EppsNet Archive: Gas Prices

“Get the Vaccine” — Joe Biden


OK grandpa, now go take a nap. That’s the only Biden quote I have. Nothing on the latest jobs report, massive layoffs, high gas and energy prices, high food prices, high crime, empty shelves, open borders or Afghanistan. If you have any good ones, let me know and I’ll post them here. Read more →

The Chevron Guy


My boy and I are buying sodas at the Chevron station . . . I notice they’ve got the place plastered with breast cancer donation stickers . . . donate a buck to breast cancer research and you can put your name on a 3×5 sticker with a pink car and a Chevron logo and they’ll stick it up on the wall. I object to that. Let Chevron donate their own damn money instead of shaking down the customers. “Would you like to donate a dollar to breast cancer research?” the attendant asks. “No,” I reply. “Shouldn’t Chevron make their own donations? They’ve got more money than I do.” It takes the guy a few moments to pick up on my theme, but as we’re wrapping up the transaction, he grabs the ball and runs with it. “Yeah,” he says, “and the price of gas keeps going up.” “It does,… Read more →

School’s Out


Today was the last day of school here in Irvine . . . “Can I get a ride to Orchard Park?” my son asks. He has friends that he meets there to play basketball. “Did you check with Mom?” I ask. “I don’t have to check with Mom,” he says. “I’m out of school now.” “So you don’t have to check with Mom?” “No. Not any more.”   After he checks with his mom, I drive him over to the park. Actually, he drives to the park and I ride along. As we’re approaching a red light at Jeffrey and Trabuco, he says, “I’ll stop the car so you can’t even feel it.” This is something I showed him how to do. I’m pretty good at it, but he goes through so many slow-motion false stops and starts that by the time he’s done, the car is almost entirely in… Read more →

Shell or Chevron?


I gotta get some gas. I pull off the freeway — Shell or Chevron? They’re right next to each other. I check the price for regular — $2.93 either way. It’s a tossup. Then my son notices on a sign that the Shell gasoline is “nitrogen enriched.” “Nitrogen enriched!?” I say. “Are you kidding me?! Fuck Chevron . . . what is nitrogen, anyway?” “It’s an element.” “Yeah I know, but who can tell me why it’s a good idea to put it in gasoline? What are we, chemistry professors?” “It seeks out and destroys engine gunk.” “What? How do you know that?” “I read it on the sign.” “Oh . . . OK then, we’re going Shell!” Read more →

The Price of Gas


I can remember the first time I paid $20 for a tank of gas. I can remember the first time I paid $30. And $40. But I’ve recently blown through the $50, $60 and $70 barriers so fast that they don’t even seem like milestones anymore . . . Read more →