EppsNet Archive: Tennis

One Thing I Can’t Tolerate is Intolerance: Margaret Court Edition

1 Jun 2017 /

Margaret Court is being vilified and stigmatized this week — “racist,” “homophobe,” ‘blood on her hands,” name should be taken off the Australian Open arena, etc. — because she opposes gay marriage and homosexuality in general.

Margaret Court, 1971

If you want to position yourself as a champion of inclusion, diversity, respect, tolerance, you’ve got to extend those things to other people as well, and not just people who see the world exactly like you do.

You want tolerance and respect for sexual preferences? What about religious preferences? Margaret Court is a Christian pastor. A lot of people believe that God frowns on homosexuality. I don’t believe that myself but it’s not a weird fringe opinion.

Yes, Margaret Court introduced Satan and Nazis and Communists into the conversation, but Margaret Court isn’t presenting herself as an advocate of inclusion and tolerance. She’s saying this is right and that is wrong.

You can’t position yourself as an advocate of tolerance and oppose Margaret Court if you’re engaged in the same name-calling and bashing that she is: As an advocate of tolerance, I say that people like Margaret Court should not be tolerated!

If you were to come out and and say, “Look, I’m just as intolerant as Margaret Court but in the opposite direction. That’s the only difference between us. Whereas Margaret Court says these people are bad and these people are good, I say these people are good and these people are bad.”

That seems like a consistent, respectable position to have, but not intolerance in support of tolerance. That doesn’t make any sense . . .

Replacement Refs Are Just What the Sport Needs

25 Sep 2012 /
Replacement Refs

I hope the NFL keeps replacement refs around forever. I hope they bring in a new batch of them every season. I hope they bring in replacement refs for the replacement refs.

Why do people think the “real” refs are actually good? Was last night’s Seattle-Green Bay game really worse than the “Tuck Rule”? Was it worse than 2006 when the “real” refs cost the Seahawks the Super Bowl?

Sports fans are the biggest cretins on the planet. When their team wins, they gloat, usually in the first person: We won! We beat those guys!

There are no bigger mental and emotional retards than people who refer to sports teams in the first person. It’s an inability to separate fantasy from reality. (Imagine a Roger Federer fan screaming, “I just won Wimbledon!”

When ther team loses, they blame it on one of two things: 1) Bad coaching; 2) Bad officiating.

Replacement refs play right into #2. It’s perfect. Every jackass fan now has a built-in excuse as to why his team lost.

The NFL will be more popular than ever.

At Least Someone in L.A. Three-Peated

25 May 2011 /

Quote of the Day

3 Jun 2010 /

You frogs can kiss my . . . how do you say “big black ass” in French?

— Serena Williams

Twitter: 2010-05-26

26 May 2010 /

Twitter: 2009-07-05

5 Jul 2009 /
  • RT @sportsguy33: The 4th of July is like one super-slow home run trot as the English stare us down from the mound. Suck it, England! #
  • RT @presentationzen: A pie chart of procrastination http://post.ly/16VO #
  • When the only tool you have is a suicide bomb, every problem looks like a jihad — Best of the Web Today #
  • What a match! Unbelievable… #
  • Why didn't God send the swine flu to the Atheist Kids camp? http://bit.ly/EQtfE #

Trojans Are National Champions!

21 May 2009 /
USC Trojans

USC wins its 17th national championship in men’s tennis.


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I Think He Means Smart-Alecky in a Good Way

18 Feb 2007 /
Boy playing tennis

My son’s tennis teacher asks me where the boy gets his “smart-alecky” personality — from me or my wife?

“Well,” I say, “if by ‘smart-alecky’ you mean ‘funny,’ he gets it from me. If you mean ‘argues for the sake of arguing,’ he gets that from his mom.”

Brush with Greatness

3 Nov 2006 /
Lindsay Davenport

I saw Lindsay Davenport yesterday at Borders in South Coast Plaza. She was sitting in the cafe area talking with another woman when I walked past.

I had to double back to make sure it was really her.

I expect famous people to be larger than life, and Lindsay Davenport is a big girl anyway, so I’m thinking that she should be gigantic, which she wasn’t.

But I walked past a second time and it was definitely her . . .

Tennis Parents Can Blow Me

28 Oct 2006 /

My kid plays Team Tennis here in Irvine . . . on Saturdays, they play other teams from around Orange County.

Boy playing tennis

Tennis parents are obsessive, just like hockey parents. The difference is that hockey parents can scream at the kids, refs, coaches, other parents, passers-by, etc., during the games, whereas tennis etiquette requires parents to stay quiet during the matches and berate the kids afterwards.

My son’s team played the Balboa Bay Racquet Club team this past weekend. One of the smug tennis dads on our team showed up wearing a backpack with his own racket in it.

Now why would he do that?

He’s obviously not going to play tennis with it because it’s a kids’ event, so he just wanted everyone to know yeah, I’m a tennis player myself, my son is a tennis player because I’m a tennis player, blah blah blah . . .

My lifetime supply of patience with overly involved sports parents has already been exhausted, believe me, so when our team won a close match, 5-4, and he stood up and said “Tough win” with a satisfied smirk on his face like he’d won the match himself, I said, “Not for you it wasn’t. You just sat on your ass in the shade.”

That should keep him from talking to me any more the rest of the season.

The Difference Between Golfers and Tennis Players

6 Jun 2006 /

I was watching the French Open on TV this weekend, and I noticed that all the ads were for investment companies. I’ve noticed when watching golf tournaments that all the ads are for erectile dysfunction drugs.

Draw your own conclusions.

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First Tennis Lesson

20 Mar 2006 /

First tennis lesson

High Noon

26 Sep 2004 /
Lizard and cactus in desert

“I can’t believe people are playing tennis at high noon,” my son says as we drive by the local courts.

“They’re building up their stamina,” I suggest.

“They’re getting skin cancer,” he replies.

“They’ll need stamina to battle the skin cancer.”

USC Alumni Notes

23 May 2002 /