Shell or Chevron?

Old gas pump

I gotta get some gas. I pull off the freeway — Shell or Chevron? They’re right next to each other. I check the price for regular — $2.93 either way.

It’s a tossup.

Then my son notices on a sign that the Shell gasoline is “nitrogen enriched.”

“Nitrogen enriched!?” I say. “Are you kidding me?! Fuck Chevron . . . what is nitrogen, anyway?”

“It’s an element.”

“Yeah I know, but who can tell me why it’s a good idea to put it in gasoline? What are we, chemistry professors?”

“It seeks out and destroys engine gunk.”

“What? How do you know that?”

“I read it on the sign.”

“Oh . . . OK then, we’re going Shell!”

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