EppsNet Archive: Pugs

Dogs in San Francisco

 

If you’re a dog or a recently released felon, you are welcome in San Francisco. Not only are there lots of people walking in SF, there are lots of people walking with dogs. French Bulldogs, Huskies and Pomeranians seems to be especially popular. Until he got too old to really enjoy it, I took Lightning to the Irvine dog park six days a week (it’s closed on Wednesdays) for years. I’ve spent a lot of time around dogs, so I’m better than most people at identifying dog breeds. We were walking in San Francisco last weekend when my wife pointed and asked “What kind of dog is that?” Before I could say “It’s a Labradoodle,” our boy said “Labradoodle.” I must have been visibly stunned because he then asked me “Were you going to say ‘Goldendoodle’?” “No . . . you’re pretty good at identifying dogs now.” This is a… Read more →

I Can’t See Anymore But I Am Still Handsome

 

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I’m almost 84 years old now in dog years. I can’t see anymore and my joints are not too good but aging doesn’t dampen the spirits of pugs like it does with people. I can remember where things are in the house (unless someone moves them) so I can still walk around without bumping into a lot of things. The good thing is that I can sometimes smack into a door or a wall or a piece of furniture without affecting my handsome appearance because my face is flat already. — Lightning Read more →

I Don’t Know How Starbucks Stays in Business

 

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! On weekend mornings my owner goes to Starbucks and brings back a pup cup of whipped cream for me! Today I noticed on my cup that if I don’t love my pup cup they’ll make me another one for free! “The pup cups are always free,” my owner says. “You don’t have to tell them you didn’t love it to get a free one.” I don’t know how Starbucks stays in business if they’re giving away the most delicious stuff for free. — Lightning Read more →

Teaching Computer Science: The Last Day

 

On the last day of class, I gave students the code for a partially working Space Invaders game, along with instructions for adding collision detection and completing the implementation. The instructions didn’t leave too much to the imagination because I wanted to give everyone a chance to finish out the year on a successful note. I estimated it to be about a 30-minute activity. It didn’t occur to me that that students would do anything but finish the program and spend whatever time was left over blasting aliens. What they actually did was, they finished the program, tweaked the firing interval so they could shoot faster, changed the speed of the sprites, added more aliens, changed the program to shoot two bullets at a time instead of one, changed the program to shoot five bullets at a time, enabled the aliens to drop bombs, had the game recognize that when… Read more →

My 2nd Favorite Hockey Team

 

Hi, everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I’m sad today because the Ducks lost. The Ducks are my favorite hockey team. I like to watch hockey games on TV with my owner because even though I’m old and I can’t see anymore I like the sounds of the skates and the pucks and the sticks. My second favorite hockey team is the Lightning. I hope they win the Stanley Cup. I like to watch Lightning games because the TV says “… blah blah blah Lightning blah blah blah Lightning blah blah blah Lightning …” — Lightning Read more →

I Will Show You How a Pug Eats an Ice Cream Cone

 

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! There’s a funny video of dogs eating ice cream on the internet: The puggle on the left is an embarrassment! What kind of dog eats ice cream like that? She would not last one day in the wild! Do beagles eat ice cream like that? I am old and I can’t even see anymore so if there’s something in front of me I can’t tell what size or shape it is but when I decide that it’s edible I CHOMP on it! — Lightning Read more →

Three is Enough

 

One of the neighbor ladies is over talking to my wife while Lightning and I entertain two of her three daughters, ages 3 and 7. “I want a dog like Lightning,” the 7-year-old says. “We just have boring fish.” “What does your mom say about that?” I ask. “She says having a dog is a lot of work.” “It is a lot of work.” “She says the three of us are enough work already.” Read more →

Yes, I’m Ready for the Big Game!

 

People keep asking me, “Lightning, are you ready for the Big Game?” OF COURSE I’M READY FOR THE BIG GAME! Look at me … how could I be any more ready than I already am?! P.S. Wake me up if there are any pug commercials this year. — Lightning Read more →

I Can Still Eat

 

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! My owner bought each of us a chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A. He’s a fast eater but I ate my whole sandwich before he was even half way done with his! I’m very old now. I can hardly see, hear or walk. But my eating ability has not dropped off AT ALL! — Lightning Read more →

By Way of Explanation

 

I was yelling this morning and I scared the dog. I wasn’t angry at him or at anyone in the house, I was angry about a whole life insurance scam we got in the mail. (That’s redundant, isn’t it? “Whole life insurance scam”?) Anyway, the dog got scared and crawled under the bed. His joints, especially in his back legs, are not too good anymore and once he got under the bed, he couldn’t get back out. I had to crawl under there myself, roll him on his side, which he didn’t like, and then slide him out. That’s in case you’re wondering why I showed up late for work this morning looking like I just crawled out from under a bed . . . Read more →

Did Robin Williams Have a Dog?

 

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I’m seeing a person named Robin Williams on TV a lot. He always seems excited and happy, like a puppy! It’s scaring people that he ended his own life. Dogs never end their own life, no matter what. You might think we couldn’t do that but we could run in front of a car or jump off a balcony, just to name a couple of things. I wonder if Robin Williams had a dog . . . My owner and I are getting old together. We can’t run like we used to, or see very well or hear very well. He’s sad about it sometimes but I think it helps people to see dogs trying our best in every situation. Everything is temporary. — Lightning Read more →

Lightning Got a Personalized Pup Cup

 

When I go to Starbucks on weekends I always get a pup cup — a short cup of whipped cream — for Lightning. No one ever asks me about it . . . I just place my own order, ask for a short cup of whipped cream, they write “Paul” on both cups and serve them up. Today the Starbucks girl was puzzled. “You want a short cup of whipped cream?” she asked. “A short cup of whipped cream, right.” She still had a puzzled look on her face. Maybe she thought what I really wanted was cream. “It’s for my dog,” I said. “Your dog likes whipped cream?” “He loves it.” “What’s your dog’s name?” “Lightning.” “Lightning?” “Right. Like thunder and lightning.” So this morning, after years of eating pup cups with someone else’s name on them, Lightning got his own personalized pup cup. Read more →

A Pug Story

 

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! My owner read me a story by Isaac Babel: And Mimka arrived too, curled up on the sofa and fell asleep at once. She was a terrible sleepy-head, but a wonderful dog, good-hearted, sensible, small and pretty. Mimka was a pug-dog. Her coat was light in colour. Even in old age she never grew fat or flabby, never put on weight, but remained shapely and slender. She lived with us a long time, from birth to death, the whole of her fifteen years’ doggy life, and loved us — quite plainly, and most of all Grandmother, who was stern and without mercy to anyone. What friends they were, silent and secretive, I shall tell another time. It is a very good, touching and tender story. Actually that was only part of the story but the rest was kind of boring and I don’t really remember… Read more →

A Saddening Trip to the Vet

 

Even with the utterly lost, to whom life and death are equally jests, there are matters of which no jest can be made. — Edgar Allan Poe, “The Masque of the Red Death”   I’m picking up Lightning’s prescription at the vet . . . the new girl, Lauren, is at the desk. I can hear a woman weeping loudly from back in the hospital area. “That doesn’t sound good,” I say. “A husky attacked her dog at the dog park,” Lauren says. “A little Yorkie. Broke its neck.” “That’s awful.” I don’t even have the heart to ask her if she cut the pills on the lines. Read more →

Fear of Lightning

 

Yes! Especially if you’re a dog! Ordinarily, I’m very loving but I don’t put up with a lot of nonsense! — Lightning Read more →

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