Two More Reasons I Won’t Go on a Cruise


Captured by pirates, you are given a choice between walking the plank or joining the crew. The crew are all Yankees fans.


When your luxury cruise ship, featuring Las Vegas–style live entertainment, sinks in midocean, you find yourself adrift in a lifeboat with a tiger, a chimp, and an Herbalife salesman. On the second day, the tiger and the chimp commit suicide.

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