better. My Fair Lady is better. That’s just off the top of my head. The Wizard of Oz is better, but I’m not sure that counts as a musical. Great dance numbers though. Singin’ in the Rain Director: Stanley Donen, Gene Kelly Cast: Gene Kelly… Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

 

When you are young, your potential is infinite. You might do anything, really. You might be Einstein. You might be DiMaggio. Then you get to an age where what you might be gives way to what you have been. You weren’t Einstein. You weren’t anything. That’s a bad moment. Chuck Barris was way ahead of his time in recognizing how many Americans are willing to make an ass of themselves on television. The tone of the movie is inconsistent — is it a comedy? a thriller? a tragedy? — but it’s entertaining. Thus: Recommended! Confessions of a Dangerous Mind Director: George Clooney Cast: Sam Rockwell (Chuck Barris), Drew Barrymore (Penny), George Clooney (Jim Byrd), Julia Roberts (Patricia Watson) IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

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