EppsNet Archive: Skiing

God: “I Gave Him a Sign”

30 Oct 2015 /
Death by Freeway Sign

I hope I don’t die some cartoonish death like skiing into a tree or being launched out of my car and flattened against a freeway sign. It’s funny when it happens to other people though.

The only thing funnier would be if he’d left a spread-eagle person-shaped hole in the sign and then died when he hit a second sign.

When reached for comment, God said, “I gave him a sign.”


Teaching Computer Science: Ski Week

3 Mar 2015 /

Skier

Corona del Mar High School doesn’t just take Presidents Day off . . . they take the whole week off and call it Ski Week.

It’s a total non sequitur in terms of paying tribute to our nation’s greatest leaders. George Washington didn’t ski. Abraham Lincoln didn’t ski.

“How do you know Abraham Lincoln didn’t ski?” a student asks.

“He was too busy writing the Gettysburg Address.”

“He wrote that in 20 minutes.”

“There was the whole Civil War thing going on. He didn’t have time for ski trips with his buddies.”

It’s hard to think of a notable historical figure who also a skier. If you want to accomplish great deeds, you have to give things up. You can’t get bogged down in nonsense.


Serious People Don’t Ski

20 Mar 2011 /

Five men, including three prominent Long Beach community and business leaders, were killed and one person seriously injured Wednesday when their Salt Lake City-bound plane crashed along a runway at Long Beach Airport and burst into flames.

The group of six were on their way to ski in Park City, Utah, friends said.

I think we’ve covered this before but there are certain key indicators in life that you are not a serious person and one of those indicators is that you take ski trips.

And it’s a key indicator squared if you’re a grown man and you take ski trips with other grown men.

Did Nietzsche take ski vacations with his buddies? No, he didn’t.

Did Abe Lincoln take ski vacations?

Did Gandhi take ski vacations?

You see how ridiculous it is to even think about that?

So on the bright side, it’s not like promising lives have been cut short here . . .


More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of

9 Sep 2010 /
Maya Angelou reciting her poem, "On the P...

Anyone who REALLY likes one or more of the following:

  • The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
  • Tom Clancy
  • Golf
  • The Big Lebowski
  • Beer (bonus points if you call it “brew”)
  • Las Vegas
  • Boating
  • KISS
  • Skiing
  • Frank Zappa (bonus points if you just say “Zappa”)
  • Their own abs
  • When Harry Met Sally…
  • Mitch Albom
  • Maya Angelou

Twitter: 2009-08-31

31 Aug 2009 /
  • If you leave the final s off the word assess, spell-check will not flag it as an error. This was an accidental discovery, like penicillin. #
  • I saw a kid walking around today wearing a ski cap. A SKI CAP!? IT'S 93 DEGREES! Wearing SKIS would make more sense! #