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I went to a 50th wedding anniversary mass today. Normally I wouldn’t be caught dead at such a thing but in this case the husband and wife also happen to be my parents so not only was I there, I was there bright and early to hand out programs.

Fifty years! How do a man and a woman celebrate with each other such longevity and perseverance?

Honey, I want to say something to you tonight that I’ve never said before, although I’ve had it in my heart for many, many years.

Three little words . . .

. . . let’s try anal . . .