EppsNet

I’m not wearing green today — because I’m a dog. Don’t try to pinch me or I’ll bite you.

— Lightning

This is how to say “step away from the bone”: GRRRRRRRR!

OK, enough academics! Here’s a cartoon I really like:

— Lightning

Originally uploaded by amberlabelledvm

Because I’m pressed for time, I take the dog for a short walk this evening, just long enough to take care of the essentials.

My wife is concerned that five minutes isn’t enough exercise for the little guy, but isn’t a five-minute walk equivalent to a 35-minute walk for dogs?

I’ve heard that dogs can count up to 4 or 5. I’ve never tried to go that high but I know I can count up to 2 because every morning my owner gives me 2 vitamin tablets and when he gives me the first one I wait for the second one and when he gives me the second one I run off and do something else.

Oh this is unexpected! He just dropped a vitamin tablet on the floor so I ate it!

Now he’s giving me the first vitamin tablet . . .

(Waiting . . . waiting . . .)

I’m getting a bad feeling about this. DON’T TELL ME THE DROPPED ONE COUNTS AGAINST MY DAILY ALLOTMENT!

— Lightning

He is a bad dog . . . a pit bull mix. Last night he attacked Kumba the Shih Tzu, who is my neighbor across the street, and Kumba’s owner.

My owner heard screaming and ran outside. The pit bull owner was holding his dog back and Kumba’s owner was down on the sidewalk bleeding and screaming. She was very scared. She held her hand up to my owner like a drowning person.

Kumba was hiding in some bushes behind a tree so my owner went in and carried him out. Then the police came and the firemen came.

Kumba had a bite on his back and one of his back legs was hurt but he’s going to be okay and his owner is going to be okay.

I told Kumba he was very brave, even though he wasn’t. But it made him feel better and there was no harm in it.

Shih Tzus aren’t fighting dogs like pit bulls and pugs . . .

— Lightning

Originally uploaded by Beastie182

Originally uploaded by h4ndz

Originally uploaded by pugphotos

Cats do not have a word for “fetch.”

— Lightning

Cuban Foreign Minister Bruno Rodriguez said in a televised press conference that Obama lied during the United Nations summit in Copenhagen and is making a habit of it after less than a year in office.

“He lies all the time, deceives with demagogic words, with profound cynicism,” Rodriguez told reporters.

“In this summit there was only an imperial, arrogant Obama who doesn’t listen, who imposes positions that even threaten developing countries,” he said.

Cuba joined Venezuela, Bolivia and and Nicaragua in opposing formal U.N. adoption of the deal which they and other developing nations saw as an imposition by powerful nations.

— Reuters

I AM SO ANGRY WITH GEORGE W BUSH ALEINATING FOREIGN LEDERS AND HARMING OUT INTERNATIONAL REPUTATION WITH HIS HIGH-HANDED TACITCIS TAHT I CANT EVEN THYPE

Wait — what? Oh okay, never mind . . .

— Lightning

Originally uploaded by wombatarama

Originally uploaded by RM Porangaba

Originally uploaded by pugphotos

Originally uploaded by RM Porangaba

Originally uploaded by Suzi Foo

Originally uploaded by vickie c

This morning I was visiting my friend Ty the Samoyed. He lives across the street from me. He’s rambunctious and pushy but he’s only two years old so I give him some leeway.

“I’m glad he’s still friends with Lightning,” his owner said. “He got in a fight with Bon Bon the golden retriever.”

“Who fights with golden retrievers?” my owner said. “They’re the most peaceful dogs.”

Ty told me he thought Bon Bon was up to something . . .

— Lightning

Hi everybody! Here’s a picture my owner made for me on my birthday. LOL!

My owner bought me a new kind of dog food called Wolf King. A wolf king is like an alpha pug.

“The bag says it’s for large-breed dogs,” his son said.

“Lightning is a large-breed dog,” my owner said.

“No he isn’t.”

“Except for his size, he is. He has the heart of a much larger animal.”

— Lightning

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning!

I’m excited because this week is USC vs. Notre Dame, the greatest intersectional rivalry in college football!

I love USC because my owner went to USC. Hooray! I hate Notre Dame. Grrrrrrrrr!

Do you know what I do when Notre Dame beats USC? Neither do I because I’m only six years old.

— Lightning

Originally uploaded by pugphotos

Originally uploaded by wombatarama

Learn all the tricks you can while you’re young . . .

— Lightning